Reminiscence, Thoughts, Notions and Concepts

How to sell yourself

2009-08-05T06:58:00.000-07:00

To get ahead in life, you need to be in the business of selling. If this statement makes you cringe, it is probably because the word “sales” evokes images of annoying telemarketers and pushy car dealers. Relax, though, as this article is about a product so wonderful and special you should have no qualms in selling it. The product? You.

There are endless situations in life where the key to success is the ability to sell yourself to others. In your career, the ability to convince an interviewer that you are the best person for the job is critical. When it comes to relationships, your ability to show your best qualities can be the crucial factor in clinching a date with the girl or guy you want. When you think about it, if you cannot sell yourself as a person to others, you are going to have a difficult time selling them your ideas, your wishes, your needs, your ambitions, your skills, and your experience.

Despite the necessity of being able to sell yourself to others, for many people like myself it does not come naturally. Introversion, shyness, and lack of self-worth are just a few of the obstacles that can potentially get in the way. To overcome such obstacles, I suggest focusing on the following:

Be Sold on Yourself
This is the first, and perhaps most important, aspect to successfully selling yourself to others. Unless it comes naturally, this is probably also the hardest. Being sold on yourself comes down to this: you must be aware of your own self-worth. This means you believe in yourself, have faith in yourself, and have confidence in yourself.

Being sold on yourself is not something that usually happens overnight. For many years, I did not like myself. I can, however, personally attest that it is possible to change your life and gain a sense of self-worth when there was once none. If you struggle with your sense of self-worth, here are just 3 ideas that may help:

-Live in such a way that you would want to be friends with yourself
-Find some time to reflect on what you like about yourself. If this seems hard, start with the smallest of attributes.
-Don’t do anything that will give you cause to feel ashamed later.

Have a Saleable Package

This article is predominately about letting others know about the inner contents of your package. That being said, there is no getting around the fact that people judge others based on their appearance. Some questions you may consider asking yourself are: am I looking after my appearance to the best of my ability? Are my clothes appropriate for the image I wish to project?

Be Positive and Enthusiastic

Can you remember the last time you received poor customer service? Did the person look bored, disinterested, and as if they wanted to be anywhere but that place? Don’t be that person. Positivity and enthusiasm can both be developed, but once again it takes work. Here are a few tips to help you:

-Look for the best in people
-Associate with positive people
-Care deeply about something
-See life as an adventure
-Smile

Be Real and Authentic

Rather than being about who you appear to be, selling yourself is about letting others know who you are as a person. For this reason, lies and half-truths are a recipe for disaster later down the line. By telling the truth, you will earn both trust and respect which, in turn, will help you build a great reputation. Not only that, it will make you feel good about yourself. The last thing you want to do is sell yourself out by compromising your values and principles.

Some Intriguing Line's to used for the Ladies.

2009-03-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

Hey Bro!

Been such a long time since we've spoken. Anyways this is gonna be really long.

Who says there's no such thing as magic? When it comes to women, cocky+funny is PURE 100% magic. It is one of the major keys to getting her making her comfortable with you, to getting her number, to getting the date, kissing, getting laid, EVERYTHING! Your stuff is pure platinum my man! Looking back on mailbags from over a year ago, I still shake my head and say: "Man, this guy is good. I cant wait 'till I am able to pull off those lines like that!" The lines are so funny and with cockiness, it just blows them away! Everytime you do it, you can just FEEL the women responding to you in a positive way and not trying to ignore you or get away from you when you act like a wuss-bag. They are always laughing and smiling and even THEY tend to get touchy-feely, asking me for MY number and then calling ME (of course, I always get their numbers too) or asking me to call them, asking me when we're going out, and even asking ME for sex. I could not believe it! And often, this could happen within minutes or hours of meeting...not weeks, months, or years like I once thought it took. I suggest all guys especially the skeptics out there to check you out. It works!

What I LOVE is how you say making it look like as if a woman is picking YOU up. It sure takes the pressure off of the situation. It's all in the mind set. You are not nervous because you know shewants you and is trying to get you...not the other way around. Then you act accordingly.

Here's justa few of the lines I use:

"Look, just because you're being sweet to me doesn't mean I'm going to sleep with you. What?You thought I was THAT easy? Come on!"

(with women at work or women working somewhere)"How can you possibly get any work done when you're flirting with me all the time? I know I'm hot and all but if you lose your job, don't think I'm going to support you!"

(after seeing a woman) "I know we had fun, but please don't become a stalker and call me 50 times a day or else I'll have the cops pay you a visit with a restraining order in hand!"

(If a woman hints at sex or sometimes I'll bring it up)
"I don't know if I could have sex with you...what if you could only last 2 minutes? I don't know if you can even kiss...I tell you what, I'll THINK about it" (then I kiss her)

(cocky+funny for a common situation)
Her: "How are you?"
Me: "Well, I've been told I'm pretty damn good!"with a 'wink'

(If a woman walks past me)
Me: "What are you doing" (or where are you going?)
Her: "I'm going to such and such or I'm doing such and such"
Me: "You're a lousy liar......It's really ok to admit you were just trying to get a look at me... and as long as you're not a stalker, I may give you a chance!"

(If she makes fun of herself) Her: "I'm such a retard" or "My hair looks awful" or "My lipstick doesn't look good does it?"
Me: "Well, I didn't want to say anything!" lol"But I think those guys over there were thinking 'What's her problem? She's so clueless!"

OR

Her: "My hair looks bad doesn't it?" (or any other line where she makes fun of herself)
Me: "You can say that again!" (with a playful tone)

I love it! I love it! With this type of communication, they react SO differently! A lot of times, they will break down and admit they DO like me! And this keeps you out of the "lets just be friends" category and reduces the number of fake numbers and blow-offs you get from women. It also keeps you from appearing "TOO NICE". AND I don't have to CHASE them anymore! It's a wonderful feeling. Now on the other hand, what if you said:

"I bet you have a boyfriend, right?"
"Hey baby, you're so beautiful!"
"Can I take you out sometime?"
"Oh, baby, there's nothing wrong with you! You're gorgeous!"

AH! bro, just like you say...THIS STUFF IS TERRIBLE! Wuss, kiss-ass behavior at its best!
It's so lame, so boring, and so wussie! Using cocky+funny, we can have more fun without sounding like a loser plus women respond 1,000,000% times better with cocky+funny. Probably only 1-2% of the male population know what cocky+funny is and probably half of those do it without realizing it. This type of communication is DIFFERENT from what MOST guys do which makes you stand out! But it's a lot like water. For water (H20), you need 2 hydrogen atoms and one oxygen atom. If not then you get some other element you aren't looking for. You have to have the right mixture of cocky AND funny or else it doesn't work as well (although sheer cockiness with mild humor CAN work to a degree).

Now, I have a question and observation that is important to me, bro. SOMETIMES when I throw out a cocky+funny response, they will say "Oh whatever!" or roll their eyes or say you're mean, get mad, or something like that and walk away.This happens not often but on rare occasions. These women are probably uptight anyways and not worth getting to know. When they say "whatever" or "You're so mean" and they're laughing or smiling, and they still keep talking to me, then I know it's working. Also, when you say something like:"...Oh quit lying, you were just walking near me because you want me" and they say "No, I don't want you" or "No I wasn't, I was just doing _ _ _ _ _"in a semi-serious tone, how do you respond to that to keep the cocky+funny going? In other words,what do you do when they act as if they ARENT picking you up?
Thanks a million bro...you've changed my life forever... seriously.

GT from Nashville, Tennessee

>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, so let's talk about the great comments that you've shared, and then I'll address your question...

I was amazed when I first realized that you could actually turn the tables around, pretend that you're trying to "resist her advances," and make fun of her for trying to "put the moves on you"... and wind up having the woman you're talking to actually start feeling attracted to you as a result.

It really is amazing.

Now, I know that a lot of guys hear this approach and think, "Yeah, right. There's no way that just pretending that a woman is pursuing you will MAKE her pursue you"...

But this isn't just any old common way of"pretending."

What you're doing here is a very special, Cocky& Funny, flirty, engaging way of pretending.

I'm sure you've watched the Discovery Channel, and seen animals "play-fighting." It's common among young animals in particular.

Now, how do animals know that it's only "play,"as opposed to "real" fighting?
I mean, have you ever seen the way some animals, like lion cubs and wolf pups jump on and bite each other?

It certainly LOOKS like real fighting.

But it's not... it's play.

Well there's a very similar thing that happens when you flirt with a woman using the Cocky &Funny technique... and when you use this further to pretend that she's trying to "pick you up" and you're "resisting her advances."

You have to use just a LITTLE EXTRA drama.
You have to be a little "overly suspicious"with your tone.
You have to act just a little too serious and offended.

These little cues, along with a good sense of humor and timing are the hints and triggers that make a woman instantly switch into "Oh, this is play" mode, instead of behaving as if you're a loser who has no imagination.

There are some other key benefits as well, as you mentioned above, when you're using this approach.

One is that you don't come across as nervous or intimidated. The fact that you're turning the tables around, having fun, and acting like you're something special sends the message that you're totally cool, calm, and comfortable in your own skin... and, in fact, you're SO comfortable that you're going to go immediately to "play" mode.

Another is that it gives you a "character role"to play that is the OPPOSITE of being a WUSS. This is handy, as most guys switch quickly into Wussmode when they start talking to an attractive woman.
Finally, it gives you all kinds of great ways to end the interaction...

You can say:

"OK, well I'm not going to give you my number, but you can write down your email for me, and maybe I'll get back to you sometime..." etc.

It even makes taking things to the next level easy and charming, because you're "resisting forward."

A quick personal story:

I was at TGIF`s yesterday afternoon with a friend, and the waitress approached us to get our order.
She walked over and said something like, "Hi, can I get you something to drink?" etc.

I pretended not to notice her, and kept talking to my friend.

Then, as she finished asking the question, I turned to her with a surprised and "fake offended" look on my face and said, "Oh, that's OK, I was just TALKING" (as if she had interrupted me).

She opened her mouth with the "Oh, no you didn't! I can't believe you just said that" look.

I shook my head at her.

Then my friend looked at her and said, "Wow, you're standing closer to him".The she looks at me and said loud enough for her to hear "Next thing she's going to be asking for your phone number."

I shook my head at her again, and rolled my eyes.

We gave her the drink order, and she went away.

She came back a few minutes later to tell me that my drink was going to be delayed, because they were making some kind of change in the kitchen.

Of course, I threw up my hands in despair, rolled my eyes at her, and shook my head (as if she was disappointing me horribly).

She laughed and said, "Hey, you'd better watchout, I might have to ask you for your phone number"...

THAT FAST.

We had talked for a grand total of about a minute, and she was already joking around about asking me for my number.

Keep in mind, this is a TGIF waitress (and a cute one, at that). She works in an environment where hundreds of guys try to pick up on her, one after the other...

Now, as you can imagine, this kind of thing happens most of the time when I interact with waitresses, etc in this manner. I've found that it's no harder to get a waitress to give you her email/number than it is to get any other girl's info, by the way.

What's the secret?

Being playful, fun, different, Cocky & Funny, and not acting like a Wuss who wants to call her 100 times a day and tell her how pretty she is.

Now I'd like to address your question...

"...SOMETIMES when I throw out a cocky+funny response, they will say "Oh whatever!" or roll their eyes or say you're mean, get mad, or something like that and walk away. This happens not often but on rare occasions. These women are probably uptight anyways and not worth getting to know. When they say "whatever" or "You're so mean" and they're laughing or smiling, and they still keep talking to me, then I know it's working. Also, when you say something like: "...Oh quit lying, you were just walking near me because you want me" and they say "No, I don't want you" or "NoI wasn't, I was just doing _ _ _ _ _" in a semi-serious tone, how do you respond to that to keep the cocky+funny going? In other words, what do you do when they act as if they ARENT picking you up?..."

What I'm about to tell you is sometimes hard for guys to accept, so get ready.

SOME PEOPLE DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.

No, really.

My guess is that something like 60%-80% of the population just plain aren't very interesting or fun to talk to.

Some people are actually ARROGANT about their lack of a sense of humor.

These are my personal favorites.

I remember meeting a girl at a bar a couple of years ago.

I was ordering a drink, and she bumped into me.

I turned and said, "Don't touch me!"

She just looked at me with a "You're a jerk" look, and leaned away from me.

I smiled at her and said, "It was a joke, it's OK" (with kind of a slightly sarcastic "you didn't get it" tone of voice).

She said something like, "Well, it wasn't funny. You seem like an arrogant jerk."

LOL!

I couldn't help myself... I burst into laughter.

She, of course, got even more annoyed.

Now, most guys would have gotten all upset, thought that they must have done something majorly wrong, and tried to apologize and get the woman to like them.

I immediately recognized this girl as a person who just plain doesn't have a sharp sense of humor, and who is probably a HUGE pain in the ass to deal with in real life... so I laughed at her.

You'll notice that a lot of guys write in to me with questions like, "I'm dating four women right now, and they're all wonderful, but there's this ONE girl that I just can't get... how do I make the one that isn't interested LIKE me?"

This is a curious thing.

We humans always want the approval of the person who doesn't want to give it to us.

Instead of just walking away and saying, "your loss," we often chase after them, begging and pleading for their approval... and thinking that we must have done something wrong.

Remember, some people actually ENJOY making other people feel bad. Some women actually ENJOY rejecting men. It gives them a feeling of power.

There are MANY women who will spend all week shopping, two hours putting on their clothing and makeup (and doing their hair), just to go out and get attention from men... so they can reject those men, and complain to their friends about what"losers" and "pigs" men are, and how they hate it when men look at them like a "piece of meat."

Go figure.

Let me give you a little "tough love."

Part of growing up, becoming a REAL MAN, and getting this area of your life handled is realizing that not all women are nice people, and not letting those that aren't nice AFFECT YOU.

You can reach a point in your life where your attitude should become "I do not give any one permission to take my joy, happiness, and good mood away from me."

When you get to this point, then IT DOESN'T MATTER if a woman doesn't respond positively to your approach.

It doesn't matter if she rejects you.
It doesn't matter if she doesn't have a sense of humor.

None of this matters when you don't give any one permission to TAKE YOUR JOY AWAY FROM YOU.

My advice: Learn to walk away. Learn to blow it off. Learn how to IMMEDIATELY disconnect and detach from these types of situations, and NOT let them affect you.

The "numbers game" goes both ways.

If you start meeting a lot of women, you will, by nature of meeting a LOT of women, meet quite a few that don't have a sense of humor, aren't friendly, aren't available, etc.

You need to learn the skill of keeping your power and joy for yourself, and NEVER giving it to someone you don't even know.

Make a decision right now that your joy is your own, and that you'll never allow another person to take it away from you.

Dude, someone give me a hug.

The Olympic Snatch

2009-03-23T08:48:00.001-07:00

The snatch is one of the two current Olympic Weightlifting events (the other being the clean and jerk). The essence of the event is to lift a barbell from the platform to locked arms overhead in a smooth continuous movement. The barbell is pulled as high as the lifter can manage (typically to mid chest height) (the pull) at which point the barbell is flipped overhead. With relatively light weights (as in the "power snatch") locking of the arms may not require rebending the knees. However, as performed in contests, the weight is always heavy enough to demand that the lifter receive the bar in a squatting position, while at the same time flipping the weight so it moves in an arc directly overhead to locked arms (the quick drop). When the lifter is secure in this position, he rises (overhead squat), completing the lift.

The lift requires not only great strength but also a high degree of shoulder flexibility, excellent balance, and speed.

It is executed in a single movement. However, for coaching purposes, it is divided into two phases.

Approach the bar and with back straight, crouch low and grasp the bar with it positioned over the balls of your feet. Legs should be bent with the buttocks close to the heels. Any kind of grip may be used, however it is standard to use a wide grip, with the hands near the ends of bar. A hook grip is normally used in competition. The chest should be puffed out and the shoulders slightly forward of the bar.
Begin lifting. The hips, shoulders and bar should move at the same pace. Push from the toes and slowly transition the weight into the mid-foot as you lift. The angle of the torso relative to the ground should remain constant.
Keep the bar close to your legs as you lift - this ensures proper alignment of the body. The bar should brush your legs a little on the way up.
When the weight is at mid-thigh, accelerate the bar upward by powerfully extending the knees and hips ( and to some degree the ankles) until the body is fully erect. At the same time, shrug the shoulders. This part of the lift is known as the 'scoop' or 'second pull'. Often, a lifter will bend the knees slightly and bring their torso to vertical before the second pull. This is called the 'double knee bend' style of lifting.
At the apex of the bar's height, pull your body underneath the bar, catching it with locked arms overhead while squatting. This part of the motion requires a developed sense of timing and coordination, and is the crux of the entire lift.
Lock your arms with the weight overhead and stand up from the squat position.

This lift requires coordination, torso (core) stability, and explosive power of the legs to generate the upward momentum required to snatch hundreds of pounds overhead. Tremendous speed is required to get underneath the bar after the second pull.

TIPS:

Breathing is very important. Breath deeply a few seconds before the lift. It adds oxygen to the system and helps reduce mind disconcerting stress. Do not hyperventilate or you will become dizzy and lose all important balance. As you lift, exhale strongly, then explosively as you perform the 'drop under'. As you squat, inhale strongly, then, again, exhale explosively as you drive into an upright position. The best way to keep that solid finish and balance is to be certain both sides of the body are doing the same amount of work and that you focus directly forward toward the neutral visual point you began with. Never, never hold your breath. Success in this lift is fluidity, speed and balance, not brute strength. This, to me, is the most beautiful of the two lifts and reveals the skill and talent of the lifter.

More Tips:

The key to this lift is in the quick "flip" when the bar reaches shoulder height. A fast lifter who can get under the bar is in good position to lift the weight.
Make sure you feel comfortable before you lift. That's half the battle.
This is a very difficult procedure, so be sure to use the proper technique.
Attempt this lift only with proper supervision.
Lift only weights that are within your capabilities.

Lower Abdominal Myth and Spot Reduction Myth

2009-03-22T06:13:00.000-07:00

Lower Abdominal Myth.

It is widely believed the lower abs are exercised during the leg raise or other hip flexor exercises. However, it can be misleading to judge the mechanics of an exercise based on localized muscular fatigue.

The primary muscle used in hip flexion is actually the Iliopsoas one of many hip flexors. The Iliopsoas, particularly the Psoas portion, happens to lie deep below the lower portion of the Rectus Abdominous. During the leg raise, the entire abdominal musculature isometrically contracts (contracts with no significant movement) to:

Posture the spine and pelvis

- Supports the weight of the lower body so the lumbar spine does not hyperextend excessively
-Maintains optimal biomechanics of the Iliopsoas
-Hips are kept from prematurely flexing if the lumbar spine and pelvis does not hyperextend excessively
-Iliopsoas can contract more forcefully in a relatively slight stretched position
-Bent knee (and hip) sit-ups actually place Iliopsoas at a mechanical disadvantage

Counteracts Iliopsoas's pull on spine

-Many people with weak abdominal muscles are not able to perform hip flexor exercises without acute lower back pain or discomfort

The combination of the local muscular fatigue, or a burning sensation from the isometrically contracted abdominal muscles, and from the working hip flexors produces fatigue in the pelvis area which we mistakenly interpret as the lower portion of the Rectus Abdominous being exercised. In movements where the Rectus Abdominous does Isotonically contract (contracts with movement), it flexes the spine by contracting the entire muscle from origin to insertion. The spine is not significantly flexed during the leg raise. Incidentally, both the spine and hip flexes during the full range op motion Sit Up and Leg Hip Raise.

Spot Reduction Myth

Contrary to what the infomercials suggest there is no such thing as spot reduction. Fat is lost throughout the body in a pattern dependent upon genetics, sex (hormones), and age. Overall body fat must be reduced to lose fat in any particular area. Although fat is lost or gained throughout the body it seems the first area to get fat, or the last area to become lean, is the midsection (in men and some women, especially after menopause) and hips and thighs (in women and few men). Sit-ups, crunches, leg-hip raises, leg raises, hip adduction, hip abduction, etc. will only exercise the muscles under the fat.

Washboard Abs

2008-11-02T04:37:00.000-08:00

Having a flat stomach or more commonly, "washboard abs" is not just accomplished by working out daily, it has to become an all-encompassing lifestyle. The key components are healthy diet, cardiovascular training, and abdominal exercises. If a movie star stomach is your goal, you must realize that to achieve your goal you have to first concentrate on what you eat, not how many situps you do in a day.

Of course, as with any fitness and health goal - nutrition and exercise are always the main ingredient.

1) Healthy Diet

The most important factor in acquiring washboard abs is eating a healthy diet. Here is a list of recommended healthy ways to help you lose a few inches:

- Drink at least three liters of water per day (100 oz)
- Eat five servings of vegetables and fruits per day
- Eliminate fried foods and cheese
- Eliminate processed sugar (for example: sodas, cookies, candy)
- Eliminate fatty red meat
- only lean red meats (1-2 times weekly)

Diets like the Atkins and other high protein diets may help at first but to get rid of that last 10-15 pounds, it is recommended to lower calories to a range of 1500-2000 calories a day BUT you must exercise rigorously - both with abdominal exercises and cardio work.

2) Cardiovascular Exercise

Washboard abs, getting lean, and losing weight are all tied into a consistent cardiovascular workout program. You should do 30-45 minutes of activities like walking, running, biking, or swimming daily 4-5 times per week. It takes about four weeks before you start to see the physical benefits or your diet and exercise program.

You will see almost immediate results in your energy level, overall mental alertness when exercising daily. Start off slowly if you have not trained with much intensity in the past several years. A good way to get started is to walk or run with the following six weeks program:

Week #1 - Walk/run - 1 mile a day for 5 days a week
Week #2 - Walk/run - 2 miles a day for 5 days a week
Week #3 - Non-impact week - bike or swim for 20-30 minutes a day
Week #4 - Walk/run - 2 miles a day for 5 days a week
Week #5 - Walk/run - 3 miles a day for 4-5 days a week
Week #6 - Walk/run - 4 miles a day for 4-5 days a week

Note: week #3 is non-impact due to high number of injuries that occur to legs (knees, shins, feet, hips) during the third week of beginning a walking or running program.

3) The One Simple Exercise

The Ten-second Crunch is probably one of the best beginning exercises for firming up the belly. Simply lie on your back and lift your shoulder blades off the floor and hold for ten seconds. Repeat this at least for ten repetitions. Try repeating the 10 seconds crunch for 10 repetitions morning and night for starters. Also, stretch and flex your lower back for a few minutes after each set in order to balance the muscles that support your torso. However, a variety of abdominal exercises will help build the muscles under the fat.

Now - lose the fat by watching your diet and cardio vascular exercise and you will soon see the muscles!

Sample ab exercises are the following:

Hanging Knee-ups
Bring your knees as high as you can as shown.

Advanced Crunch - (Legs up)
Lie on your back with your feet straight in the air. Keep your legs straight up in the air for the advanced crunches. Cross your hands over your chest and bring your elbows to your knees by flexing your stomach. (Do not do if you have previous lower back injury - place feet on the floor)

Reverse Crunch
In the same position as the regular crunch, lift your knees and butt toward your elbows. Leave your head and upper body flat on the ground. Only move your legs and butt. (Do not do if you have previous lower back injury)

Double Crunch
Add the regular and reverse crunch together in one motion...You will feel this one twice as fast...

Right Elbow to Left Knee
Cross your left leg over your right leg. Flex your stomach and twist to bring your right elbow to your left knee.

Left Elbow to Right Knee
Same as above just switch sides. Cross your right leg over your leg. Flex your stomach and twist to bring your left elbow to your right knee.

Hip Rollers
This exercise will help you build your abs, back and hips to help with long ocean swims and balance out the hip flexors exercises. Twist to both sides keeping your shoulders on the floor and stay in the bent knee position when rotating left and right.

Note: Anytime you work your abs, you should also exercise your lower back to build balance in your torso.

Lower Back Exercise(Back Extentions)
Lie on your stomach with your arms extended over your head. Lift your right arm and your left leg off the ground at the same time and repeat for specified number of repetitions. Switch arms/legs and repeat.

Lower Back Exercise - Swimmers
Lie on your stomach and lift your feet and knees off the floor by flutter kicking repeatedly as if you were swimming freestyle.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Advanced Abdominal Exercises: Do not do if you are a beginner! These exercises are not healthy for weak or injured backs. If you cannot do the above swimmer exercises for 1:00 - do not attempt these exercises.

Situps
Lie on your back with your arms crossed over your chest, keeping your knees slightly bent. Raise your upper body off the floor by contracting your abdominal muscles. Touch your elbows to your thighs and repeat.

Half Situps
With your hands on your hips, lift your torso off the ground higher than a crunch but not as high as a full situp. Your middle/lower back will be on the floor still at the up position.

Flutterkicks
Place your hands under your hips. Lift your legs 6 inches off the floor and begin walking, raising each leg approximately 36 inches off the ground. Keep your legs straight and moving. This is a four count exercise.

Leg Levers
Lift your feet 6 inches off the floor. Raising both legs approximately 36 inches off the ground, keep your legs straight and off the floor until specified number of repetitions are complete.

Scissors
Lay on your back. Lift your feet 6 inches off the floor. Open and close both legs approximately 36 inches apart, keep your legs straight and off the floor until specified number of repetitions are complete.

Atomic Situps
Lift your feet 6 inches off the floor as if you were doing a leg lever. Pull your knees toward your chest while simultaneously lifting your upper body off the floor. This is a mix between the situp and the leg lever.

Squats

2008-10-26T05:59:00.000-07:00

Simply put, squats are the most difficult, intimidating and painful exercise you could possibly have in your arsenal. They require massive amounts of discipline and willpower to perform correctly. After you have performed a set of squats to failure, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about! They are also a challenging exercise to master from a technical standpoint.

All this aside, they are also the most productive. Squats have packed more muscle onto skinny frames than any other lift out there. Because of the degree of difficulty, squats also force your body to release higher amounts of important anabolic hormones, such as testosterone and growth hormone, thus resulting in total body muscle growth. In addition, squats also cause what is known as a "spillover effect": a strength gain in almost all of your other exercises. When I started squatting to failure, my bench press increased by 20 pounds! If you're looking for serious muscle gains and you don't already squat, you'd better get started. Quite simply, they really, really work.

Unfortunately, many people have yet to experience the benefits of heavy squatting. Why? It seems that people will come up with just about any excuse they possibly can in order to steer clear form the squat rack. How many times have you heard the all too common "They're too hard on my knees", or "I heard they stunt your growth." What do I say to that? Nonsense! With the exception of a very small population of lifters, everyone can squat! The main reason that the squat rack seems to collect dust faster than any other piece of equipment in the gym is simply due to the amount of intensity one must generate in order to squat effectively. In addition to that, many myths have come up over the years that have convinced people to steer clear of this exercise. Let's take a look at these myths and clear them up once and for all.

#1: "Squatting will ruin your knees"

Just as the muscle tissue in your body strengthens when exposed to stress, the tendons, ligaments and other connective tissues in your body will also thicken in response to weightlifting. Because of this, heavy squatting can only increase knee strength. By strengthening the supporting muscles around the knee, you will also end up with much greater knee stability and strength. Knee problems when squatting will only occur through improper form, namely relaxing in the bottom position. When you relax the knee joint, it separates slightly, placing it in a compromising position. The solution? Don't relax in the bottom position! It's that simple. Keep everything tight and flexed and you'll have no problems.

#2: "Squatting is dangerous to the spine"

Again, weightlifting will only strengthen ligaments and connective tissues. If you like, you can use a weight belt when performing heavy, low rep sets, but otherwise you won't need it. Some lifters find squatting uncomfortable to the cervical spine (your neck) because of the bar resting there. Most lifters get used to it, but if you find it to be a big problem you can simply place a towel or pad underneath the bar.

#3: "Squats are dangerous to the heart"

Many weightlifting exercises restrict blood flow due to long periods of muscular contraction. Elevated blood pressure will result from this, but it is only temporary and isn't dangerous. The heart, just like all other muscles of the body, will adapt to the stress that is placed upon it. Therefore, squatting will help to strengthen the cardiovascular system. However, just to remain on the safe side, those with coronary diseases may want to consult a physician before beginning any kind of weight training program.

#4: "Squats will decrease your speed"

It is a well known and accepted fact by exercise physicists that the stronger a muscle is, the faster it will contract and the more force it can apply off the ground. Therefore, speed can only be increased through the use of squatting. I was a 100 metre sprinter in high school, and when I incorporated heavy squats into my weightlifting routine I was able to cut a full second off my time.

Well, so much for those myths!

The important thing to remember is that any negative consequences brought on by squatting are the result of improper technique and not the exercise itself. Squatting is safe and hugely effective. So if you're one of those people who fears the squat, quit being a wimp! Gather some courage and drag your ass over to the squat rack. Well, what do you say? Do you want to get huge? I mean really, really huge? Then continue reading and be prepared for some mind-blowing gains.

Still with me?

Awesome; let's learn the proper technique.

-Proper Squatting Technique-

For safety reasons you should always perform your squats in a power rack or cage. This way you can adjust the height at which you clear the bar, and you can drop the bar on the safety pins if you need to bail. The safety pins should be set at just below the depth you are squatting and the J Hooks should be set at about the level of your nipples.

At all times during the squat your head should be pulled back, your chest raised and you should have a slight arch in your lower back. You should always be looking straight ahead, and at no time should you be leaning too far forward, or be looking up or down.

Step up to the bar, placing your hands at about the same width as a bench press. Before clearing the bar, make sure it is placed evenly along your traps. The bar should rest on the lower portion of your traps and across your rear delts. It should almost feel as if the bar is going to roll off your back. Now that you have cleared the bar, take only as many steps back as necessary. Most squat injuries occur when backing up, so make sure that you only back up as far as you need to. Your feet should be placed about shoulder width apart or slightly wider, and they should point out at a 45-degree angle.

Take a big, deep breath, and make your descent. You should not lower yourself straight down, but rather as if you were sitting in a chair behind you. At all times your knee must remain in line with your feet, and they should never bow in. Lower yourself until your thighs are at least parallel to the ground. If in doubt, go lower!

As soon as you have reached the bottom position, rise up immediately. Do not relax in the bottom position! Drive up with your heels and straighten your back as quickly as possible.
Once you are in the upright position again, take another deep breath, and continue the lift until you have completed the desired number of reps.

How many reps should you perform? It depends. There are many who say that 20 rep squats are the most beneficial. Others say 12-15. Some people might use 6-8. It all depends on the person. I personally perform 5-7 reps. Experiment and see what works best for you!

Deadlift

2008-10-26T05:30:00.000-07:00

There was a day when bodybuilders were characterized by thick massive torsos, tumbling traps, and sweeping lats that hung like boxcar doors from broad-beamed shoulders. All this came about from slapping as many iron plates as possible onto a barbell and dead lifting it off the ground in whatever manner it took to get the weight up.

The deadlift will work you from finger to neck to toe. It is a raw, basic power movement and will literally stress every single muscle in your entire body to some degree. The main areas of stimulation are the back (lower and upper) and thighs, but once you start deadlifting on a consistent basis you’ll see gains just about everywhere. The high intensity nature of this basic lift will also force your body to secrete higher amounts of powerful anabolic substances such as testosterone and growth hormone. This causes what is known as a "spill over effect", and will result in new, total body size and strength gains. For example, after a few weeks of heavy deadlifting you should notice that your other lifts, such as the bench press and barbell row, will suddenly increase.

The deadlift is the oldest of all weight training exercises and is one of the most effective exercises for overall body development. Deadlifts are not pretty and neither are the men who hoisted them, but this movement made their physiques the biggest, thickest, and strongest in the world.
The deadlift is a compound movement that works all of the major muscles in the body, with most of emphasis on the traps, spinal erectors, hips, glutes, and hamstrings. The remaining muscles are involved in stability control.

It is the purest single test of strength because it is one of the few lifts where you lift a dead weight off the ground. In most other lifts the weight changes direction or starts from the top position and you can use reverseal strength and momentum to rebound and assist in lifting the weight, as in the squat and bench press.

The Reality Of Strength Training Exercise.

2008-10-26T05:27:00.000-07:00

The Reality Of Strength Training Exercise.

When strength training became a popular way of athletic preparation back in the 50's and 60's, everyone was rushing to find the "best" way to train. Back in these early days, very little attention was given to the "scientific" aspect of the sport. Your average lifter would train using basic lifts, receive proper nutrition from a variety of foods and give their bodies time to rest and recuperate. It was that simple. No complicated supplements, special "lifting techniques" or masses of ineffective information. Just basic, sensible lifting.

When the "fitness boom" of the 70's hit, people began questioning these methods and demanded scientific evidence to support these training theories. Companies realized the potential to make a profit and began flooding the strength training world with ineffective supplements and equipment. If I had a dime for every "break through fitness program" I've seen, I'd be rich.

Over the years, strength training theories have actually gone downhill. Hard, persistent and dedicated work in the weightroom has been overtaken by a mass of miracle weight-gain pills and bogus bodybuilding programs. People always seem to be looking for an easier route to attaining a muscular build.

The reality of it all is that attaining an "in-shape" and strong physique is not purely a matter of science. The fact of the matter is that the achievement of this ultimate goal is not complex. That's not saying it's easy, but it really isn't as complicated as most of the "experts" make it out to be. Successful lifters must have tremendous focus and tolerance for pain. They must persevere in all situations and continually place their bodies under greater stress in order to better their physiques. They must eat the right foods and avoid the wrong foods and ensure that their bodies are receiving adequate rest. I have great respect for each and every individual out there who is able to continually and systematically follow these guidelines on their quest to mind-blowing muscle mass and strength. However, far too often we see serious lifters over-analyzing every situation in the weightroom; Extremely simple things that will do little to nothing in bettering their current lifting approach.

The bottom line is to provide your body with a stimulus for growth using basic compound lifts, feed your body by consuming the proper nutrients, and give your muscles time to rest and recuperate. If you have these three elements down, there really isn't a whole lot more you can do to increase the effectiveness of your lifting regiment.

So why is it that every time I go to the gym I see the same misinformed people, week in and week out, slaving away on endless sets of concentration curls and tricep kickbacks? It makes me cringe when I see some of the ridiculous techniques these "lifters" are using. What you put in is what you get out, and submaximal intensities will yield submaximal results. The tougher the lift is, the better your body will respond. The whole idea behind weightlifting is to yield an adaptive response from the musculature, meaning the body must believe it is in life threatening danger. I don't care what anyone says, heavy squats, deadlifts, bench presses, overhead presses, rows and chins are the toughest lifts and without a question the most effective. Don't get me wrong, isolation lifts can have their spot in a successful routine, but certainly not in place of these basic compound lifts.

In the end, strength training is definitely more "art" than "science". I don't know everything about everything, but I'm certain of what I'm certain of, and I'm certain that the basic principles of gaining size and strength that were first put forth in the 1950's still hold true to this very day. Stop making it more complicated than it has to be! Get into the squat rack and squat! Load up the bar and deadlift! Yes, these are the toughest lifts, and that is exactly why you should be doing them! Building muscle and gaining strength is simple! Do you want to get big and strong? Then forget about all of the useless theories people seem to constantly put forth. Stop over-analyzing every situation. Stop wasting your time on useless debates about the latest breakthrough training principles. Go to the gym and train!

"There is no secret routine, there is no magical number of reps and sets. What there is, is confidence, belief, hard work on a consistent basis, and a desire to succeed."
- Steve Justa -

How does Romance apply to attraction?

2008-07-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

You've probably noticed that I don't talk about the idea of "romance" very often.

There's a good reason for this.

I think that most guys use romance incompletely the wrong way, and in the process screw up their chances with the woman that they are interested in.

I'm going to take some time here to talk about my personal perspective on romance, how it is misused, and how to use it to really make a woman feel attracted to you.

Most guys make one of two main mistakes when trying to be "romantic":

1) They try to use romance to CREATE attraction.

2) They use TOO MUCH romance, thinking that more must be better.

Let me ask you this... What does romance mean to you?

I'm serious. Think about it for a minute.

Does romance mean gifts and flower?

Does it mean fancy dinners?

Does it mean candles and soft music?

To me, romance is about showing a softer side of yourself... a more thoughtful side... in a way that is meant to INCREASE the woman's attraction for you.

Like I just mentioned, most guys either try to use romance to CREATE attraction, or they do too many things in an attempt to "be romantic", and the effect is lost.

Here's a quiz:

In general, would a woman think you were more romantic if you:

1) Brought her red roses every time you saw her.

2) Brought her one flower the fourth time you saw her, but it was her favorite flower, in her favorite color.

...???

Here's another one...

In general, would a woman think you were more romantic if you:

1) Took her to a fancy dinner every time you saw her.

2) Didn't take her to dinner, but one night cooked her a favorite dish that your mom taught you and told her the story of how it came to be a family favorite?

Do you see where I'm going with these examples?

"Romance" is all about the context of the situation. In other words, little things that are thoughtful, used once in awhile will make FAR more of an impact than trying to do everything you possibly can all the time.

Have you ever seen a T. V. show or movie with a girl holding a flower, pulling off each petal one at a time and saying, "He loves me, he loves me not"?

This is a famous cliche...

What's going on here? And why is it now such a famous idea that it is almost universally known?

Because it strikes a chord inside of women everywhere! Every woman can relate to the idea of thinking about a man and wondering if he's thinking about her.

Pulling petals off of a flower and saying, "He loves me, he loves me not", is just another way of saying, "I can't stop thinking about this guy and I'm going to keep thinking about him until I know how he feels."

As you know, if you've read most of my older post I think that it's important toCREATE this kind of situation as much as humanly possible.

Now, here's where romance fits into the puzzle... If you're doing things that you consider to be "romantic" all the time, then she has nothing to wonder about... nothing to think about... there is no challenge or mystery at all.

On the other hand, if you use romance more carefully and keep her on the edge of her seat, so to speak, then a small romantic gesture will cause her to feel GREAT feelings of attraction inside...and cause her to work even harder to get and keep your attention - BECAUSE SHE'LL TRY HARDER TO GET MORE OUT OF THIS ROMANTIC SIDE OF YOU!

So what are some things you can do, that women see as romantic, without going overboard?

Well, if you want to do the typical things like flowers, gifts, music, poetry, etc. then do as I said earlier: Use them VERY infrequently. Tease her, bust on her, treat her like a bratty little sister most of the time, then out of nowhere do something thoughtful. But make sure to stay cool when the emotional reaction comes!

She's probably going to be very happy and want to know "where that came from." Just tell her that you were thinking about her and move on to the next topic. Don't get all mushy, dude.

By the way, if you've gone out with a woman 47 times, and you don't know if she likes you, and you're now thinking, "Oh, hey... great idea! I'll buy her a flower and she'll feel attracted to me..." then get a new idea.

Romance isn't a way to make a woman feel attracted to you.

Romance is a way to AMPLIFY attraction that is already happening.

Read that last part again... DON'T TRY TO MAKE A WOMAN FEEL ATTRACTED TO YOU WITH ROMANCE!

Attraction is created by factors other than gifts, dinners, flowers, etc.

If she's not feeling attracted to you, then showing her that you're attracted to her probably isn't going to change it... in fact, it may just push her away.

I know, I know... you once heard about a guy who pursued a woman for 9 years until she finally gave in and married him. Well, that might work, but I don't have 9 years (unless it's Cindy Crawford... yeah, I know she's like 50, but she's STILL hot).

Earlier I mentioned a couple of great ideas. You can cook her a special meal that has meaning... and tell the story behind it. Stories are romantic, especially if the story contains a love story.

And small gifts can be romantic as well (I don't like big gifts because they change the dynamic of the relationship and can create all kinds of feelings that it's a trade of affection for money, etc.).

If you pay attention, a woman will mention something that she really likes. It could be a kind of flower, a kind of music, an author, etc. If you want to be romantic (after you know that she's attracted to you) you can get something thoughtful then write a card that says, "I was thinking about you, and I found this... thought you would like it. Muakx."

Use romance as the spice, and not the main dish. Use it to amplify, not as your main strategy.

Romance combined with the techniques that I teach is a VERY powerful combination.

QUICK NOTE: One of the most "romantic" things you can possibly do is learn how to communicate with women on a "sexual" level. There's nothing as powerful as using subtle communication to put a woman into a VERY romantic mood.

HOW TO CREATE A SETTING THAT AUTOMATICALLY CREATES AND AMPLIFIES ATTRACTION...

We just talked about how most guys either have no clue about romance, or they use it too much...which screws up everything for them.

There is one aspect of romance that I have found very useful to know more about and use. It's the concept of how to create a SETTING that will create more of a feeling of attraction inside of the woman that you are with.

WARNING: What I'm about to share with you is not a magic bullet. It's no substitute for a cocky, funny personality and great skills. Using this alone will not make you successful with women.

With that said... I've found that there are a few things you can do in your immediate environment to "accelerate the mood", so to speak,when you are with a woman.

Women have very active senses... usually much more so than men.

If you have already sparked the attraction between you and her, introducing certain sensory stimulus will usually increase the attraction, and can lead to a more, shall we say "physical" demonstration of that attraction.

OK, let's say that you've had a fun night out with your girl and you're back at your place.

And then you use the Kiss Test, which involves alot about going forward and pulling back while kissing during the right moments.

Well, most guys make the HUGE mistake of trying to grope the poor girl... which, of course leads to the inevitable "I think that we're moving a little fast. Let's take things slower."(Translation: "None for you tonight, and if you try that again, none for you anytime in the next 10 dates.")

Instead, try this:

After that first kiss, pull back and look into her eyes and say, "Yum." Then stand up and say,"Let me see if I can do something about this setting" in a fun, smooth, kind-of suspenseful tone of voice.

Here's the recipe:

1) A few candles

2) Some incense

3) A glass of wine (if you both drink)

4) Some Air Supply on low

I know it sounds simple, but let me explain the recipe now that you know the ingredients.

Do the 2 steps forward and then 1 step back comcept. Mix up these ingredients with that concept... and VIOLA! More and MORE AND MORE attraction.

You probably don't need to learn how to light candles, open wine, and play music. If you do, refer to the instructions that come with the products.

I personally like to introduce these as great ways to interrupt the kissing (and whatever else is going on).

Try this:

1) Kiss Kiss

2) "Let me see if I can do something about this setting"

3) Light candles and incense, lower lighting

4) Kiss Kiss

5) Open wine and put on Air Supply

6) Kiss Kiss

7) Watch out... because something good is about to happen.

Here's what's going on in her mind:

"Oh, we're kissing. I'd better not let this go too far."

"What? Why did he stop kissing me? Oh, candles. I love candles..."

"Wow, this is turning into a make-out session, maybe I'd better put on the brakes."

"What? Why did he stop again?"

"Ohhh, I LOVE 'Air Supply'. They are just fantastic. And this wine is nice. Hmm, I wonder why he isn't trying to jump my bones. Maybe he doesn't think I'm a good kisser. Maybe he changed his mind. Well I'm not going to let that happen. I'll show him..."

Do you get it?

By simultaneously creating tension while making the setting more and more 'romantic', you will stir up her ATTRACTION towards you and make her be the one who ultimately gets so worked up that she can't help but have you.

Nice.

Of course there are many other things you can do that are romantic. Like sprinkling rose petals on the bed, pulling out some chocolate, etc. . .

It's really up to you.

The key is to use these things sparingly, and use them with the concepts that you've already learned to AMPLIFY THE ATTRACTION that you've already created with your COMMUNICATION.

So remember, use these things with women who are ALREADY feeling the attraction, not to create it!

Why do women feel attraction for jerks?

2008-07-03T06:43:00.000-07:00

Why do women feel attracted to jerks?

Now I realized that JERKS attract hot women.

But why?

Selfish behavior, as unhealthy as this might sound, often makes women feel attracted to you.

Sarcasm, ball busting, playing hard to get and all kinds of other "illogical" things really do work when it comes to attracting women.

But, then there is this dilemma...

I love the idea of being successful with women but, I HATE the idea of mistreating people, being mean to them, lying and being misleading, etc.

Deep down, I wanted to be a good guy.

I decided that there MUST be a way to make this work, and to attract women without being ABUSIVE.

The good news is that THERE IS a way.

But, it requires that you put aside your current ideas for just long enough to entertain some new ones.

First, let me say that I believe I've found a way to take the things that JERKS do to attract women and use them WITHOUT THE ABUSE. When you learn to do this, you can really have the best of both worlds... you can be nice to women on your own terms, and give them what they REALLY want, and what REALLY attracts them.

So, WHY DO WOMEN BECOME ATTRACTED TO JERKS?

The short answer is that they don't CHOOSE it, it's something that just HAPPENS.

ATTRACTION ISN'T A CHOICE.

It's an emotional response to certain things.

Women don't CHOOSE to feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for jerks any more than YOU choose to feel the emotion called ATTRACTION for young, beautiful, firm and tight women.

Nature has preprogrammed MEN with a mechanism that works like this:

SEE HOT WOMEN ---> FEEL ATTRACTION

Well, women have a similar mechanism. But I think that the female version is MORE COMPLEX.

Yes, women do feel attraction for extremely handsome men... but they feel a MUCH STRONGER ATTRACTION for certain PERSONALITY TRAITS and BEHAVIORS than they do for physical looks alone.

So, again the short answer is that it's just something that "happens" inside of a women.

She doesn't "choose" it.

So, what is it about the "jerk" that creates this powerful, uncontrollable ATTRACTION inside of women?

Let me answer first by telling you what IT'S NOT:

It's NOT the abuse (not usually anyway). I don't believe that women are attracted to that abusive, mean, negative part of the "jerk personality".

I think that jerks JUST HAPPEN to also possess several ATTRACTIVE qualities that are SO POWERFUL that they literally make women BLIND to the abuse... women will rationalize and excuse the abusive behavior because they are so attracted to these other qualities.

Here's a PARTIAL list of what creates that ATTRACTION:

- Unpredictable

- Uncontrollable

- Challenging

- Dominant

Of course, there are many more, but this will get us started for this discussion.

The qualities I've listed above, when presented correctly, trigger the natural "attraction mechanism" inside of women.

Jerks have taken natural qualities that are ATTRACTIVE to women a little "too far".

But because they're still there, the qualities trigger the attraction anyway.

So, what does this mean to you?

Well, the most important thing is that it means you can still be a good guy AND attract women at the same time.

You're probably going to have to learn how to flirt in a different way, become a little more comfortable being challenging to women, etc. But, in the end, you'll find that this will get you what you want and still allow you to treat women well... all on your own terms.

It also means that instead of being the guy who women talk to about their relationship problems and how their mean jerk boyfriend is being abusive again... you can be the guy who they're dating and sleeping with!

Yes!

Now, I'd like you to take time to think about what I've said here.

Think about how you can cultivate the four qualities that I've mentioned above into your personality.

See if you can be a little less predictable.

Don't let outside events or women control you.

Be more of a challenge.

Stop being submissive... and get in touch with that side of you that is more dominant (I said"dominant", not "domineering").

This will give you a GREAT head start.

Risking it with girls

2008-06-23T17:21:00.000-07:00

***QUESTION***

Read your stuff...interesting. Makes a lot of sense to appear different then all the others. I have one question, however. This C&F stuff (can I call it "friendly mocking"?) really only works on women who are sure of themselves and who will not take your jokes to the heart. But how many of those are in the world? I mean, with today's"perfect" pop-stars most women have at least some insecurities. So, how can you use this technique and not accidentally hit a weak spot? Is there a neutral "friendly mocking" approach? =p

J Brooklyn

>>>MY COMMENTS:

I think you're hitting on an important point here.

I think that a lot of guys "secretly" want to figure out a way to meet women without RISKING anything.

This is probably why personal ads and online dating web sites are so popular.

The problem with not wanting to RISK anything is that it creates a mindset that leads to being AVERAGE.

And "average" doesn't create ATTRACTION.

There is this specific kind of humor that many people who are at the top of their game call "Cocky & Funny".

One of the purposes of the Cocky & Funny technique is to clearly demonstrate that you are NOT intimidated by a woman, and to INSTANTLY communicate that you are DIFFERENT from other men.

You'd like to know the magic way to "not accidentally hit a weak spot"...

But guess what?

Accidents happen.

Risk is part of life.

Don't worry so much about hitting a "weak spot"while you're teasing or busting on a woman... just concern yourself with making sure you're being FUNNY while you're doing it.

If you meet a woman who is so sensitive that she can't take a joke, or you "accidentally" overdo it, don't worry about it. No biggie.

She's probably either too uptight or emotionally fragile for you to have a good time with anyway.

If you want to make a cake, you have to break a few eggs, man.

Remember, your objective isn't to be MEAN towomen, or to hurt them... your objective is to usea specific type of humor to create ATTRACTION.

And give up this "neutral" idea. Neutral is BORING. And Boring is NOT the way to create ATTRACTION.

It's always good to pick a SIDE. . .

Ever been tested by a women?

2008-06-23T16:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever called a woman on the phone to
set up a date and she says: "Friday night? Sure.
Call me on Friday and we can talk about it..."?

Or, have you ever had a woman ask you if you're
"a player?"

Or, have you ever had a woman challenge you
about something ridiculous?

Or, have you ever had a woman call you five
minutes before a date and cancel?

Or, have you ever had a woman pout and get
upset because she didn't get her way?

Or, have you ever asked a woman for her number
and she says, "Why don't you give me your number
and I'll call YOU?"

Well guess what... you were being TESTED.
All of these are examples of common things
women do to "test" men.

On some level, the woman you were dealing with
was testing to see how much control she had in the
relationship... and how STRONG you were.

The paradox of "testing" is that if you COMPLY
with what a woman SEEMS to want, you will usually
FAIL the test.

Hey, I never said that women made sense... lol.

I was reading a great book recently called "The
Way Of The Superior Man", and inside the author
points out that a woman will often ask a man for
something DIRECTLY... but if he DOES what she
asks, she will be disappointed and ANGRY with him.
Ever been there?

So what's with this testing stuff, anyway?
Well, the answer is fascinating.

And before I tell you about why women TEST you,
I want to mention that there's a LOT more going on
"behind the scenes" when it comes to female
psychology and behavior.

I believe that if you can
learn how to understand this "mating psychology,"
then you can learn to attract women MUCH faster...

Back to the answer...

Women test men because they need to QUICKLY
figure out what they're dealing with, and they
can't expect a man to just be straight up and
honest about his strengths and weaknesses.

I mean, let's face it... we guys like to talk a
big game, but when it comes to walking the talk,
we often can't BACK IT UP.

Also, beautiful women have a lot of options.

They have their pick of men. And beautiful women
prefer STRONG men. Not physically strong (although
this can be an advantage), but strong in CHARACTER
and PERSONAL IDENTITY.

Women aren't attracted to WUSSIES.

So let me ask you... if you were an attractive
woman that was being chased around by 100 guys,
how would YOU go about figuring out which one or
ones were the "real deal" and which were merely
FAKING strength and confidence?

Of course... you'd have to TEST them.

But you couldn't test by saying, "OK, I'm going
to give you a test now, so get ready."

No no NO!

You'd have to use "blind" tests. Tests that
would allow you to see a man's true strengths and
weaknesses.

And in fact, you'd want to use tests
that ideally DIDN'T ALLOW HIM TO KNOW THAT YOU
WERE TESTING... OR WHAT YOU HAD DISCOVERED ABOUT
HIM WITH THOSE TESTS. This way, if he turned out
to be a Wuss Bag, you could slip away quickly and
easily.

This would give you the power...
Of course.

And if you did this OFTEN, you'd eventually
become so accustomed to doing it, that MANY of the
tests would become SUBCONSCIOUS and work their way
into your NATURAL, EVERYDAY way of communicating
with men.

Well, guess what?
That's what is going on with beautiful women.

Many of the tests that they use with men are
actually OUTSIDE OF THEIR AWARENESS. They test us
automatically!

And if you fail one of these tests, there's a
good chance that you won't get another chance.

In this fast-paced world, we humans don't have
the time to spend getting to know people over a
few months or years to figure out whether or not
they're the kind of person that would make a good
friend or mate.

We need to know NOW.
So we use shortcuts.
Testing is a shortcut for women.

It lets them discover VERY RAPIDLY whether you
have BALLS, or if you're just another one of the
bazillion Wusses that are trying to get her
attention.

I hope you feel what I'm saying.
So, the next time you're standing in front of a
beautiful woman who you've just asked for her
number and she says, "Why don't you just give me
yours and I'll call YOU..." try CHUCKLING out
loud, and saying:

"Oh, come on. Don't give me that old line. Write
your number down and I'll only call you 25 times a
day until you wind up having to change it because
I have nothing better to do with my time than call
someone who doesn't want to hear from me."
Then hand her a pen, point to the paper, and
look her in the eye expectantly.

Love it.

I want to know.

2008-06-18T08:47:00.000-07:00

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are orbiting the sun. I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow, have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed for fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty everyday, and if you can source your life from it's presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon...YES!

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done for the needy.

It doesn't interest me who you are or how you came to be here. I want to know if you can stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me what or where or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in empty moments.

- - - Don't judge me for who I am, rather see me for the person I can become - - -

Loneliness.

Is being out of touch with yourself

Denying your innermost need by pretending it doesn't exist

Defying what you desperately want to accept

Exchanging tenderness for bitterness

Causing unnecessary alienation all for the sake of pride

Life's lessons.

2008-06-18T08:28:00.000-07:00

Life Lessons

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned that it's not what you have in your life, but whom you have in your life that counts.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And, just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt, and you will get hurt as well in the process.

I've learned that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish. Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've learned that heroes are people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.

I've learned that it's more important in understanding the intentions of the act rather than the act itself.

I've learned that people would rather believed you're out to harm them rather than you're out to aid them.

I've learned that people are naturally selfish.

I've learned most people are usually perceived and judged by first impression.

I've learned that even if you have a license to kill, it does not necessitate you to go out and kill everybody you despised.

I've learn that true happiness is found is the man who is most contented.

I've learned that true serenity is about letting go. . .'

Spiritual Teacher/Spiritual Seeker

A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes that he is lost. He spots a person on the ground, reduces his altitude, and shouts, "Hey! Can you tell me where I am?"

The person below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this field."

The balloonist says, "You must work as a spiritual teacher."

"I do," replies the person, "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "what you told me is true enough, but it's of no use at all."

The person below said, "You must be a spiritual seeker."

"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the person, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help you. You're in the same position you were in before we met, but now it's my fault!"

When should you pay for a woman?

2008-06-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

***DATING QUESTION FROM A READER***

I have a question concerning dating and when/when not to pay for stuff. At what point (if any)should I pay for both of us when dating? I don't want to get the woman into the mindset of"courtship." What should a man pay for when he's dating?

Sincerely,
M.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

This is a common dilemma that most men face...

"To pay or not to pay, that is the question."

Here are some of the problems that "paying"creates:

1. It sets you up as the one who is "pursuing" the woman, which symbolically gives away your power to her.

2. It can be expensive.

3. It usually causes women to play even "harder to get".

4. It triggers all kinds of "courtship" behaviors. Like her making you prove yourself, waiting to have sex, etc.

5. The places you'll be going to "pay" are often not the best places to actually get to know another human being. Movies, fancy dinners, etc., aren't natural environments and they don't lead to people "being themselves".

So, what's the alternative?

Well, the FIRST thing you should do is CHANGE THE WAY YOU THINK ABOUT "DATING"... and "paying".

Most guys just naturally assume that if they're"taking a girl out" that they need to take her to a show or movie, a nice dinner, etc.

And by the way, this is actually part of a much BIGGER issue... that most guys feel OBLIGATED to give things to women, buy them things... and basically PAY for their attention and affection.

Of course, these are basically the WORST places to go with a woman in the beginning because, as I mentioned above, they aren't very "natural" places to be.

Instead of asking a woman "out to dinner", try this...

When you're talking on the phone about getting together say, "Let's meet for a cup of tea. This way, if YOU turn out to be a complete freak, I can run away easily."

This will get a laugh, and it will get her thinking to herself, "Wow, this guy is qualifying ME."

Also, suggest a place that's close to your house, in case you want to invite her over afterward.

When you meet for tea, actually drink tea (or iced tea). Because coffee makes your breath nasty and tea is perceived as a more "classy" drink. It's also cheaper than a latte or a mocha.

After you have tea for 30 or 60 minutes, decide how YOU like HER. If you want to continue say either:

"Hey, let's keep talking. I want to shop for abit, come along."
...or...
"Hey, let's keep talking. Where are you parked? You can follow me..." (to your place, of course).

In either case, just assume that she will go along with whatever you're doing, and she almost always will if you're doing a good job of being cocky & funny and keeping her attention.

If you do go out "shopping", go to a funky alternative shopping complex that has tattoo shops, record stores, ethnic food restaurants, etc. Every shopping complex usually has an area like this, so go there.

These places are SO GREAT because they have fun and interesting conversation BUILT RIGHT IN.

If things are going well, and you're enjoying the time with her, you can then have her follow you over to your place. Again, just tell her that you're enjoying the conversation, and that you'd like to continue... and for her to follow you.

Total expense (if you pay for her tea and yours):

A few bucks.

How much better is this than taking her out to an expensive meal and trying to have a normal conversation across a table while being forced to look right at each other all night?

You do the math.

If you actually do a little creative thinking, you can figure out ALL KINDS of great things to do that cost little or no money at all when you go out with women.

Extra bonus:

When you don't do "normal" dating things, women will tend to play "hard to get" less.

They'll expect less in the way of gifts and money spent on them and they'll actually HAVE MORE FUN.

Really.

Afraid of women?

2008-06-14T04:22:00.000-07:00

What prevents men from being successful with women?

Well, the list goes on and on... but one of the elements that TOPS the list is FEAR.

There are many different situations that make men feel fear, but I'd like to talk about some of the most common ones... and what to do about them.

First of all, I'd like you to be honest for a moment about this topic.

Do you ever feel FEAR when it comes to women and dating?

Have you ever seen a woman that you'd really like to meet, but you started to feel fear and didn't do anything about it?

Or maybe you were on a date and you wanted to kiss a woman... but you felt too afraid because you didn't want to make a mistake and screw up your chances?

Or maybe you even got a woman's phone number,but you were too afraid to call back because you didn't know how to start off the conversation or ask her out?

Come on, seriously...

Have you ever been sitting there with the phone in your hand, dialing a woman's number, but you had to hang up because you were just too nervous to even talk to her...?

Or out on a date with a woman, and you wanted to kiss her, but you got so nervous at the thought that you just decided it would be better to forget the whole idea and hope for the best...?
Me too. Quite a number of times, in fact.

Coping with fear wasn't exactly something I was born talented at, I had to learn it the hard way.

By the way, it's not exactly FUN to admit that you're afraid of things.

I'm sure you know that most guys would rather admit in public that they were unsure about their sexual orientation than that they were afraid of women.

Of course, this unwillingness to admit that you have a problem IN THE FIRST PLACE only makes matters worse...

If you don't admit that you have the problem, then it's hard to get help and answers to it.

Well, the good news is that you're not alone.

Almost every guy I've known (including myself)has dealt with this issue MANY TIMES with women.

So, STEP 1 is to GET OVER IT. Get over your need to deny that you're afraid. Just admit that you're afraid, and come to grips with the fact that you're human...

STEP 2 is to admit that you'd like to get this particular area of your life handled.

STEP 3 is to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Once you realize that it's not that big of a deal, then the improvement can start. On the other hand, if you just stay in denial about it, you'll probably just look for new tricks and techniques to use on women... which, of course, won't lead to any REAL improvement.

I personally think that one of the biggest causes of fear when it comes to situations with women is:

PUTTING TOO MUCH IMPORTANCE ON WHAT THE WOMAN THINKS OF YOU AND WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT PARTICULAR SITUATION.

To put it in different words, most guys don't take action because they're afraid that they'll screw up, or that the woman or others around will judge them.

The REAL problem though is that this whole process has become AUTOMATIC, and it happens INSTANTLY the moment most guys see a woman that they'd like to meet. Before they even have a chance to think about the situation rationally, they've become nervous, insecure, and upset.

I'm sure you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

As humans, we have these incredible minds and bodies, but sometimes they get wired up in ways that aren't exactly useful for the situations that we find ourselves in. Worse, sometimes our cultures, families, or peer groups teach us ways of thinking that just aren't useful at all for what we'd like to accomplish.

Here's something that I realized a few years ago when I was learning for myself how to be successful with women...

I thought about this idea that I was having this instant, automatic fear in different situations with women, and that what I was really thinking was "I don't want to screw this up" and"I don't want her to think that I'm a moron"...

And all of a sudden something dawned on me:

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

It doesn't matter what happens, and it doesn't matter what she thinks of me.

I realized that the fears I was experiencing were more from PROGRAMMING than from reality.

So, I started to remind myself as often as possible that the fear wasn't happening because there was any kind of danger... and that my objective in a particular situation wasn't to have it turn out perfect, IT WAS TO LEARN.

Think about the difference between doing something because it's important vs. doing something in order to LEARN.

So, for instance, if I saw a woman that I wanted to meet... instead of thinking, "OK, I have to say something charming and original so she'll like me... and if I screw up I'm going to be embarrassed" - I began to think things like, "I'm going to learn how to get a woman's phone number within a few minutes of meeting her... and part of learning this is going to be trying a lot of different things that probably aren't going to work... but in the end, it's all going to even out because I'm going to have the SKILL that I want."

See the difference?

Well, let me tell you, that change in attitude made a HUGE impact on my success. I was willing to do and try things that I never would have tried in the past for fear of screwing up...

All because I had the attitude of "I'm going to learn something from this and improve my skills...and it doesn't matter what happens in THIS PARTICULAR situation", I was able to improve very rapidly.

And the more I began to apply this idea, the more success I had in ALL areas with women... from the first meeting, to getting them to go out with me, to taking things to a physical level.

So do this:

Go out RIGHT NOW and start a conversation with a woman.

I don't care if she's attractive or not.

But instead of having the objective of getting a date, have the objective of LEARNING SOMETHING.

In fact, if you REALLY want to improve fast, go spend a day starting conversations with women, but make the commitment to NOT get any phone numbers or dates all day.

In other words, no matter WHAT happens, you can't date any of the women that you meet that day.

See if you can just learn how to do a few simple things like say, "Hi" to every woman that walks by... how to maintain eye contact with women until THEY look away... and how to end a conversation "too soon" so she feels a natural vacuum and tries to keep it going herself...

That's one good idea for dealing with your fears.

Read this if you're very nice to women...

2008-01-11T02:15:00.000-08:00

Are Women Attracted To "Nice" Guys?

>QUICK NOTE: As you've probably already guessed,women are NOT usually ATTRACTED to "nice" guys. If you're too much of a nice guy, and you'd like to learn how to communicate with women in a way that makes them feel ATTRACTION for you, then do yourself a huge favor, and read THIS now:

***QUESTION***

Hey bro...

I recently began reading ur stuff because I have met a girl that i am really into and I must make it work with her.

You are probably busy but Im going to give you the background story of this and maybe you will have some specific advice for me.

I met this girl M. in July through a friend online. We got to know each other some and after a few weeks she came to watch my friend and I at a basketball game that we were playing in, and I met her in person briefly that day.

Unfortunately, I did not see her in person again that time because I was back to college soon, so we talked more online and it went very well. We really seemed to hit it off and had a lot in common and we were definitely good friends. I made her laugh a lot as we both said and did a lot of silly things (she likes that kind of stuff) and we continued to talk and get to know a lot about each other.

I was very supportive of her and she was the same for me and showed a lot of interest in what I had to say. She wanted my phone number here at college and I gave it to her, and we began to talk a few times in the evening by phone too. She also wanted my mailing address here and sent me a package with a card and some goodies that were related to some inside jokes we have with each other.

This is when I decided that I wanted to be more than a friend to her and make a move to tell her subtly my intentions. I just told her that i thought she was really cool and since we have alot in common I was wondering if she wanted to go out sometime when I got back home for break.

She really didnt have much of a reaction one way or the other and just said that it would be fun.

Well gradually things escalated and we spent more and more time talking to each other online and by phone, and we exchanged pictures and packages all the time and I opened up to her more and more and told her how I felt for her. I sent her roses to congratulate her and she liked that a lot.

She is somewhat of a quiet shy girl, but she is really nice but also very hesitant. She has never been in a relationship before, and the funny thing is that this is true more or less for me too. I continued to tell her my feelings for her more and she would only say that she felt the "same" or "me too".

She said that she was worried that when I got to meet her more when i was home my feelings would not be the same. So talking till nearly Christmas, it was to the point where we knew almost everything about each other that we could talk about, and I was really showering her with attention and compliments (I know, according to your teaching this is wrong haha) and she just said that we have to wait and see.

I teased her telling her that there were some dreams I had but would have towait to tell her how they ended, and she said she would eventually open up to me.

Well we got together finally over my Christmas break and I went over to their house for the evening after dinner (i bought....youre probably saying "doh") and we watched movies. Their family seems to like me alot by the way, and I have talked to M.'s sister and mother on occasions before this.

I asked if i could put my arm around her and she let me, and then before i went home we went for a short walk and I held her hand to "keep it warm". Before I got into the car she gave me a hug and I invited her over for tomorrow, and that since we are an hour away from each other's house she could stay the night to save time.

So we had a good time on Thursday and she met my family, and we played games and movies and such, and I said she could sit with me in my couch where it was warmer and she accepted.

After the movie was done at about 2:30 am, I shut it off and we just lay there reclining. I started to stroke her arm and gently rub her hands, and then i went to her face and neck and hair, once in a while whispering in her ear and saying she smelt and looked good.

She just lightly giggled, and rest her head on my chest but she didnt really do any touching herself, but we got out of the chair at 6 am and slept till 9am and got up and had a fun day again playing games and I showed her around town.

We played footsie underneath the card table some but again it was pretty much myself doing all the showing of affection. We had a candle lit dinner that night and I asked her if her doubts had been answered yet, and she said she knew how I felt but that I needed to get to know her more and that she just was hesitant and not able to open up as much as I am yet. She sat in the couch with me again Friday night and it was more of the same and then she went to bed at 3, but I couldnt sleep that night because I really wondered if I was maybe being too serious and forward for her.

She wanted up at 6:15and so I woke her up touching her face, and we lay in my bed for about an hour with more of the same of me touching her, and then it came time for her to get ready and say goodbye. I had asked her on several occasions over the week at what I felt was the right time if she wanted to know how my dream ended (which we both know what it is hehe) but she said not yet and maybe later. I had written her a long note that night since I didnt sleep and I gave that to her out by her car and she gave me another hug and off she went. I flew back out to school Saturday morning and I have been pretty sad, both because I miss her and because Im not sure if she feels the same way I do.

It seems like she likes all the attention Im giving her that she has never gotten before, but only seems to reciprocate the same things I say and she does not open up to me nearly like i have to her.

So i have decided I need to probably try another approach and start applying your methods and see if that gets me anywhere. I will be home for a break in a few weeks and Im hoping that she will start opening up to me then, otherwise im not sure I want to continue to keep giving myself to her like I have if she wont do the same.

She does give me a lot of her time so I know she is interested, but I want her to start really being into me the way I have shown her. So Ive been reading your stuff and I think I need to loosen up and tease her a little more and not shower her with compliments, maybe once in a while, and I need to start talking to her less. I think I need to be a little more indifferent but Im just not sure what exactly to do as far as how sweet i am supposed to be to her, and the right kind of attitude i need to have.

I think I need to let my cocky and funny side come out more but I dont want her to think I am not interested in her or that I am a prick. Im thinking that I need to realize less is more, and give her opportunities and such but make it sparingly and focus more on just being a fun person.

Its been almost 5 months knowing her and theres a lot more I could say as far as details, but Im wondering that from what you can get out of this if you have any specific advice for me?

I appreciate it a lot man, and thanx for all the post! Talk to you later.

-Confused-

The Answer.

You might want to sit down for this.

Sit on a chair with ARMS on it so you don't fall off, OK?

It's VERY clear to me that you've become VERY emotionally attached to this girl... and that you like her very much (women all over the world are reading this right now and crying...)

And I know that when you really, really, REALLY like a girl, "things are different".

I know that this one is different from ALL of the others... and that you don't want to risk doing something wrong with her... so you're not using any of the materials that you're learning from me...

In fact, you're saving the things you've learned from me for "later"... just in case what you're doing doesn't work in the end.

And even though I'm going to verbally beat your ass for all of this in a moment, I want to let you know that I really do understand.

By the way, I'm only being this nice because it sounds like you're still pretty young, and have almost ZERO experience with women.

So don't get too used to this "kid politeness" stuff from me. Next time you write, I'm just going to launch and beat the crap into it.

OK.

Here's how your letter started:

"I recently began reading you're stuff because I have met a girl that i am really into and I must make it work with her."

I smelled trouble before I was finished reading that first sentence, man.

Here's what my gut tells me:

You sound DESPERATE.

You sound like the affection-starved human male equivalent of a hungry homeless kitten.

It's also clear to me that somewhere along the line in your life you got the idea that if you want to make a woman like you, that you should ACT and BEHAVE like a woman.

This is a problem.

From your perspective (which I understand a little too well from your detailed letter), it ALMOST looks like she might like you.

I mean, she's replying to everything you do in a "mirror image" kind of way.

She's not stopping you.

And sometimes she does something nice in return when you're sweet and thoughtful...

But you can FEEL that something just isn't quite "right" here.

Again, it ALMOST looks like she might like you... and when you're in this situation, even small hints seem like they could be "the big clue" that lets you know that she is just as in love as you are.

But my guess is that this situation is much worse than you think.

In fact, I think that there's a very good chance that it's so bad... so, so bad... that it's probably a waste of time to try to "save" it.

I think that the "hints" you're getting from her are the behaviors of a sweet girl who doesn't like the idea of hurting you.

In other words, she's probably as far from "into you" as a girl can be... but she loves you as a friend, and cares about you as a person... so she can't bring herself to look you in the eyes and say, "Hey, you're acting like a girl and you've destroyed all chances of me ever feeling any type of ATTRACTION for you".

Hell, probably she doesnt even know why she's not feeling attraction for you.

Probably she think's " He's so nice to me and all, this is the of guy I should be liking and all, but why am I not feeling a thing?"

By the way, I'm about to give you some good ideas for your situation, but the bottom line is that you need to work on yourself on a DEEP level.

So let's talk about some of the things you've mentioned in your email...

The first thing that comes to mind is how much ATTENTION you give her.

In the moment, giving someone attention SEEMS like a great thing. They usually seem to enjoy it, and you know you're getting approval from them because they're still talking to you.

The other little "hidden bonus" of giving someone a lot of attention, is that you know they're not getting it from SOMEONE ELSE during the time that you're giving it to them...

Which gives many people a false sense of security.

Heavy, man.

But I think it's time you started thinking of this topic a little differently.

Think of attention, compliments, physicalaffection and emotional attachment like FIREWOOD.

A little at a time is perfect.

But if you put it all on at once, you're going to burn the house down and destroy everything.

When you give a woman too much attention, you are communicating that you're OBSESSED and DESPERATE.

In other words, you're almost the OPPOSITE of a CHALLENGE.

Have you ever heard a woman say "I just met this really sensitive, thoughtful, sweet guy that calls me 100 times a day and sends me flowers and cards and gifts... and I just can't stop thinkingabout him..."?

No?

Me neither.

Well actually I've heard it from this girl who was a 1out of 10...but well it doesnt really matter does it?

Surprise, surprise.

Women aren't INTO guys who are obsessed with them.

Women are INTO guys who are interesting, mysterious, challenging... guys who trigger ATTRACTION in them, not AFFECTION.

Here's how YOUR mind is working right now:

"It feels good, so do it."

"She seems to enjoy it, so keep it up."

"I don't want to lose her, so I must continue to smother her with attention."

"This is the only chance I get, so I must take it to the max."

"If I don't do something, some other guy will, and I'll be heartbroken."

Don't worry, this is how MOST guys think and act.

Hell, I used to do this stuff once upon a time...

But here's what's probably going on in HER mind:

"He's always there whenever I want to talk."

"He's such a sweet, nice, caring guy."

"Maybe if I keep talking to him I'll feel something..."

"...But for some reason... I just don't FEEL IT for him... and I can't make myself feel it..."

"I don't want to hurt him, so I'd better be niceto him."

Well I hope she hasn't find you to be irritating and annoying yet.

She probably feels a lot of guilt... because maybe she is thinking that she "led you on".

Here's something for you to think about:

"Getting KILLS Wanting"

If someone gets something, or even knows that they HAVE IT whenever they want it, that thing becomes much less interesting to them.

As a rule, we humans desire things that aren't easy to get.

We don't want the easy thing!

Just think about it, man.

The more you don't know how she feels about you, and the more you try... the more you WANT HER.

It's working on YOU, but you can't see it!

Here's the bottom line:

Going with your emotions, and confessing your love for a girl too early on isn't always as "good" as it "seems" like it should be.

If you smother her with too much attention, she's going to run from you and go find a challenging guy sooner or later.

Let's asume you get really lucky and she agree's to be with you and stuff... I can be damn sure she's only agreeing because she doesn't know how to turn you down.

And eventually she's gonna leave you soon enough due to the reason of no feelings.

She's giving you all the "I really like you, you're a sweet guy, I can't bear to break your heart, and I DON'T FEEL IT FOR YOU" signals.

You need to carefully consider your situation, and decide what you REALLY want.

She doesn't have experience with men, relationships, and life.

And from the sounds of it, neither do you.

You're acting on emotion here.

You're not THINKING.

I didn't hear you say "Yea, well I've thought this over, and it makes a lot of sense for her and I to be together..."

You're acting like a typical WUSSBAG, dude.

It's time to face that reality...

If you were in a court of law right now trying to prove that you weren't a WUSSY, you would not be able to provide even a shred of evidence to support your case.

If the jury was made up of your Mom, Juliet(Romeo's girlfriend), Celine Dion, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty, Michael Jackson, even THEY would reach an UNDISPUTED verdict:

WUSSY!

They might even ask you to provide evidence that you're MALE... based on your testimony here.

And you've only got yourself to thank for it.

You did it all.

Here's something for you to remember:

Attention from a man can be like a DRUG for a woman... even if she isn't attracted to him.

A woman will often allow a guy that is IN LOVE with her to pour his heart out, confess his feelings, and demonstrate his devotion... even though she has ZERO INTENTION of feeling the same way herself.

And if you have a young woman who has never been in a relationship with a guy, this could be an even BIGGER probability.

I don't have to explain why.

Here's my guess:

95% chance she's not into you.

5% chance she is into you, but she's just too young, inexperienced, shy, or whatever to know what to do about it... or maybe she has some kind of strange religious perception that has brainwashed her into thinking that she needs to marry you before kissing you. But doubtful.

You're in one hell of a of a situation.

You're emotionally attached to this girl, and you "like-like" her.

She's emotionally attached to you, but she most likely DOES NOT "like-like" YOU.

What you do here is your choice, but the chances of something working out are slim-to-none, because you didn't create ATTRACTION at the beginning with this girl.

And even if there were some sparks initially,your Wussy behavior has almost surely killed them all off for good.

SOME GOOD NEWS

Now that I've dealt you the bad news, let's talk about the future.

Let's talk about what you can learn from this experience.

And let's talk about how to use what you've learned to make your life great in the future.

And who knows, maybe after you get your act together, and this girl gets a little bit of life and relationship experience, you just might get lucky and meet her in an airport and she'll forget what a girly-man you used to be...

Actually, probably not.

But it was a nice thought.

In the future, if you are "interested" in a girl, you must remember to be a MAN around her.

Women feel ATTRACTION for "MEN".

On the other hand. they feel AFFECTION for "nice guys" that wind up becoming FRIENDS.

Instead of waiting until the very end, when you are convinced that a woman isn't into you, before doing what you're learning from me... do it from the BEGINNING.

You must SPARK the ATTRACTION right from the start.

You can't wait until the end, man.

What you were doing was like trying to take all the ingredients of a cake and bake them, then mix them.

It doesn't work that way.

In the future, you need to do the right things, in the right order.

You've learned a valuable lesson. So appreciate what you've learned... even though it's hard.

You're off to a good start now that you've read my stuff and all... but it really sounds to me like you need to REPROGRAM YOUR MIND.

It sounds like you need a complete overhaul of your thinking and mentality.

It sounds like you need a major DE-WUSSING,followed by a ground-up education on how to think, act, and communicate in a way that makes women feel ATTRACTION for you...

Take it from me... I've been in your shoes.

I know what it feels like to be doing every possible thing and giving as much as humanly possible... only to have a girl respond by saying "I don't know how I feel" or "I just think we should be friends".

It sucks.

Once you've reached to that level, it's gonna be really hard to repair it.

But it doesn't have to be this way!

Things can change. It's probably high time that you began changing.

Check this out, you might just realise your mistake.

2007-12-31T04:22:00.000-08:00

Question.

I've been seeing this girl for about a month now but I don't seem to be able to get to the next level. There is no question that she likes me since she keeps calling and suggesting to do things together. However, she insists on bringing up that she's gotten hurt in the past which apparently makes it hard for her to trust guys. According to me that is pretty damn dumb; we've all been hurt, haven't we. GET OVER IT! Anyway, my question to you is, how do I earn her trust? Are there any shortcuts? Help me out here bro!

Answer.

My guess:

You're probably acting like a WUSSY with her, and she doesn't feel any ATTRACTION for you.

She's probably hanging in there, hoping that SOME kind of feelings will develop for you... but it's not working.

Look, when a woman says:

"I only like you as a friend"

...or...

"I've been hurt, so I want to take this slow"

...or...

"I like you so much, I don't want to lose you as a friend"

...or any of the million variations of these things, it USUALLY means that you're not doing the things it takes to create ATTRACTION.

She doesn't FEEL IT for you.

And if she doesn't FEEL IT, then there ARE NO shortcuts, my man.

Stop being such a "nice" guy, and start doing the things you're learning from me to spark some CHEMISTRY!

Now let me answer the question of how to make a women fascinated by you.
This is a very very very FAQ.

I've learned a secret to impressing women that I'm going to share with you in this post.

It's a secret that probably not 1 in 1,000 men knows or will ever figure out on his own.

The REASON that most men will never figure out this particular secret is that it's TOO OBVIOUS.

Let me explain... I personally think that most men feel a very powerful desire to IMPRESS women. If you watch the way a man behaves when he's talking to a woman he's just met or a woman that he's on a first date with, you can SEE IT.

Maybe you've been there yourself. I know I have. The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually comes along with another feeling:

DON'T SCREW THIS UP.

Here are some of the signs that a guy is feeling the need to "impress" the woman that he's talking to:

1) He tries to only say "cool" things, or things that will "impress" the woman.

2) He acts nervous and stilted during the conversation... sometimes coming across as"formal" or probably awkward...

3) He tries to figure out what the woman wants to hear.

4) If he says something that the woman doesn't like, he "back-pedals" and tries to change what he said to suit the woman.

5) He doesn't say anything "risky", doesn't tease the woman, and doesn't do anything to upset her.

...in other words, when a guy is talking to a woman that he "likes", he's usually on his "best behavior", and he's trying to "put his best foot forward".

To say it again, MEN FEEL A POWERFUL DRIVE TO IMPRESS THE WOMAN THAT THEY "LIKE".

And this drive to impress often makes them act UNNATURAL. There's your first hint, in fact...

THE SECRET

Remember at the beginning when I told you that I was going to share a secret with you about how to impress women that not 1 in 1,000 men will figure out on their own? Well, here it is:

STOP TRYING.

If you will just STOP TRYING to impress women,and do the things I'm teaching you instead, women will NATURALLY be "impressed" by you.

TRYING TO IMPRESS A WOMAN DOESN'T IMPRESS HER. So let's break this down...

WHY IMPRESSING WOMEN IS THE WRONG ROAD?

What's wrong with trying to "impress" women, anyway? To start with, EVERYTHING.

When you intentionally try to impress a woman, you send the following messages on a "subtle" level:

1) I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I will try to "impress" you instead.

2) I'm not comfortable enough around women to just act normal.

3) I don't have a lot of experience with attractive women.

4) I'm insecure.

5) I don't know how to make women feel comfortable with me.

Ouch. But it's the truth.

Women can TELL INSTANTLY when you're "trying".

The conversation doesn't feel "normal", your body language is strange, and you can't seem to have a regular conversation. Now of course, I've just described the way that about 99.9999% of men act when they're first talking to a woman that they "like".

Are you ready for a profound insight? Here goes... MOST MEN DO THIS WITH MOST ATTRACTIVE WOMEN MOST OF THE TIME. IN OTHER WORDS, IT'S OLD NEWS. IT'S BORING. IT'S PREDICTABLE. AND IT DOES NOT IMPRESS AT ALL.

The bottom line is that trying to impress a woman usually has the OPPOSITE effect. It not only makes you look like a nervous guy who can't make normal conversation... it also bores the hell out of women.

WHAT TO DO INSTEAD

OK, so you're out having a cup of tea with a beautiful woman you just met a few days before... She asks you what you do for a living. Should you answer with:

1) "Well, I'm an engineer for a software company that makes sophisticated vector widget plotting algorithms. I've been with them for three years,and I'm about to be promoted to ALGORITHM MANAGER."

2) "I do stunt work. Have you ever seen it in a movie when a hot actor has to reveal his naked ass? That's my job." ...

Well, it all depends on what your outcome is. If you want to try and IMPRESS the girl with your cool high-tech job, then #1 will work just fine.

Unfortunately, it won't impress her at all, and it will make you sound like a jackass who is trying to sound cool. If you want to ACTUALLY impress her, try #2. Most men don't have the BALLS to say something like this when a woman asks a "serious" question like "What do you do?".

If you REALLY want to make a long-lasting impression, KEEP THE HUMOR GOING.

She'll say "No, really... what do you do?".

Answer with: "No, really. Haven't you ever seen it when an actor needs a stunt ass? I mean hey... someone's got to do it".

Now, I can't possibly go into all the reasons why it's a HUGE MISTAKE to try to impress a woman, or to feel like everything you say should be"impressive".

There are MANY reasons for this. MORE IMPORTANTLY, there are a few things you can do that will INSTANTLY impress a woman...and I mean REALLY impress her.

But these things aren't OBVIOUS. The most IMPORTANT thing you can do toIMPRESS a woman is make her feel a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you. This feeling will stay with her long after you have left and gone home.

And it's the one thing that will make women pursue YOU... and try to impress YOU.

What's the best way to do this?
1) Stop trying to IMPRESS women!!!

Stop now!!!

2007-12-31T04:03:00.000-08:00

Question.

Now... everyone has problems, and I'm usually strong enough to handle them.

However, within the law of attraction should you never be "weak"?

Hard call for a sensitive soul. What's the balance here?

Answer.

To answer your question "Should you ever be weak?", I say:

Most men act weak ALL THE TIME when they are in the presence of an attractive woman. This is a big problem.

If a woman sees you as a "weak man", then trying to "be strong" will never work. You will only come across as a weak guy who's trying to"act strong".

On the other hand, a guy who is thought of as a"real man"... one who does not act weak during the first several interactions with a woman, can have a "weak moment" later on and actually have a woman respond in a very powerful, positive way.

In other words, if you're perceived as a "real man", then you can do whatever you want, and it will be perceived as part of that personality.

But if you are perceived as a "weak man", then NOTHING you can do will trigger the strong gut-level attraction inside of a woman.

And nothing will change that picture inside of a woman's head.

Once you're thought of as a weak, nice, ass-kissing guy, it's like an invisible switch gets switched off inside of a woman.

And it's not coming back on anytime soon.

So, the big question is, how do you project this "real man" image? How do you be yourself while at the same time doing the things that create attraction? How do you act in an authentic way, while amplifying those parts of your personality that are most likely to trigger the attraction mechanism inside of women?

Part of the answer is to realize that just about every communication has several levels of meaning. When you tease, act cocky and funny, and bust a woman's balls, you could viewed as being a mean jerk. Or, if you do it right you can be viewed as an interesting, sexy man.

This is a critical concept, and you need to understand it if you want to succeed with women.

Question.

Thank you, is all that I have to say. I'm doing better now than in college since I LET myself get wussified over the past few years. I can now, cold-turkey, walk up to just about any woman I want to, and bust her friggin' balls with a straight face and a slight smirk.

Their defense shields melt before my eyes. But, alas, I have a question. It seems when I'm meeting women, within an hour or so, I usually end up making out with them or touching them all over ...while they kiss and touch me back of course.

Getting numbers isn't enough. I want to advance the meeting from the bar or the party straight to the bed-room without all the email and phone call. What is the best way of doing that?

Also....after making out with this one chick I met, after meeting her in a parking lot at some famous delicasy place (go figure), she emails me back a week later saying she wants to pursue friendship first and get to know me. It seems I am perhaps being too agressive. How can I be agressive yet sly about it? Any help would be great. I love this stuff!

Answer.

To answer your first question, about how to skip all the emails, calling, and "dating" and go straight to the bedroom...

Do two things:

1) Don't focus on "the bedroom". Focus on taking things to the next step... and the next... and the next.

2) As soon as you meet a woman, treat it like you're going on a date together.

Let me explain.

If you meet a girl you really like, spark some major chemistry, start kissing her, etc. you're probably going to get some resistance if you look at her and say "OK, let's leave your friends here and go back to my place so I can FUCK you".

That's just a hunch. Worry not.

But, if you meet her, spark the attraction, start kissing, and then say... "Hey, come with me", and then take her hand and lead her to another part of the club or bar... or take her to the dance floor... or some combination... and then start kissing again... and then stop (two forward,one back)... and then say, "Hey, I'm going to this other bar, come along with me"... and then once you're there you continue, all the way until closing, when you say, "Hey, let's keep talking...this is fun. Give me a ride home..." etc., etc.,etc....

I think you can see where I'm going with this.

A woman wants to feel that things are developing naturally, not that you are just trying to get her into bed as fast as you can.

If the evening unfolds in a normal, natural way, and you can progress from one level to the next, you'll do very well and go very far.

Why do you lead her to another part of the club, and then take her somewhere else?

Physically leading a woman is VERY powerful, and leaving together/showing up somewhere else together changes things. When you arrive at the new place, even though you're the same two people that just met, you're now TOGETHER at the new place.

And when you suggest continuing to talk, and her giving you a ride home (or some variation), it's not like saying "Come fuck me". You're making it clear that you want to spend time with her, and it leaves the possibility of ANYTHING happening open.

And as for the girl you met in the parking lot who emailed you a week later saying "Let's pursue a friendship first", what she was probably REALLY saying is:

"I can't believe that I made out with you after meeting you in some parking lot . I'm not like that. So let's get together sometime on a more casual basis, and if you DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID WHEN WE FIRST MET I'LL PROBABLY END UP MAKING OUT WITH YOU AGAIN."

Think about it.

2007-12-19T14:23:00.000-08:00

I realized something recently that I'm sure you and a lot of other guys have encountered. When I talk to my guy friends about girls I'm dating or interested in, they tend to encourage and push me to action. When I talk to my female friends about girls I'm dating or interested in, they tend to say negative things about the girl and plant doubts in my head. What do you think about that? Even though there's no romantic interest between me and my female friends, are they acting competitive on some subconscious level?

-A student willing to learn-

My respond.

THE ANSWER IS YES.

If you think MEN are competitive, just wait until you start dating more WOMEN.

You will not believe how competitive women are.

A friend of mine pointed something out to me a few years ago.

He said "You know when you go out to a nice bar or club, and all the women are dressed up, have their hair done, and their makeup perfect? Well they're not fixed up like that for the men...it's for the other WOMEN."

Now, at first that made no sense to me.

But the more I've paid close attention, the more I realize that it's RIGHT ON.

Women are VERY competitive.

In fact, one of the best ways to meet women is to GO OUT with a cute female friend (or more than one).

Women are always more interested in a guy who already has women around him than a guy who doesn't.

This is one of the reasons why so many married guys talk about how much more often they're approached by women now that they're married...

People always want something that's already wanted by other people.

Female psychology is VERY interesting.

2007-12-19T14:10:00.000-08:00

A MISTAKE ALMOST EVERY GUY MAKES...

I've noticed a KEY difference between the way
men and women act when they meet a "potential
mate".

Women usually act in a way that can be
characterized like this:

"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know
you better, and we can see where this goes."

Men usually act in a way that can be
characterized like this:

"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In
fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential
girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night
stand."

In other words, women are usually casual and
laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...

But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a
POTENTIAL WIFE.

As you can imagine, this creates a lot of
tension and pressure.

And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind,
either.

I'm talking about the kind that makes men
shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel
uncomfortable because the MAN is acting
uncomfortable.

I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.

THE ANSWER...

The simple solution to this is...

DON'T DO IT.

If you start acting all freakish and nervous
when you're talking to a woman, you're probably
going to screw things up before they've even had a
chance to get started.

Treating a woman that you've just met as if she
very well could be the love of your life is
something you should NEVER do.

Instead, take a very different approach.

My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has
SOMETHING that's going to annoy me, bother me, or
SCREW UP HER CHANCES with me.

The MAIN reason that I do this...

SURPRISE...

IS THAT IT'S TRUE!

Duh.

The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible
"long term" with most men. In other words, if you
do get into a long-term relationship with a
particular woman, the chances are that she's going
to have things about her that you don't like.

One of my lines to
follow is, "You're screwing up your chances with
me".

Let's say I'm walking down the street with a
girl to have a cup of tea. Let's assume that she
and I just met the night before, I got her number,
and now we're going from her place to tea.

On the way in the door to the coffee shop, she
trips over the doorway.

I might look at her, shake my head in an
"overly dramatic fake annoyed" way, and say, "This
relationship just isn't going to work".

Then, let's say fifteen minutes later, she
spills her tea on the table and herself.

I'll shake my head again and say, "What did I
tell you about this kind of behavior?".

In other words, I'm communicating the very
OPPOSITE of "You're a potential wife". I'm saying,
"I'm so comfortable around you that I can even
make fun of you without caring what you think of
me".

Does this sound a little crazy?

Good. It should.

But trust me.

If you spend a couple of hours having regular,
normal conversation... being Cocky & Funny,
enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress her, and
generally demonstrating that you could care less
how things turn out, you'll be FAR more likely to
take things further than if you act as if she
might be the love of your life and you wind up
acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs
away.

So here it is again... one thing that most guys
who are unsuccessful with women do that screws
things up... one thing to AVOID:

DON'T TREAT A WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET AS IF SHE'S A
POTENTIAL FUTURE WIFE OR GIRLFRIEND.

Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about
her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her
that she's a nice friend. Assume that she has
qualities that are going to annoy you, then point
them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).

Don't lose your composure. It can be fatal if
you do.

Another note:

Most guys don't "get" women.

And, unfortunately, most guys look for tricks
and "pick up lines" when it comes time to LEARN
how to meet women.

They don't realize that all the tricks in the
world aren't going to help them if they don't
UNDERSTAND what's "going on".

Fascinating, you might find it to be.

2007-12-18T13:57:00.000-08:00

Question.

"The Guy in the bar Story...

Well *the guy in the bar story* revolves around a guy who was in a bar and he approached this really really hot bartender, and he flirted with her and all, and he finally got her number, and then he left.

Now when I mention this story to a selected few, they were enquiring about why he left the bar as soon as he got the waitress's phone number.

Why should he have left the bar as soon as he got the waitress' phone number?

This is "Ultra Extra Important" as you said. I think I know why he should have left, he was probably staring at her all night and she was turned off by it, but give me your complete insight on why he should have left immediately after getting her e-mail or phone number.
Thanks.

Answer.
As I said before, this concept is VERY important.

Understanding why you need to leave at this point is part of understanding the dynamic called ATTRACTION.

So before I get into the specifics, let's talk about the underlying process that creates ATTRACTION...

1) ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional reaction.

ATTRACTION is nature's way of taking over our minds and bodies long enough to make sure that we mate with someone with the best possible genes.

I realize that this sounds pretty "clinical" "scientific"and lame, but it's the damn truth.

Attraction isn't concerned with you, her, or love. It's evolved over a loooong period of time,and it has a purpose that is very important.

2) ATTRACTION isn't logical, in the sense that it isn't created by things that "should" create it.

Buying women dinner and gifts, giving lots of compliments when you first meet a woman, and kissing up to women to get their approval are examples of "logical" things that SHOULD create attraction... but don't.

When you understand how attraction works, you begin to see that it has a "logic" all on its own.
Attraction is one of my favorite subjects...and I think you should really understand it if you want to be successful with women.

3) Women aren't attracted to guys who act like needy Wuss-Bags. When guys give lots of compliments, seek approval, act clingy, or try to go out of their way to be overly "nice", it usually backfires.

Women run from Wussy men (either that or they go shoe shopping with them... and the guy usually pays).

4) Unfortunately, many guys are mentally programmed to a sort of "Default Wussy" mode of behavior when they encounter a woman that they're attracted to.

When you combine this Default Wuss mode with nervous body language, you create an almost impossible barrier between you and ever creating ATTRACTION.

5) Just like a painting or a song, too much can ruin an interaction with a woman.

You must know when to leave, hang up, or end the interaction.

Leaving at the right moment creates tension, anticipation and mystery.

YOU EITHER INCREASE OR DECREASE ATTRACTION -IT'S ALWAYS EITHER GOING UP OR DOWN...

Of course, there are more ingredients to ATTRACTION, but these will set the stage for where I'm going with this...

In every situation, you can do something to INCREASE the ATTRACTION... and you can do something to DECREASE it. In other words, there's always a way to dial up this magical emotion.
And yes, you can increase the ATTRACTION even when you've just met. In fact, this is often the best time to do it.

Let me ask you a question...

What would most guys do in the situation with the waitress (or maybe a bartender)?

Imagine it.

You're in a bar, you're chatting with the cute gal serving drinks or behind the bar. You're being Cocky and Funny, busting on her, etc. and she's enjoying your company.

You say "Hey, give me ur number!"
(notice how I wasn't asking, I was in fact telling her to give me)
and she writes it down for you... or maybe dials her number on yourphone, or maybe gives you a miss call or whatever.

WHAT DO YOU DO?

You could...

a) Sit there and keep talking.

b) Stay and talk to her a few more times.

c) Wait around hoping that you can go homewith her.

d) Leave.

So let's do a little critical thinking about this situation before I comment (or maybe this will be the comment, we'll see).

If you:

(a) sit there and keep talking, what's likely to happen?

In my experience, unless you're the ultimatePlayer of all time, the only place to go is DOWN.

Think about it... you got her info. You did it. She's working. She's only going to get busy, which will probably make the conversation more difficult.

And then there's the risk of saying or doing something stupid, getting too drunk to make sense, or just having the interaction go cold.

All in all, you have very little chance of anything good happening, and a great chance of having something not-so-good happening.

Doesn't sound like a very good idea to me.

If you:

(b) stay there in the bar (maybe join friends thatshow up), and talk to her a few more times whileordering drinks, etc. what is likely to happen?

Again, we're dealing with a situation that almost can't get any BETTER.

Remember, she already gave you the info. Now she might start thinking "Oh, this is just another loser that hangs out all night and gets drunk with his buddies... like the other 47 guys who hit on me."

Or you might say something dumb...do something dumb... or any of a lot of things.

All downside risk, no upside rewards.

If you:

(c) wait around hoping that you can go home with her, I think you're REALLY taking your chances in the situation.

Again, unless you're the ultimate player of all time, you're not likely to be taking home the bartender by sitting in front of her and drinking all night... for the same reasons listed above.

But what if:

(d) YOU LEFT IMMEDIATELY after getting her info?

What effect does DISAPPEARING have on an interaction like this one?

Well, let me ask you:

What effect does disappearing have IN GENERAL on people?

It creates curiosity, mystery, etc. It makes the other person think "I wonder where he/she had to go so fast?"

You can also combine this with having something very INTERESTING to do. For instance, you might say:

"Nice talking to you... I'm going to go meet up with some friends to have some SERIOUS fun."

This technique of leaving the moment after you've gotten a woman's information has worked WONDERS for me... and for many guys I know.

The long and the short of it is that if you stick around after you get the info, you create no tension, no mystery, and no curiosity.

Leaving also exerts confidence.

On the other hand, if you LEAVE IMMEDIATELY,and have something interesting (even if you don't say what it is) to go do, then you're seen as busy... the kind of guy who has a life... someone who is in demand.

Leaving turns up the ATTRACTION. It creates curiosity.

Women are used to guys hanging on, clinging,and generally NOT having other things to do.

It's something that will INSTANTLY separate you from other guys, and something that will demonstrate all the right qualities with a single move.

Remember, you can do things to INCREASE or DECREASE the ATTRACTION in any given situation. I recommend that you start thinking of how to increase it as much as you possibly can, because if a woman feels ATTRACTION, then almost nothing else matters.

Questions and Answers. You might find it somewhat useful.

2007-12-18T12:54:00.000-08:00

Question.

You've stated numerous times how personality is more important than the other 2 biggies: looks and money. What is your take on shows like "Joe Millionaire" where the star is usually has money and / or good looks? I mean, it's not called "Joe Personality", and they didn't pick Quasimodo to be the star, so it seems to me they're discounting the personality aspect altogether. Just curious about your opinion.Thanks...

Answer.
This is a GREAT question.

I'm sure that more than one guy has seen some handsome guy drive by in a Ferrari with a smoking hot babe next to him and thought, "Looks and money appear to be important factors when it comes to babes".

It doesn't take 20 years of studying human behavior to figure out that looks and money attract women.

But, what YOU'RE suggesting here, by the way you're phrasing your question, is that all other things being equal, LOOKS and MONEY are MORE important than personality... and that, in fact, if a man has those things, he can attract more women than a guy that doesn't have the benefit of good looks or money (but who has the most attractive personality).

Did that make sense?

That sounded like a math problem from high school.

Whatever.

My point is, that if you have good looks, and lots of money, you will definitely have an advantage.

Money will allow you to hang out in places of prestige like clubs, Starbucks, Luna Bar, where a drink is forty bucks... and there are lots of babes there.

Looks will allow you to create good 1st impressions, as well as it also helps in creating sexual tensions as well.

But here's the KEY...

A guy who is AMAZINGLY handsome and SUPER rich will still fail MOST of the time with the women he interacts with if his PERSONALITY isn't together. And especially if he's too much of a WUSSY. (wussy = a guy that behaves like a girl.)

On the other hand, a guy who REALLY understands what makes women feel ATTRACTION, and knows how to interact with them in a way that grabs their attention and keeps it can succeed often, even if he's broke and ugly.

You'll notice that the rich and handsome guys that are the chick magnets are the ones who ALSO understand women - and have Cocky, Funny, Dominant personalities as well.

The reason why the show you're referring to gets so much attention has NOTHING TO DO with the logic you're using.

The appeal of the show is the CONCEPT, combined with the scandal/fairytale elements (not to mention a bunch of hot women to look at).

Think about it.

I get far too many emails from:

1) Guys who are successful, rich and good-looking who are very unsuccessful with women, and...

2) Average-looking, average-income guys who have TONS of success with women...

Money and looks help, but a man who understands women,communication, and ATTRACTION will be more successful than a rich, handsome guy who doesn't.

Question.

I gotta say this. You're seriously awesome. You've opened up my mind and made everything crystal clear for me. Ever since I've learned those stuff from you, I have had more success with women, hot women, then I ever thought possible and the funny part is that it just took me to be me and be the man that I am. Thanks buddy!

Anyways...my question. I noticed something funny the past few times I was out with some hot women. I would make the meeting, we would get together and while we were together everything is going great then at some point, deep in my head I would get the thought that this girl isn't what I want and she is lucky I'm here with her. My behavior didn't change, just the thought of not proceeding with her, but instantly they've turned into wussie's. It was like they could read my mind and know they weren't up to par with me. Whats up with that. Can they read stuff like that? It was an instant flip...I mean instant.

One more question. If a girl of interest keeps on begging you to open up about your life, I'm not talking about feelings, just about your life, is that a bad idea. Is that a wussie behavior?
Thanks!

Answer.

OK, you're touching on something here that is VERY powerful.

I could probably write 20 pages on this topic alone.

Here's the deal...

Women are MUCH better at reading body language than men.

And, as you should know, we humans respond VERY powerfully to body language in general.

The more you interact with women, and the more you use what you're learning from me, the more you'll find that women will FOLLOW YOUR LEAD.

In other words, when you chase a woman, she'll run.

When you play hard to get, she'll pursue you.

If you do things to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then begin to lose interest and behave in a "less interested" way, women will become insecure and start acting like needy Wuss guys. Really.

In fact, one of the things you'll find as you become more and more successful is that women will start becoming VERY attached to you VERY quickly.

Next time you are at a coffee shop, walk up to the counter and greet the person at the register as if they're an old friend that you haven't seen for a few months.

Say "Heyyyy... how have you been doing?" with a big smile.

Watch as they respond to you THE SAME WAY.

We humans respond to subtle body language so instantly and so powerfully that it sometimes scares me.

Question.

I just want to say thank you. Thanks to you, I am beginning to learn how to control myself and have more confidence towards women, but there has been a problem I've had for quite some time now.

The problem is: when should I do things for a woman? Such as if she asks me to go to her car for something, or to go and buy her something out a vending machine we have in our office. Or even making copies of documents for her.

I usually don't mind doing these things for women,but I sometimes feel like I'm just some pet to her and she doesn't really care who I am as long as I'm her "do Boy".

I would like the help of a experienced master for help.
Thanks.

Answer.

I actually think it's fine if you do things for women, buy them things, make copies for them...and fetch whatever her heart desires from the vending machine at work as long as you're not doing it to seek approval from her or whatsoever.

But here's the thing, if you're not seeking her approval or whatsoever, why are you doing it then?

As you can clearly see, you're missing one VERY important piece of the puzzle here.
If you're gonna go and do all those things for a girl:

I recommend that you IMMEDIATELY go out and buy yourself a fine collar, and a good leather leash to go with it.

The next time a woman asks you to go to the car for something, just mention that you needed a "walk" anyway, and ask her if she'd mind holding your leash.

Then take it out, put it on yourself, and hand her the "Master" end of it.

Any other questions?

Question.

1. I have been Cocky and Funny pretty well, and my dates respond as they should. The problem comes later. How should I end a date? What to say and do?

2. This is one that is throwing me off:

At least five times recently, I ended a date that was very successful by all accounts. Being Cocky and Funny kept it lively and my date interested and attracted. The date ends with her saying she really wants to get together again soon, etc. The next day, I receive an e-mail or an sms saying something like, "On my way home, I thought about the date and I just want to take things slowly" or "I apologize for being so forward, I don't know what came over me. I don't want to lead you on, and I have decided I am not going to date anyone for a while." !!! Three women told me I was their last date for a while because they were so confused!
What is going on, bro?

Answer.
Oh, you are running into a VERY interesting problem here.

And the answer is probably not at all what you'd expect.

My guess is that these women are feeling VERY attracted to you, but you're not taking things to a PHYSICAL level with them, so they're getting confused and excusing themselves.

If you go out with a woman, and she feels ATTRACTED to you, but you don't do anything with that attraction, and instead say "OK, good night" , you will scare women away.
You have to realise that being unpredictable means responding to a women in a way that she's not expecting you to;
You on the other hand, I assume, wasn't being responsive at all.

If you're going to be turning them on, you'd better take the next step.

You gotta add more fuel to the flame.

You feel me?

That should solve your problem, bro.

Food for thought... its time to think =)

2007-10-07T00:47:00.000-07:00

I'm talking about the skill of APPROACHING WOMEN.

When you have the ability to approach a woman and start a conversation with her, you IMMEDIATELY begin meeting more women every weekend that most men will meet in SIX MONTHS.

Knowing it helps you ----

1. Practically eliminates ALL chance of rejection
2. Lays the groundwork for natural conversation, killing any "awkward" moments
3. Gets her to not only have a conversation with you... but feel ATTRACTION for you with in the first minutes and even SECONDS of approaching her.

Now... what do we really need to know...?

How to approach a woman who is out with a mixed group of friends... or even another guy?

What you must do differently when approaching a woman who is with her girlfriends to avoid having them TURN AGAINST YOU?

What specific lines and techniques for approaching women in every situation you can imagine... from the mall to the beach to the elevator... along with proven word-for-word lines that work nearly ANYWHERE?

How to approach those ULTRA-HOT women in clubs and get them to totally open up to you... even if you are the tenth guy to hit on them that night?

What to do AFTER you approach and the conversation is flowing to ensure she sees you as LOVER instead of just a friend...

Of course...there are many more things you guys might want to ponder about...
But well...
This is a brilliant start...
And do not haress me for the answers =)
Please.

I think I'm letting too much out of the bag...But well.... =)

2007-10-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

There are two basic stories for how men and women "start off" together, and two basic stories for how men and women "end up".

Through all of time, I'm sure that men and women have been playing out these stories... and I'm sure that they'll continue to play them out long into the future (that is, unless I have something to say about it... and I do).

THE MEETING STORIES

Here's "Meeting Story #1":

Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy doesn't have a clue about how to make girl feel ATTRACTION for him... so, instead he tries to"pursue" girl by offering her dinners, gifts, and flowers. Girl finds boy "nice", but there are no"sparks", so she "just likes him as a friend".

Here's "Meeting Story #2":

Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him,boy understands ATTRACTION, and begins to communicate with girl in a way that makes her feel a powerful physical and emotional response for boy that she can't control. The sparks fly, and boy and girl "get together".

As I'm sure you know...

In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation and both of them know it.

In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the situation.

THE STORIES OF HOW THINGS "END UP"

Let's assume that somehow, boy and girl actually "get together". Things usually go one of two ways after that...

Here's "End Up Story #1":

Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he"REALLY likes" girl. Boy begins to act more and more predictable. Boy starts to share "how he feels" about girl too often. Boy becomes more and more submissive. Girl loses that feeling of ATTRACTION that she once had for boy and has no way of explaining or understanding why. Girl leaves boy and boy is left wondering what happened.

Here's "End Up Story #2":

Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that no matter how much he likes girl, he cannot let himself become a Wussy who chases girl around"sharing how he feels" and becomes boring. Boy keeps the relationship interesting and he keeps challenging girl. Boy stays in control of himself, and by understanding his role as "The Man" in the relationship, keeps girl interested and attracted to him into the future.

And again, as I'm sure you know... In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation and both of them know it. In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the situation.

If you look at your experience with women, I'm sure you'll see that these short stories describe MOST of the experiences you've had. Now, of course there are slight twists andvariations, but the message is clear:

YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FOR WOMEN... AND HOW TO KEEP THE ATTRACTION GOING WHEN YOU MEET A WOMAN YOU REALLY LIKE.

If you don't understand ATTRACTION and how it works, then you are destined to keep playing out these same stories for the rest of your life. It's very unlikely that you'll stumble upon the "magic solution" by accident... ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR MEN - VERY DIFFERENT.

The reality is that you CAN stop this negative pattern if you WANT to. But the key is:

1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.
2) Understanding YOURSELF, so you don't ALLOW yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring and turn a good thing into a bad one... but insteadyou do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the right track.

If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you can control your destiny with women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your destiny with women.

Read that paragraph again, and think about it for a minute before you go on.

OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very different for women than it is for men. Different how?

What do I mean by that? ... Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS...not an "event". It happens over time, and it becomes stronger or weaker depending upon how well the man in the situation understands how it works.

For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an"event", meaning that it's either there or it isn't. It really doesn't matter whether or not the woman understands how it works. (As an interesting side note, if a woman really knows how ATTRACTION works, and her intention is to manipulate a man, it usually works VERY well.)

So, think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism"more like a volume knob than a light switch. It's like a fantastic, classy old car that needs to warm up for a long time before you can drive it... not like a brand new Honda that you can start up and get right on the freeway with.

Here's a little secret about women andATTRACTION:

If you'll just take a little longer in every situation to AMPLIFY a woman's ATTRACTION, she'll love you for it... and you'll experience rewards that will make the extra time you spent seem like the best investment of your entire life.

Here are a few specific tips for you for the"Meeting Phase":

Number 1 :

Start with something STRONG, not WEAK.

When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usually turns into a ball of nervous mush. Then, he usually makes the mistake of letting the woman KNOW that he's nervous and weak.

Don't do it.

Do something STRONG.

Challenge her.

If she thinks that she's cool, make fun of her.If she's smart, argue with her a little. If she's doing something, tell her that you could do it better.

When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE,she'll push back. That's your sign that the GAME IS ON.

If you just chase after her like the 100 other Wussies that have been bothering her this week, you will just be another boring, predictable face in the crowd.

Number 2:

Keep the TENSION UP.

One of my favorite concepts is "Never let the flame fade".
This means that once you SPARK the "chemistry"or "sexual tension", you need to KEEP IT UP.
Just because she starts doing things that hint to you that she's interested, doesn't mean that it's time to STOP. Quite the opposite, actually.

Turn UP the volume a little. It's working, so do more! Sexual Tension is SO important that I've actually devoted an entire "language" and way of thinking about it. If you want to learn how to create Sexual Tension, then use it to really amplify ATTRACTION and arousal, then take a minute and look at this.

Number 3:

Tease.
The word "tease" has a couple of meanings.
One of the meanings has to do with doing things that are slightly annoying to get a response from someone. The other meaning is subtly different and has to do with drawing out a response that you want by doing certain things that indirectly trigger it.
Do both.
If you're about to kiss her, wait until your lips are so close that you can almost feel her...and then STOP. Pull away, and smile.

If you want to know how she feels about you, say, "You LOVE me" in a condescending tone of voice, and see how she responds. If she says "NO I DON'T!" in an exaggerated, mocking way, then she probably DOES "love" you.

Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it. And here are a few tips for the "End Up" phase:

1) Never become BORING.

Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin when it comes to ATTRACTION.
Don't do either.
Of course, telling a man not to be predictable is like telling a dog not to hump your leg.
Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable.
We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it.
But, when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you'd better figure out a way to STOP IT.
There's nothing that will kill the sparks faster than her knowing what you're about to do or say.

2) Don't hand over control.

Women like men who make decisions and take the lead. Now, I'm not saying that women like men who are overly controlling.
What I am saying is that women don't like guys who are always saying things like, "I don't know, what do YOU want to do,baby?".
Women don't want men that they can control, so don't be one.

3) Respect yourself and keep your own interests.

When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often wants to spend as much time as possible with her.
This is natural, of course.
But there's a big danger here as well.
If you put your life aside for a woman, you will become less interesting to HER.
In the long run, it's MUCH better to keep your friends, your interests, and your hobbies, and to spend time doing the things you enjoy... WITHOUT HER.
And I think it's VERY important to keep improving yourself as a person, and continue to be a guy that she can look up to and respect.
As soon as you start acting like she's going to be around forever, she'll start feeling less and less ATTRACTION for you.

THE BIGGER PICTURE

Now, as you read these examples, can you see the bigger picture forming?
Can you see the deeper message?
The deeper message is that you need to understand how ATTRACTION works for women and you need to do those things that keep the ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.
Now, where does this all begin?
It begins with YOU.
And it begins with you learning how to control yourself and your emotions. It begins with you understanding the history of how and why men and women become attracted to each other.

It begins with you learning the basics of how to use subtle body language and communication to make women feel ATTRACTION for you.

Something that might be of interest to you (1)

2007-10-01T04:36:00.000-07:00

Question:

You are a saint. A giant among insects... Ok,maybe not, but it gets through the obligatory ass-kissing since you have helped me so much.

Let me begin...I've had my eyes on this particular girl for quite some time, and I could tell she was already into me quite a bit, but we had never made anything of it. Last week, she decided to "be bold" and ask ME out, instead of the other way around (you can see I'm already doing something right). She asked if I wanted to go see a movie some time; instead of freaking out and jumping at the chance, I said I'm rather tired of this whole `movie date' thing. If she wanted to get me, she was going to have to be a little more creative. She was rather shocked and felt somewhat rejected. Later in the conversation,we were got to talking about this stalker (wussy who needs a life) that seems to be in love with her, and she hates him. He had asked her if she wanted to accompany him to a football game the next night that they both were already going to. She said she really wished that I would come with her so this guy would leave her alone.

I thought,"Ok. This will be my good deed for the year." and said I would go. She ends up driving me to the game. Upon arrival, she just HAD to braid herhair, and asked me to wait around while she did so. I stood there for a second, and then walked off. She started yelling at me to wait; I simply replied, "I'll see you inside the gate." waved and walked off. Once inside, I didn't see her come in,but soon felt someone grab my butt (it was her).We went on into the stadium, she soon saw someone she knew and went to talk to them, dragging me along. I stood around for a second, then wandered off, since I had seen someone I knew as well. She comes to find me soon, and we go off to our seats.

Her stalker had seen us as we were going to ourseats and decided to stay with us for part of the night. She began talking to him, and I did my own thing. I wandered off numerous times through out the night and generally acted very secure and like I didn't need a thing in the world (especiallyher!).

Following the game, as we walked back to her car I could tell that she wanted me badly due to some things she had been saying. She drove me back to where my car was waiting and we talked for twenty minutes or so in her car. There was some hand holding and such going on during the conversation. She said, "You know we're just going to end up making out-you're just delaying the inevitable." Bingo. I shrugged it off, and we continued talking. About ten minutes later, she said, "It's getting late; I really should be getting home." Obviously a ploy to get things started, as it was only 10:15 PM. I shrugged it off, again.

A few minutes pass, and she says,"It's late, I really need to go." I say,"Alright." I open the door and get out of the car.She says, "Where are you going?" I reply nonchalantly, "I just don't think you want it badly enough yet." Score #2. I walk off to my car;she immediately jumps out of the car and begins walking to my car as well.

I get to the car and put the key in the door and she sticks her leg infront of the door with this defiant attitude. I say, "You know, I've never been raped in an empty parking lot before..."You can imagine what went on from there.

Now, on to the questions: First, now that I've used my best line ever ("I just don't think you want it badly enough yet."), do you have any suggestions on what to do and say next time to create that same anticipation/desire in her? Also, you always say that I need to be the first to end the conversation, but many of the girls that I am interested in are somewhat sporadic and tend to call, when they don't have a lot of time. Quite often, they are the ones to end the conversation before I have a chance to. How do I take this? Should I just reply, "Alright. I'll catch you later." Acting like I could care less?

Reply:

Great story. I'm sure that anyone reading this would say"Yeah, but she already liked you"... I wish you would have told the story from the beginning, because I'll bet you MADE her like you with more of the same type communication that you described here. The one thing that you clearly understand here is how SEXUAL TENSION works. You understand how to take a small spark of desire from her and AMPLIFY it until it's literally EXPLOSIVE. If you keep amplifying and letting the tension build with a particular woman, this is the kind of result you'll get... and she will LOVE you for it.

Bravo! Things like making her come up with a more"interesting" date idea, walking away from her when other guys would have clung to her, shrugging off her comments about the two of you getting together, etc. are the magic ingredients. Most guys DESTROY all the sexual tension at every possible opportunity... they take every chance they can to SCREW THINGS UP because they don't know better... The fact is that most men just don't UNDERSTAND how women get turned on.

And most men don't understand that if you really want a woman to WANT you, then you NEED to get her turned on. It's not going to happen by itself.

Here's another interesting aspect of that thing called ATTRACTION:

The bigger the challenge you are, and the more intense the sexual tension, the more aroused a woman will become... so that when you finally do connect physically it's pure electricity.

Again, most men can't HANDLE sexual tension.They feel uncomfortable when the situation isn't"clear cut", and they screw things up.

One of the things you mentioned doing was"shrugging off" her obvious "come ons" to you. This kind of thing makes no sense to most guys. But it makes sense to me. And it made a LOT of sense to HER.

When a woman throws out a sexual comment, etc.most guys screw it up. That's because they don't know the SECRET about these types of comments.

When you're a major challenge, it naturally means that she's not IN CONTROL of the situation.

Attractive women are USED to being in control, so when they're NOT in control, they get agitated. It really bothers them.

So they TEST. They use all kinds of interesting tricks and tactics to see if you're just FAKING like you're actually in control of yourself and the situation.

One of the most obvious tests is throwing out a sexual comment. She might mention that she loves sex, or that she thinks you guys have a chance of "hooking up",or some other "tease".

But make no mistake about it, these comments are not at all the innocent remarks that they appear to be. She's watching VERY closely to see if you'll take the bait. It's a woman's last resort when she feels like she isn't controlling the situation to see if you'll crumble to SOMETHING.

-- If you saysomething like, "Really? You think we're going tohook up? That would be cool." Then she KNOWS SHE'S IN CONTROL.

If you say, "Yeah, you think so? I don't know, I'm not that easy..." then it just dials up the tension, mystery, and challenge.

OK, so you've asked me a couple of questions as well... What should you do NEXT time you see her to keep the tension building...? Well, if something works, KEEP DOING IT. If she enjoyed it the first time, do it again.

This time wait a little longer. Make her think about it a little bit more.

Women LOVE anticipation. They love to feel the rush that something is going to happen... but not know WHEN.

If you REALLY want to take things to the next level, take a page from popular movies and romance novels.

Don't just kiss her. Kiss her PASSIONATELY.

Pull her body into yours as you kiss her. Then push her away and say, "You're bad!"

Stop for awhile. Make her think about it. Then start again when she isn't expecting it.

These are the types of things that make women think about you all the time when you're gone...and call you in the middle of the night because they want to see you. Really.

Most men are so damn BORING when it comes to this stuff! They do NOTHING to make a woman FEEL the powerful feelings that she's always wanted to feel.

You be the one to do it, and you'll be the one she always wants around.

Your second question was about ending calls and conversations first.

The REASON why you should end all conversations and other interactions with women first is that it conveys a clear message:

"I'M A BUSY GUY. I HAVE A LIFE."

It turns YOU into the one that's desirable.

Most guys cling, and try to keep a woman on the phone for a long time. They desire a woman's attention and approval, and they make it clear that this is what they're after.

If you run into a woman who's always on the run, don't let it get to you. To put it differently, don't become obsessed with her just because she's never available!

The answer is to just take things to the nextlevel. Here's a GREAT little technique...

An amazing and simple way to handle this kind of thing is to just say "OK, bye" without any other comments.

She says "I have to go, my friends are waiting for me outside". Just say "OK, bye" and SHUT UP.

80% of the time, she'll say "No, wait! I'm just really busy, call me in a few days" etc.

You can't "kind of" do this. You have to be READY. She's TESTING you by playing hard to get.

It's a game. Have fun with it.

As soon as she says "I have to go, my laundry is in the dryer", you SHOOT back "OK, bye" in a VERY abrupt and casual tone and SHUT UP.

It will create a funny, uncomfortable silence for just a second. Most of the time, she'll say something in a tone of voice that says "That was weird", and then she'll give some kind of explanation or ask you why you were so short with her.

Of course, this is a great opportunity to bust her balls and create some fun banter.

Again, you'll often have her say something like"I'm really busy right now. I'm sorry. Call me tomorrow and let's do something". At this point, you can say "Yeah, if you're lucky. Bye!"

Not cold. Not mean. Just short and to the point. Then, when you call her next, it was HER that asked for the call. You get to call up and say "Well, last time we talked you were begging me to call you... and I felt so bad for you that I finally broke down."

What we're talking about here is DESIRE... and more importantly, INCREASING IT. In most interactions with women there is an opportunity to SPARK the chemistry... the sexual tension... the desire... and then there are many opportunities to AMPLIFY that desire.

Forgive me...

2007-08-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

My days have truly been busy...will update this site as soon as I have ample time.

2007-07-09T12:37:00.000-07:00

Artist - Maroon 5
Song---- Can't Stop
Album--- It won't be soon before long

(One, two, three)

All alone in my room, think of you at a rate that is truly alarming
I keep looping my memories of you in my head, I pretend that you want me
And I fall asleep and dream of alternate realities
And I put myself at ease by pretending that she still loves me

And I can't stop thinking about you
And I can't stop thinking about you
You never call, what do I do?
And I can't stop thinking about your love

Ohh, yeah

Can't believe I could think that she would just follow me everywhere I go
I just wrestle with you in my dreams and wake up making love to a pillow
And I fall asleep and dream of alternate realities
And I put myself at ease by pretending that she still loves me

And I can't stop thinking about you
And I can't stop thinking about you
You never call, what do I do?
And I can't stop, and I can't stop

What I would give to have you look in my direction
And I'd give my life to somehow attract your attention
And I touch myself like it's somebody else
Thoughts of you are tattooed on my mind, let me show you

And I can't stop thinking about you
And I can't stop thinking about you
You'll never go, what do I do?
And I can't stop thinking about you

And I can't stop thinking about you
And I can't stop thinking about you
You'll never go, what do I do?
And I can't stop thinking about you

2007-07-09T12:20:00.000-07:00

Artist: Justin Timberlake
Album: Futuresex / Lovesounds
Title: Lovestoned / I Think She Knows Interlude

She's freaky and she knows it
She's freaky and I like it

Listen

She grabs the yellow bottle
She likes the way it hits her lips
She gets to the bottom
It sends her on a trip so right
She might be goin' home with me tonight

She looks like a model
Except she's got a little more ass
Don't even bother
Unless you've got that thing she likes
I hope she's goin' home with me tonight

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

She's freaky and she knows it
She's freaky, but I like it

She shuts the room down
The way she walks and causes a fuss
The baddest in town
She's flawless like some uncut ice
I hope she's goin' home with me tonight

And all she wants is to dance
That's why you'll find her on the floor
But you don't have a chance
Unless you move the way that she likes
That's why she's goin' home with me tonight

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

Those flashing lights seem to cause a glare
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned from everywhere
She's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

Now dance
Little girl
You're freaky, but I like it
Hot damn!
Let me put my funk on this one time

[Instrumental break]

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

Those flashing lights seem to cause a glare
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned from everywhere
She's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

[instrumental break]

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
I think I'm love stoned
She's got me love stoned

I think that she knows, think that she knows, oh, oh [repeat 2 more times]

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
I'm love stoned from everywhere and she knows
I think that she knows
Think that she knows, oh, oh

And now I walk around without a care
She's got me hooked
It just ain't fair, but I...
I'm love stoned and I could swear
That she knows
Think that she knows, oh, oh
She knows, she knows, oh, oh

A question and an answer.

2007-07-03T06:46:00.000-07:00

Question:

I have a question. Although I hardly ever fail with women, when I'm first meeting a girl and teasing her and being cocky but funny, they respond well and seem to be interested in me.

However,when I ask for the number, lots (not necessarily most, but a good number) of girls initially say"Oh, I've lost my phone yesterday." Or, " You know what? Why don't you give me your number instead?" Or, " I don't have a cellphone actually, I'm sorry."

However, when I give a cocky response, or even if i just say "yeah right", they IMMEDIATELY concede and give me their number... and lo and behold, it works.

I'm just wondering why they make up those lies if they're going to give in INSTANTLY. I wouldn't think that this was too important if it happened once or twice, but there seems to be a trend or pattern here. What's going on?

Reply:

I'm really glad that you asked this particular question because it's hard for a lot of guys to believe that this kind of thing could be real (or at least so common).

My translation of what you just asked is: "Why do women play games when you ask for their number?"

In response to your question, I'm going to give you a two-pronged answer:

1) The psychology of what's going on here.
2) The technique: How I deal with this particular situation, and others like it.

Here's the story which has a psychology lesson to it.

There is this guy I know that had a particularly interesting technique for hiring people.

Here's what he did: After interviewing people for the position, he'd call back the one he liked BEST, and say:"I wanted to call and thank you for applying for this job, but I just don't think you're the right person for the position"... and then he'd listen.

If the person said, "OK, well thank you" he'd just hang up and call the next favorite one. On the other hand, if they said, "Wait a minute, I am the best person for the position, I'm sure of it" etc. he'd say, "Well, tell me more.Why do you think so?" I actually listened to him do this live on the speaker phone one day in his office with a woman that he had interviewed. Sure enough, when he said"Well, I just don't think you're the right person..." she answered with "Why not? I am thebest..." etc. And, sure enough, he hired her.

The point here is that in a hiring situation,there are usually many people applying. An interviewer needs to have ways of quickly filtering through and disqualifying theunacceptable candidates. And a SAVVY interviewer will have ways of quickly finding the EXCEPTIONAL candidates.

This was a great technique for doing just that.

THE TECHNIQUE

The conclusion of it is that ATTRACTIVE WOMEN ARE APPROACHED ALL THE TIME. THEY NEED QUICK, EASY WAYS TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU'RE EITHER THE REAL DEAL OR A WUSS THAT GIVES UP AT THE FIRST SIGN OF RESISTANCE.

Hint: Polite men that say, "Oh OK, sorry for bothering you..." or "OK, here's my number, call me..." are not SEXY or ATTRACTIVE.

On the other hand, men that say (Some of my favorites): "Oh, it's OK... you don't have a phone? That's nothing to be embarrassed about" or "And you expect me to believe that?" in a cocky, funny way instantly telegraph the message: "I'm not a girly-man that gives up easily, and I see through your games. I don't buy it" are VERY ATTRACTIVE. It just says all the right things.

So, here are a few things to remember:

1) Attractive women are approached all the time by men, and are constantly being asked for their number.

2) If you were a woman who is getting asked for your phone number forty seven times a day, you'd probably make excuses yourself.

3) The excuses and "Why don't you give me yours" type responses weed out about 95% of the losers that have no spine and no persistence.

4) If you're READY for this in advance, and you KNOW what you're going to say and do when it happens, AND you don't answer with a lame, needy,wuss response, you increase your chances of getting the number DRAMATICALLY.

5) Confident, cocky, funny responses are a great way to power through these situations.

Let's face it:

Attractive women get a lot of attention. They're not looking for a guy that throws himself at her, and then gives up easily.They're looking for a guy that has all kinds of self confidence, and sees right through her games... to the point where he disarms her and walks away with the digits.

Think about it.

Interpersonal attraction.

2007-06-26T07:14:00.000-07:00

-Interpersonal Attraction-

Interpersonal attraction is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationships. In a colloquial sense, interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. Interpersonal attraction can be thought of as a force acting between two people tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation. According to a personality psychologists' view, interpersonal attraction is a person's qualities that tend to attract by appealing to another person's desires.

When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of study in social psychology. They suggest that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account. Repulsion is also a factor in the process of interpersonal attraction, one's conception of "attraction" to another can vary from extreme attraction to extreme repulsion.

Many factors leading to interpersonal attraction have been studied. The most frequently studied are:

Physical attractiveness
Proximity
Familiarity
Similarity
Reciprocal liking
Reinforcement

Misconceptions and logical fallacies pertaining to randomness.

2007-06-25T10:17:00.000-07:00

Popular perceptions of randomness are frequently wrong, based on logical fallacies. The following is an attempt to identify the source of such fallacies and correct the logical errors.

The Gambler's Fallacy.

The gambler's fallacy is a formal fallacy. It is the incorrect belief that the likelihood of a random event can be affected by or predicted from other, independent events.

The gambler's fallacy gets its name from the fact that, where the random event is the throw of a dice or the spin of a roulette wheel, gamblers will risk money on their belief in "a run of luck" or a mistaken understanding of "the law of averages". It often arises because a similarity between random processes is mistakenly interpreted as a predictive relationship between them. (For instance, two fair dice are similar in that they each have the same chances of yielding each number - but they are independent in that they do not actually influence one another.)

A more subtle version of the fallacy is that an "interesting" (non-random looking) outcome is "unlikely" (eg that a sequence of "1,2,3,4,5,6" in a lottery result is less likely than any other individual outcome). Even apart from the debate about what constitutes an "interesting" result, this can be seen as a version of the gambler's fallacy because it is saying that a random event is less likely to occur if the result, taken in conjunction with recent events, will produce an "interesting" pattern.

The gambler's fallacy can be illustrated by considering the repeated toss of a coin. With a fair coin the chances of getting heads are exactly 0.5 (one in two). The chances of it coming up heads twice in a row are 0.5×0.5=0.25 (one in four). The probability of three heads in a row is 0.5×0.5×0.5= 0.125 (one in eight) and so on.

Now suppose that we have just tossed four heads in a row. A believer in the gambler's fallacy might say, "If the next coin flipped were to come up heads, it would generate a run of five successive heads. The probability of a run of five successive heads is (1 / 2)5 = 1 / 32; therefore, the next coin flipped only has a 1 in 32 chance of coming up heads."

This is the fallacious step in the argument. If the coin is fair, then by definition the probability of tails must always be 0.5, never more or less, and the probability of heads must always be 0.5, never less (or more). While a run of five heads is only 1 in 32 (0.03125), it is 1 in 32 before the coin is first tossed. After the first four tosses the results are no longer unknown, so they do not count. The probability of five consecutive heads is the same as four successive heads followed by one tails. Tails is no more likely. In fact, the calculation of the 1 in 32 probability relied on the assumption that heads and tails are equally likely at every step. Each of the two possible outcomes has equal probability no matter how many times the coin has been flipped previously and no matter what the result. Reasoning that it is more likely that the next toss will be a tail than a head due to the past tosses is the fallacy. The fallacy is the idea that a run of luck in the past somehow influences the odds of a bet in the future. This kind of logic would only work, if we had to guess all the tosses' results 'before' they are carried out. Let's say we are gambling on a HHHHH result, that is likely to constitute the significantly lesser chance to succeed.

Here are some other examples:

1.
What is the probability of flipping 21 heads in a row, with a fair coin? (Answer: 1 in 2,097,152 = approximately 0.000000477.) What is the probability of doing it, given that you have already flipped 20 heads in a row? (Answer: 0.5.)

2.
Are you more likely to win the lottery jackpot by choosing the same numbers every time or by choosing different numbers every time? (Answer: Either strategy is equally likely to win.)

3.
Are you more or less likely to win the lottery jackpot by picking the numbers which won last week, or picking numbers at random? (Answer: Either strategy is equally likely to win.)
(This does not mean that all possible choices of numbers within a given lottery are equally good.

While the odds of winning may be the same regardless of which numbers are chosen, the expected payout is not, because of the possibility of having to share that jackpot with other players. A rational gambler might attempt to predict other players' choices and then deliberately avoid these numbers.)

A number is "due"

This argument says that "since all numbers will eventually appear in a random selection, those that have not come up yet are 'due' and thus more likely to come up soon". This logic is only correct if applied to a system where numbers that come up are removed from the system, such as when playing cards are drawn and not returned to the deck. It's true, for example, that once a jack is removed from the deck, the next draw is less likely to be a jack and more likely to be some other card. However, if the jack is returned to the deck, and the deck is thoroughly reshuffled, there is an equal chance of drawing a jack or any other card the next time. The same truth applies to any other case where objects are selected independently and nothing is removed from the system after each event, such as a die roll, coin toss or most lottery number selection schemes. A way to look at it is to note that random processes such as throwing coins don't have memory, making it impossible for past outcomes to affect the present and future.

A number is "cursed"

This argument is almost the reverse of the above, and says that numbers which have come up less often in the past will continue to come up less often in the future. A similar "number is 'blessed'" argument might be made saying that numbers which have come up more often in the past are likely to do so in the future. This logic is only valid if the roll is somehow biased and results don't have equal probabilities — for example, with weighted dice. If we know for certain that the roll is fair, then previous events have no influence over future events.

Note that in nature, unexpected or uncertain events rarely occur with perfectly equal frequencies, so learning which events are likely to have higher probability by observing outcomes makes sense. What is fallacious is to apply this logic to systems which are specially designed so that all outcomes are equally likely — such as dice, roulette wheels, and so on.

Randomness and how it is associated with free will.(Theological Issue)

2007-06-25T09:56:00.000-07:00

The word random is used to express lack of order, purpose, cause, or predictability in non-scientific parlance. A random process is a repeating process whose outcomes follow no describable deterministic pattern, but follow a probability distribution.

The term randomness is often used in statistics to signify well defined statistical properties, such as lack of bias or correlation.

Randomness has an important place in science, philosophy, and religion.

Randomness and how it is associated with free will.(Theological Issue)

Randomness has been associated closely with the notion of free will in a number of ways. If a person has free will (as defined by incompatibilists), then his actions will be unpredictable by other people and will contain an element of irreducible indeterminacy. By religious or supernatural conceptions of incompatibilist free will, such human actions may be the only source of randomness in the universe. (According to the naturalistic conception, by contrast, incompatibilist free will arises from pre-existing indeterminacy in physical laws and is not necessarily a unique feature of humans. According to the compatibilist conception, there is no randomness and humans are merely too complex to be easily predicted).

Some theologians have attempted to resolve the apparent contradiction between an omniscient deity, or a first cause, and free will using randomness. Discordians have a strong belief in randomness and unpredictability. Buddhist philosophy states that any event is the result of previous events (karma) and as such there is no such thing as a random event nor a 'first' event.
Martin Luther, the forefather of Protestantism, believed that there was nothing random based on his understanding of the Bible. As an outcome of his understanding of randomness he strongly felt that free will was limited to low level decision making by humans. Therefore, when someone sins against another, decision making is only limited to how one responds preferably through forgiveness and loving actions. He believed based on Biblical scripture that humans cannot will themselves, faith, salvation, sanctification, or other gifts from God. Additionally, the best people could do according to his understanding was not sin but they fall short and free will cannot achieve this objective. Thus, in his view absolute free will and unbounded randomness are severely limited to the point that behaviors may even be patterned or ordered and not random. This is a point emphasized by the field of behavioral psychology.

Further inspection into the origins of Judeo/Christian religion indicates one view that there is a very strict understanding of predestination excluding any possibility of random events. At the time of Christ the Qumran, a tribe outside of Jerusalem by the Dead Sea, had scrolls that documented their very strict deterministic worldview. Elements of this worldview are found in modern Christianity. For example, the King James and NIV Bible tell humans that God knew the believers before the foundations of time, ECC 3 is about God's perfect timing, and Daniel, Ezkiel, and Revelation tell humans that the end state is already determined. Moreover, the Judeo\Christian Bible indicates that there is a purpose to everything which is found in ECC 3 also.

These notions and more in Christianity often lend to a highly deterministic worldview and that the concept of random events is not possible. Especially, if purpose is part of this universe then randomness, by definition, is not possible. This is also a foundation for Intelligent Design which is counter to Evolution that remarks the natural emerges based on random selection.

Donald Knuth, a Stanford computer scientist and Christian commentator, remarks that he finds pseudo-random numbers useful and applies them with purpose. He then extends this thought to God who may use randomness with purpose to allow free will to certain degrees. Knuth believes that God is interested in peoples decisions and limited free will allows a certain degree of decision making. Knuth, based on his understanding of quantum computing and entanglement, comments that God exerts dynamic control over the world without violating any laws of physics suggesting that what appears to be random to humans may not, in fact, be so random.

C.S. Lewis, a 20th century Christian philosopher, discussed free will at length. On the matter of human will, Lewis wrote: "God willed the free will of men and angels in spite of His knowledge that it could lead in some cases to sin and thence to suffering: i.e., He thought freedom worth creating even at that price." In his radio broadcast Lewis indicated that God "gave [humans] free will. He gave them free will because a world of mere automata could never love…" Lewis, believing in free will, had an indirect belief in randomness by setting up a dependency of love on free will.

Matt Ridley, a zoology doctorate and science writer, writes how humans, a paradoxical creature, can be simultaneously free-willed and motivated by instinct and culture. Ridley suggests that experience and genes have interplay. In his writings he explores DNA as a pattern makers template, not as a blueprint for life, and points to causes of free will as consequences to genetic outcomes. Ridley, in his musings, suggests that the evolutionary force he thinks shapes the contents of our genes is the Genome Organizing Device, or GOD. In Ridley's mind GOD is the pattern maker. Thus, Ridley literally defies natural selection indicating that sources of randomness include God and human decision making.

However, when we acknowledged that an Omniscient God exist, I would be right in concluding that God would indeed know our every moves and thoughts, even before it comes to our own understanding or interpretation of our very actions. The causes and reasons would be know to God beforehand. If this is indeed true, then it would be perfectly logical to conclude that free will does not exist. God knows everything ----God knows our thoughts, our deeds(the *how* and *why* we do things), knows to a degree of absolute certainty on our decisions or our reactions in every single possible scenario---- There is no free will.

We could say that if God does not literally interfere with our decisions then our free will still stands. However, I disagree with that statement. When you have an absolute certainty in predicting another individual's actions and thoughts, to you...he is no different from a robot that is already programmed. However, as long as he does not know that you are able to predict his actions and thoughts to a degree of absolute certainty, he would still consider he has free will.

I personally believe that in the eyes of God, everything is destined. But in the eyes of man, destiny is in your own hands.

Ontology.

2007-06-25T08:37:00.000-07:00

In philosophy, ontology is the study of being or existence and forms the basic subject matter of metaphysics. It seeks to describe or posit the basic categories and relationships of being or existence to define entities and types of entities within its framework.

Ontology can be said to study conceptions of reality; and, for the sake of distinction, at least to the extent to which its counterpart, epistemology can be represented as being a search for answers to the questions "What do you know?" and "How do you know it?", ontology can be represented as a search for an answer to the question "What are the knowable things?".

Some philosophers, notably of the Platonic school, contend that all nouns refer to entities. Other philosophers contend that some nouns do not name entities but provide a kind of shorthand way of referring to a collection (of either objects or events). In this latter view, mind, instead of referring to an entity, refers to a collection of mental events experienced by a person; society refers to a collection of persons with some shared interactions, and geometry refers to a collection of a specific kind of intellectual activity.

Any ontology must give an account of which words refer to entities, which do not, why, and what categories result. When one applies this process to nouns such as electrons, energy, contract, happiness, time, truth, causality, and God, ontology becomes fundamental to many branches of philosophy.

Ontology has one basic question: "What is there?" Different philosophers provide different answers to this question.

One common approach is to divide the extant entities into groups called "categories". However, these lists of categories are also quite different from one another. It is in this latter sense that ontology is applied to such fields as theology, information science and artificial intelligence.
Further examples of ontological questions include:

What is existence?

Is existence a property?

What does it mean to say something does not exist?

Are sentences expressing the existence or non-existence of something properly called propositions?

What is a physical object? Can one give an account of what it means to say that a physical object exists?

What constitutes the identity of an object?

When does an object go out of existence, as opposed to merely changing?

What features are the essential, as opposed to merely accidental, attributes of a given object?

What are an object's properties or relations and how are they related to the object itself?

What could it mean to say that non-physical objects (such as a time, souls) exist?

Why are we here? Why does anything exist, rather than nothingness? (Though, according to some, these questions may be more in the realm of cosmology.)

Metaphysics.

2007-06-25T08:29:00.000-07:00

Metaphysics is the branch of philosophy concerned with explaining the ultimate nature of reality, being, and the world. Metaphysics addresses questions that have existed for as long as the human race - many still with no definitive answer. Examples are:

What is the meaning of life?
What is the nature of reality?
What is mankind's place in the universe?
Are colors objective or subjective?
Does the world exist outside the mind?
What is the nature of objects, events, places?

A central branch of metaphysics is ontology, the investigation into what types of things there are in the world and what relations these things bear to one another. The metaphysician also attempts to clarify the notions by which people understand the world, including existence, objecthood, property, space, time, causality, and possibility.

More recently, the term "metaphysics" has also been used more loosely to refer to "subjects that are beyond the physical world". A "metaphysical bookstore", for instance, is not one that sells books on ontology, but rather one that sells books on spirits, faith healing, crystal power, occultism, and other such topics.

Before the development of modern science, scientific questions were addressed as a part of metaphysics known as "natural philosophy"; the term "science" itself meant "knowledge". The Scientific Revolution, however, made natural philosophy an empirical and experimental activity unlike the rest of philosophy, and by the end of the eighteenth century it had begun to be called "science" in order to distinguish it from philosophy. Metaphysics therefore became the philosophical enquiry into subjects beyond the physical world. Natural philosophy and science may still be considered topics of metaphysics, if the definition of "metaphysics" includes empirical explanations.

Ethics.

2007-06-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

Ethics.

Ethics "moral philosophy", a major branch of philosophy, is the study of values and customs of a person or group. It covers the analysis and employment of concepts such as right and wrong, good and evil, and responsibility. It is divided into three primary areas: meta-ethics (the study of the concept of ethics), normative ethics (the study of how to determine ethical values), and applied ethics (the study of the use of ethical values).

Meta- ethics:
There are two main strands of thought, "non-realism" and "realism," that attempt to explain what ethical values and claims are actually about.

One strand is commonly termed 'non-realism', because it suggests moral values are creations, dependent on people's feelings and goals regarding themselves and others (emotivism or prescriptivism) or on their belief systems (cultural or individual relativism). Despite the name 'non-realist', such theories may see reality as important in shaping the human choice of ethical values. This could occur indirectly by, for example, the evolutionary or developmental shaping of human psychology, or directly through, for example, people assessing and debating the likely consequences of their actions.

Another group of meta-ethical theories, called 'realism', by contrast, hold that moral value is somehow an intrinsic property of the world and that ethical principles are simply discovered or intuited. Under this view, ethical values held by people can at best reflect an independent truth by which their validity must be judged. These theories may be derived from theology or naturalism.

Normative ethics:
Normative ethics bridges the gap between meta-ethics and applied ethics. It is the attempt to arrive at general moral standards that tell us how to judge right from wrong, or good from bad, and how to live moral lives. This may involve articulating the character or good habits that we should acquire, the duties that we should follow, or the consequences of our behaviour on ourselves and others. There are three main approaches to normative ethics.

Normative ethicists who follow the first approach are often called virtue ethicists, and articulate the various virtues or good habits that should be acquired. Aristotle is a pioneer virtue ethicist.

Normative ethicists who follow the second approach are often called deontological ethicists. Immanuel Kant set out a large framework for a deontological normative ethical theory.
Normative ethicists who follow the third approach are often called consequentialists or (specifically in regard to the theory of the greatest good for the greatest number) utilitarians; John Stuart Mill set out a large framework for a utilitarian normative ethics.

Applied ethics:
Bernard Crick in 1982 offered a socially-centred view, that politics was the only applied ethics, that it was how cases were really resolved, and that "political virtues" were in fact necessary in all matters where human morality and interests were destined to clash.

The lines of distinction between meta-ethics, normative ethics, and applied ethics are often blurry. For example, the issue of abortion is an applied ethical topic since it involves a specific type of controversial behavior. But it also depends on more general normative principles, such as the right of self-rule and the right to life, which are litmus tests for determining the morality of that procedure. The issue also rests on metaethical issues such as, "where do rights come from?" and "what kind of beings have rights?"

Another concept which blurs ethics is moral luck. A drunk driver may safely reach home without injuring anyone, or he might accidentally kill a child who runs out into the street while he is driving home. The action of driving while drunk is usually seen as equally wrong in each case, but its dependence on chance affects the degree to which the driver is held responsible.

Determinism, Empiricism, Epistemology.

2007-06-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

Determinism.

Determinism is the philosophical proposition that every event, including human cognition and behavior, decision and action, is causally determined by an unbroken chain of prior occurrences. Determinism may also be defined as the thesis that there is at any instant exactly one physically possible future.

Empiricism.

In philosophy generally, empiricism is a theory of knowledge emphasizing the role of experience, especially sensory perception, in the formation of ideas, while discounting the notion of innate ideas.

In the philosophy of science, empiricism is a theory of knowledge which emphasizes those aspects of scientific knowledge that are closely related to experience, especially as formed through deliberate experimental arrangements. It is a fundamental requirement of scientific method that all hypotheses and theories must be tested against observations of the natural world, rather than resting solely on a priori reasoning, intuition, or revelation. Hence, science is considered to be methodologically empirical in nature.

The term "empiricism" has a dual etymology. It derives from a more specific classical Greek and Roman usage of empiric, referring to a physician whose skill derives from practical experience as opposed to instruction in theory.

Epistemology.

Epistemology or theory of knowledge is the branch of philosophy that studies the nature, methods, limitations, and validity of knowledge and belief.

Much of the debate in this field has focused on analyzing the nature of knowledge and how it relates to similar notions such as truth, belief, and justification. It also deals with the means of production of knowledge, as well as skepticism about different knowledge claims. In other words, epistemology primarily addresses the following questions:
"What is knowledge?", "How is knowledge acquired?", and "What do people know?".

Sometimes, when people say that they believe in something, what they mean is that they predict that it will prove to be useful or successful in some sense — perhaps someone might "believe in" his or her favorite football team. This is not the kind of belief usually addressed within epistemology. The kind that is dealt with, as such, is where "to believe something" simply means any cognitive content held as true — e.g., to believe that the sky is blue is to think that the proposition, "The sky is blue," is true.

Knowledge implies belief. Consider the statement, "I know P, but I don't believe that P is true." This statement is contradictory. To know P is, among other things, to believe that P is true.

If someone believes something, he or she thinks that it is true, but he or she may be mistaken. This is not the case with knowledge. For example, suppose that Jeff thinks that a particular bridge is safe, and attempts to cross it; unfortunately, the bridge collapses under his weight. We might say that Jeff believed that the bridge was safe, but that his belief was mistaken. It would not be accurate to say that he knew that the bridge was safe, because plainly it was not. For something to count as knowledge, it must actually be true.

Aesthetics, Agnosticism, Atheism.

2007-06-25T07:20:00.000-07:00

Aesthetics.

Aesthetics is a branch of philosophy, which is the study of sensory or sensori-emotional values, sometimes called judgments of sentiment and taste. Aesthetics is closely associated with the philosophy of art.

Agnosticism.

Agnosticism means "unknowable," and is the philosophical view that the truth value of certain claims—particularly theological claims regarding metaphysics, afterlife or the existence of God, god(s), deities, or even ultimate reality—is unknown or, depending on the form of agnosticism, inherently unknowable due to the nature of subjective experience.

Agnostics claim either that it is not possible to have absolute or certain knowledge of God or gods; or, alternatively, that while individual certainty may be possible, they personally have no knowledge. Agnosticism in both cases involves some form of skepticism.

Demographic research services normally list agnostics in the same category as atheists and non-religious people, although this can be misleading depending on the number of agnostic theists who identify themselves first as agnostics and second as followers of a particular religion.

Enlightenment philosopher David Hume proved that meaningful statements about the universe are always qualified by some degree of doubt. We fallible human beings cannot obtain absolute certainty except in trivial cases where a statement is true by definition (as in, "all bachelors are unmarried" or "all triangles have three sides"). All rational statements that assert a factual claim about the universe that begin "I believe that ...." are simply shorthand for, "Based on my knowledge, understanding, and interpretation of the prevailing evidence, I tentatively believe that...." For instance, when I say, "I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald shot John F. Kennedy," I'm not asserting an absolute truth but a tentative belief based on my interpretation of the assembled evidence. Even though I'll set my alarm clock tonight before retiring because "I believe the sun will rise tomorrow," even that belief is tentative, tempered by a small but finite degree of doubt (the sun might explode; the earth might be shattered in collision with a rogue asteroid or I might die and the sun will never rise for me).

In that light, what sets apart agnosticism from the general skepticism that permeates modern Western philosophy? First, the nature of god is the crux of the issue, not whether god merely exists. So the nature and attributes of god are of foremost concern, not whether he's merely "out there."

Agnosticism maintains that the nature and attributes of god are beyond the grasp of man's finite and limited mind; those divine attributes transcend human comprehension. The concept of God is just too big a subject to wrap our minds around. Humans might apply terms such as those found in the Catholic Encyclopedia that attempt to characterize god, terms such as "infinitely perfect spiritual substance," "omnipotent," "eternal," "incomprehensible," "infinite in intellect and will and in every perfection" but, the agnostic would assert, these terms only underscore the inadequacy of our mental equipment to understand so vast, ephemeral and elusive a concept.

Although some agnostics do not believe in god and are therefore, by definition, also atheists, agnosticism is not a different word for atheism. An agnostic may believe devoutly in god. In fact, many mainstream believers in the West embrace an agnostic creed. As noted above, for instance, Roman Catholic dogma about the nature of God contains many strictures of agnosticism. An agnostic who believes in God despairs of ever fully comprehending what it is he believes in. But some believing agnostics assert that that very absurdity strengthens their belief rather than weakens it.

Bertrand Russell's pamphlet, Why I Am Not a Christian, based on a speech delivered in 1927 and later included in a book of the same title, is considered a classic statement of agnosticism. The essay briefly lays out Russell’s objections to some of the arguments for the existence of God before discussing his moral objections to Christian teachings. He then calls upon his readers to "stand on their own two feet and look fair and square at the world," with a "fearless attitude and a free intelligence."

In 1939, Russell gave a lecture on The existence and nature of God, in which he characterized himself as an agnostic. He said:
The existence and nature of God is a subject of which I can discuss only half. If one arrives at a negative conclusion concerning the first part of the question, the second part of the question does not arise; and my position, as you may have gathered, is a negative one on this matter.

However, later in the same lecture, discussing modern non-anthropomorphic concepts of God, Russell states:
That sort of God is, I think, not one that can actually be disproved, as I think the omnipotent and benevolent creator can.

In Russell's 1947 pamphlet, Am I An Atheist Or An Agnostic? (subtitled A Plea For Tolerance In The Face Of New Dogmas), he ruminates on the problem of what to call himself:
As a philosopher, if I were speaking to a purely philosophic audience I should say that I ought to describe myself as an Agnostic, because I do not think that there is a conclusive argument by which one can prove that there is not a God.

On the other hand, if I am to convey the right impression to the ordinary man in the street I think I ought to say that I am an Atheist, because when I say that I cannot prove that there is not a God, I ought to add equally that I cannot prove that there are not the Homeric gods.

In his 1953 essay, What Is An Agnostic? Russell states:
An agnostic thinks it impossible to know the truth in matters such as God and the future life with which Christianity and other religions are concerned. Or, if not impossible, at least impossible at the present time.

However, later in the essay, Russell says:
I think that if I heard a voice from the sky predicting all that was going to happen to me during the next twenty-four hours, including events that would have seemed highly improbable, and if all these events then produced to happen, I might perhaps be convinced at least of the existence of some superhuman intelligence.

Note that he didn't say "supreme" or "supernatural" intelligence, as these terms are metaphysically loaded.

Atheism.

Atheism, as a philosophical view, is the position that either affirms the nonexistence of gods or rejects theism. When defined more broadly, atheism is the absence of belief in deities, alternatively called nontheism. Although atheists are commonly assumed to be irreligious, some religions, such as Buddhism, have been characterized as atheistic.

Many self-described atheists are skepticel of all supernatural beings and cite a lack of empirical evidence for the existence of deities. Others argue for atheism on philosophical, social or historical grounds. Although many self-described atheists tend toward secular philosophies such as humanism and naturalism, there is no one ideology or set of behaviors to which all atheists adhere.

The term atheism originated as a pejorative epithet applied to any person or belief in conflict with established religion. With the spread of freethought, scientific skepticism, and criticism of religion, the term began to gather a more specific meaning and was sometimes used as a self-description by atheists.

The claim that atheism requires faith or unproven assumptions is a common argument leveled against atheists of all stripes. In this form of argument, critics of atheism typically employ the term "faith" in the sense often employed by atheists themselves, meaning a "blind" or unwarranted belief. Faith, often taken to mean, "religious faith", does not inherently involve religion; i.e having faith in the colour of the sky, or the word of a weather-reporter is not religious.

At times, this argument consists of laying the burden of proof on atheism, or in the case of agnostics and weak atheists, laying it on both strong atheism and theism. However, laying the burden of proof on atheism may be difficult because it is impossible to prove a negative. While it might be theoretically possible to one day find reasonably persuasive evidence of the existence of a deity, it is impossible to find evidence of any thing's nonexistence. As such, arguments for strong atheism consist primarily of arguments against theism, which is in keeping with claims that atheism in general is only the lack of a belief rather than a belief itself. Some strong atheists argue that, since they see the burden of proof as being upon theism, they are under no obligation to offer arguments that seek to actively disprove theism. Instead, strong atheism is a default position, like disbelief in Santa Claus, that they feel ought to be held unless and until that burden of proof is shouldered. However, weak atheists and agnostics feel that neither theism nor strong atheism are a proper default position to be taken and hence labelling both theism's and strong atheism's calls for proof to be argumentum ad ignoratiam.

One atheistic response is to emphasize that (weak) atheism is a rejection or lack of belief, not a belief in itself. This argument is often summarized by reference to Don Hirschberg's famous saying, "calling atheism a religion is like calling bald a hair color." Another atheistic response to this argument is to state that the word "faith" in this context, as asserted with respect to theist "belief" verses atheist "belief," means something very different in the two contexts. Faith can mean 'complete confidence in a person or plan, etc.' Faith can also mean 'Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence'. When a theist speaks of his faith, it is argued, he refers to the latter definitions. When he wishes to assert that "atheists have faith, too", the only definition that fits is the first, but his argument implies the latter definitions, nonetheless.

Some people have, in response to this argument, drawn the analogy of Russell's teapot.

Russell's teapot, sometimes called the Celestial Teapot, was an analogy first coined by the philosopher Bertrand Russell (1872-1970), intended to refute the idea that the burden of proof lies upon the sceptic to disprove unfalsifiable claims of religions. In an article entitled "Is There a God?", commissioned (but never published) by Illustrated magazine in 1952, Russell said the following:

If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit, nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes. But if I were to go on to say that, since my assertion cannot be disproved, it is an intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense. If, however, the existence of such a teapot were affirmed in ancient books, taught as the sacred truth every Sunday, and instilled into the minds of children at school, hesitation to believe in its existence would become a mark of eccentricity and entitle the doubter to the attentions of the psychiatrist in an enlightened age or of the Inquisitor in an earlier time.

Axiology.

Axiology, is the study of value or quality. It is often thought to include ethics and aesthetics—philosophical fields that depend crucially on notions of value—and sometimes it is held to lay the groundwork for these fields, and thus to be similar to value theory and meta-ethics. The term was used in the 19th and early 20th centuries, but in recent decades, value theory has tended to replace it in discussions of the nature of value or goodness in general. One area in which research continues to be pursued is so-called formal axiology, or the attempt to lay out principles regarding value with mathematical rigor.

The term is also used sometimes in economics.

Top 10 : Signs She's Flirting With You.(you know you want to read this)

2007-06-21T16:01:00.000-07:00

Flirting is something which I would consider as an art. It takes much practice to execute the subtle signals of interest with perfect timing. Thankfully, there is no shortage of flirting tips for men out there. However, flirting is only half the battle. To truly make your rapport with a woman successful, you need to recognize when she's flirting with you .

Women are masters of subtlety, so it's your job to remain especially aware of every gesture, every word, and every move she throws your way. Always remember that attentiveness is the key.

Although the signs that a woman is interested in you can boil down to these 10 points, you need to know that any single point can be deceptive. The lady you're chatting up may be an attention-seeking serial flirter with no intentions of ever going on a date with you.

Or she might simply be very nice and friendly with everyone, not just you. If you see her often (at school, college or work for example), a good way to tell is by paying attention to how she reacts to others. If it's the same way she behaves with you, then don't get your hopes up.

The following flirting signs are good for all settings, whether in a coffee shop, restaurant, nightclub, Asia Cafe, heck anywhere will do actually. So sharpen your senses and read on.

Number 10: She keeps glancing over.
Are her eyes aimed at you every time you look her way? And does she avert her gaze whenever you catch her staring? Then you might have a good one here. If she doesn't prolong the eye contact, then she's probably shy and needs a little coaxing from you. Go up to her, introduce yourself, and get her talking.

Number 9: She smiles at you.
The smile is the ultimate sign of openness and friendliness, assuming it is genuine of course. Many people force a smile when trying to be polite, but they tend to be fairly obvious about it. If she shows her teeth and has that sparkle in her eye, then you can deduce that she's enjoying your company. Your only job is to keep her smiling by smiling back.

Number 8: She goes out of her way to get you to notice her.
If, on her way from point A to point B, she takes an unnecessary detour through point C (you), she might be trying to get your attention. For instance, if she walks by your table "on her way" to the washroom in a restaurent, but your table is located at the opposite end of the restrooms, she is probably interested. Why else would she be taking the long way? If she smiles at you on her way, consider your job half done.

Number 7: She plays with her hair.
Women's hair is a source of power and confidence to them -- why else would they get so devastated after a bad haircut? They tap into its power at key moments, subconsciously unleashing its seductive potential. If you see her twirling her finger through it or throwing it around, like in a shampoo commercial, then you have a potential flirt in your midst.

This goes for body language in general. Some women like exposing their necks, prepping their clothes, or placing their arms in front of them in a way that their biceps push their breasts together, augmenting their cleavage. Its truly hilarious when you notice these things. Sometimes I just can't help laughing. Some magazines tell women to let their shoes dangle at their toes, displaying the curvature of their feet, which men, apparently, associate with their other curves. However, if she's crossing her arms, it means she's distancing herself. Be alert.

Number 6: She initiates the conversation.
Taking the first step to initiate a connection with you is a huge sign that she's interested. If she tells you something like "You remind me of someone I know," which begs a response and subsequent conversation, that's a concrete sign.

During the conversation, she may further convey her interest by asking you open-ended questions -- watch out fellas, they're starting to use our own weapons against us! She might also whisper "secrets" to you, bringing your faces close together, perhaps letting you get a good whiff of her perfume or probably her shampoo. Is she repeating your name back to you?

Number 5: She laughs at your jokes.
When you relate a funny story, does she throw her head back in a vigorous laughter or does she just look at you and say, "Is that supposed to be funny?" A big part of flirting involves reactions to the partner, so if she acts captivated by your words, you're in the green. Other reactions that convey approval include asking "really?", "wow" and opening her mouth in amused disbelief.

Number 4: She asks if you like certain activities.
Does she ask you about your hobbies? Is she being more specific, and asking you if you like a particular pastime? Although she is not actually asking you for a date, it's an implied way of doing it. She could be leading up to asking you out or paving the ground for you to pop the question instead. If the activity in question is dancing, movies or dinner, then it is usually almost certain.

Number 3: She pays you a compliment.
Women are sparse with compliments, so if she throws one your way, you can pat yourself on the back.(Im talking about women with class here, not some underage cheap slut you knew back in college) This is especially good if it has to do with your physique, as this implies that she is attracted to you. Another way she may demonstrate her interest is by repeating your name, letting you know that you are memorable and establishing a closer, more intimate connection with her.

Number 2: She makes sexual comments.
Some women like to put themselves in the mood by talking about things that turn them on. It brings out their wild side. So if she steers the conversation to sexy topics, she could be trying to pull you into a flirting crescendo that might lead to a veritable verbal foreplay. Most times they will keep it understated and tasteful, so you should do the same. A crass slip-up is a sure-fire way to ruin the rapport.

Number 1: She touches you.
When a woman breaks the contact barrier during a conversation, it is almost a sure sign that she's interested. It can be as obvious as touching your arm or knee while making a point, or as faint as having her knees come into contact with yours under the table. But you must make sure that she makes the first skin convergence.

A less direct way is if she mirrors your body language, which is something women do subconsciously. When you lean in, she leans in. When you rest your elbows on the table, she does the same. Duplicating your actions is her way of showing you that she's "in-synch" with you.

Conclusion->>>>>

Since some of the above signals could just be gestures of friendliness on a woman's part, you should count a minimum of four before you conclude that she is, indeed, flirting with you. If she commits five or more, your evening is set.

So now you know the theory, but recognizing her signals on the spot takes time, especially when they're too subtle to be detected by the untrained eye. And though you should constantly be alert, don't get yourself into a state of tense vigilance, where you're looking for nothing else but the aforementioned signs. Keep cool, relax and enjoy yourself. In time, women's flirtation techniques will become as clear as traffic signals.

The Serenity Prayer.

2007-06-21T15:53:00.000-07:00

The Serenity Prayer .

You have probably come across this well-known prayer:

Lord grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Usually when I say this prayer, it will usually be at a time when I am unhappy about some aspect of life that I want to change. The prayer therefore helps me to see that unhappiness lies in the gap between the way life is and the way I want it to be.

The prayer then encourages me to ask for help to change one of two things. I either need help in actively changing something about the way life is. Or I need help in accepting that life cannot be as I want it to be.

If I decide to change what I can, then it requires me to act courageously in one way or another. The word "courage" reminds me that there will be inevitable obstacles and failures along this path that I must overcome.

If I decide that I cannot change the way life is, then the prayer guides me to ask for the serenity of surrendering my hopes in life. I am to pray for the serenity of accepting that it is OK to fail to achieve the life I wanted.

Of course it takes wisdom to decide which choice to make, but notice that on both paths of this simple prayer we need the courage or serenity to accept failures of one sort or another.

The Six Things That Attracts WOMEN.

2007-06-20T16:44:00.000-07:00

The 6 things that attracts women.

I've done a lot of research on this topic, and I believe that women are most attracted to these six thing:

1) Means (Wealth, possessions, gifts to them or providing for them)
2) Power (Influence, Leadership, provide safety)
3) Fame/Popular
4) Looks/physical appeal (Including height)
5) Exclusivity (already taken, hard to get, affiliation, gay, exceptionally different)
6) Personality (Humor, creativity, romance, intelligence, mystery etc.)

Now, numbers one through five are largely out of your immediate control. If you're not rich, you're probably not going to get rich this week. If you're not famous or tall, you're probably not going to be in a hit movie or grow 6 inches in the next 24 hours.

So that leaves us with number six, PERSONALITY.

The good news is that as far as I'm concerned, your personality is your GREATEST ASSET in the success-with-women game.

Fortunately, it's the one thing you can change. And it's the one thing that can OVERCOME all of the rest. After you've done what you can to look your best, etc. you have to develop a personality that's absolutely magnetic.

By the way, the one quality that attracts women the most (and keeps them attracted) is not something that they can initially 'look' for. It's the way they FEEL when they are with you or thinking of you.

In the end, if you don't have wealth, power, fame, or looks you're going to have to use your personality to make them FEEL good. In the end, your personality is the most powerful weapon you have...

A couple of interesting questions regarding girls...ZzZ

2007-06-20T15:42:00.000-07:00

What should I do if I’m already seeing this girl for a while, and I really want to create a special evening?

Lol...the very famous question...

Always creates a substantial amount of headache this is...

If you have been seeing this girl for awhile, and you REALLY want to blow her mind, DO SEVERAL THINGS THAT SHE LIKES ALL IN ONE DAY OR EVENING.

Take her to her favorite restaurant, give her a gift of her favorite flowers, wear the clothes that you know she likes, rub her shoulders, and, um... give her some good lovin'.

Romance is wonderful, as long as you don't overdo it and come across as extremely LAME.

Focus all of the things that she likes into one small window, and good things will come of it.Then don't do them again for awhile... AT ALL.

She'll talk about that night forever, and she'll always be wondering when the next one will come.

If you had no choice but to come up with how to get a woman to like you in just a couple of paragraphs, what would you say?

I hate this particular question. No doubt about that. They ask this stupid shit because they assume that there is one magical easy stress free way to get a girl to like you. But nevermind, I shall attempt to answer this question.

The way to make a woman like you is to:

1- Not act like all the other average guys out there.

2- Make her laugh.

3- Be unpredictable, challenging and mysterious.

Of course there are more ways, but these are a start.
Don't act nervous or uncomfortable.
Treat her like you've known her all your life... almost like she's your little sister or your little cousin sister.
Tease her and make her laugh.
Have fun. Keep that on your mind all the time. It reduces the stress and tension building inside.
Don't be PREDICTABLE. It makes you lame.
Be confident, be a goddamn man. Being shy and scared is just so not a guy thing.
Do things that surprise her.
Say things that keep her wanting to hear more. If you can't keep her interested with your looks and physical appeal, do it with your words.
Tell interesting stories and don't answer her questions directly... instead, make her work for the answers.

That's as brief as I can be already.

How do I get a girl's attention to begin with? In other words, what do I say to her so that she will want to talk to me for that minute you talk about? I don't feel like saying, "Excuse me, Hi... my name is... do you work around here?". And I don’t think it would be the best solution for this. Do you?

You know, it's funny...
This question is a question that every guy in the world wants to know the answer to.
It's a simple answer... and it's a DAMN complex answer at the same time.

Remember this and remember this well. The most important thing when it comes to approaching women you don't know is being able to do it as comfortably and naturally just like how you would if you would be approaching ur mommy.

If you get nervous, shaky and freaked out the woman will pick up on this... and it will make HER nervous.

You can walk up to a woman and say, "Hi, I don't have time to talk, but if you're single I'd really like to talk to you sometime... do you have a handphone number so that I could reach you again?" And if you do it in a calm, comfortable way, you can get a HIGH percentage of women to give you their number right there on the spot with no conversation needed.On the other hand, if you're freaked out, nervous and acting like you've just been caught masturbating by your mom or something then what you say does'nt matter at all.

Experts estimate that approximately 7% of your communication is the words you use and 93% is your voice tone and body language.

In other words, the WORDS aren't very important at all.
So, how do you get the voice tone and body language under control and more importantly, your EMOTIONS?
Well, this is a simple and complex problem as well.

Personally, I have found that understanding exactly how and why women feel sexual attraction for men has DRAMATICALLY changed the way I interact with women.

It's the way you make them feel... You've got to be calm, you've got to be confident.
And practice makes perfect. Remember that.

And remember this... you can choose who to love and probably even choose who to like. But you can't choose exactly who you would want to be attracted to. Attraction is not a choice.

Lets talk about perceiving people and judging them a little bit... =)

2007-06-20T14:36:00.000-07:00

Perceiving people and Judging them.

Another aspect of human nature is the tendency to evaluate and judge people.
Consider the following situation.

Adam is a perfectionist. He expects only perfection and nothing less from himself and also from others. When he expected 100% from himself then he expected it also from others.
However, when he was able to accept that it was OK for him to make mistakes, then he became more tolerant of other people's mistakes. Driving became more of a pleasure for him after he became more tolerant of the poor skills of other drivers.

It seems more than likely that there are many other people who would be more tolerant of others if they became more tolerant of themselves.

The Pharisees that Jesus compared to poisonous snakes and rotting corpses maintained VERY high standards.

I suspect that in fact they managed to keep their own rules of cleanliness, of giving
precisely one tenth of their income to the temple and so on. People with money and power and time can manage this if they put their minds to it.

But it is clear that they made other people's lives a misery by insisting on that same "100% or you are a miserable sinner" rule for others. Sometimes we need to understand that some people are just different from us. If you are an introvert, you can't be expecting everyone in this world to be an introvert as well. The same goes if you're an extrovert. Before you judge or evaluate anyone's actions, always began with trying to understand the reason and the purpose of the actions and evaluate what were the cause of the actions.

The world would indeed be a much pleasent place to live in if everyone were to walk around with this mentality. It is okay to judge people, but it is not okay to judge people wrongly and throw unfounded and unreasonable accusations around.

A big part of the New Testament message concerns the battle between: "It is not OK to fail! Pharisees rule OK!" and "It's OK to fail ... God loves you still!"

Today that battle is between those perfectionists who criticise failure in everyone and those who more realistically and happily accept that some failures are inevitable.

- A perfectionist is someone who consumes and generates pains and then proceeds to infect them unto others -

Lets talk about Ambition...

2007-06-20T14:29:00.000-07:00

Ambition.

When Fiona was a girl she dreamed of becoming a ballerina. She was good at dancing and worked hard at it. She suffered intense training and fasting for years. Did this lead to success? What do you think? How many successful ballerinas are there? And how many girls like Fiona are there? Was she happy?

When Edwin was a teenager he played the guitar and sing. He saw himself becoming a famous pop star. He bought expensive equipment. He formed a band. He played gigs. Did this lead to success? What do you think? How many singers make their names? How many boys like Edwin are there? Was he happy?

Estella was a very pretty girl who was encouraged to see herself as one day becoming a top model. She devoted all her teenage years to this ambition, thinking only of her figure, looks and fashion. Did she become a successful model? What do you think? How many models make it to the exclusive top? Was she happy?

As a boy Brandon dreamed of becoming a famous footballer. He imagined the glory and the fame and the cars and the clothes and all the rest. Like many other boys he worked hard at it. Did this lead to success? What do you think? How many footballers make even a decent living? Was he happy?

Fiona's friend just enjoyed dancing, Edwin had a friend who just enjoyed playing the organ, Estella had a friend who just liked to dress well and Brandon's friend just enjoyed playing football at the weekend. They are failures by the standards of Fiona and Edwin and Estella and Brandon. But since they do not have a big gap between who they are and who they want to be they are happy with their lives.

We need to understand the difference between pursuing a goal and obsessing over a goal. Sometimes its best to just try and do our very best to achive our goals and in case you fail...you'll know you have done your best with no regrets. Once fallen, does not mean forever fallen my friend. =)

Who would actually enjoy watching a movie where there is no set-backs or failures at all?

2007-06-20T14:24:00.000-07:00

Who'd watch a film without failures?

I wonder what your favourite kind of film or book is?

Whatever the genre is, try to imagine what it would be like if the main characters never had the slightest setback, or made the slightest mistake.

Suppose that it was a love film in which he loved her the moment he saw her, and she loved him in return and from then on everything went well. There were no misunderstandings, no rivals, no obstacles, no causes of unhappiness. There is scene after scene of unmitigated happiness: happy meals, happy sunbathing, happy shopping, happy kissing. Would you enjoy it?

Suppose it was a war film or a Western in which the Good Guys have it all their own way right from the start. They are in no danger because the Bad Guys, perceiving the weakness of their moral position, quietly hand over their weapons and they all join together and sing in the church choir for the next ninety minutes. Would you enjoy it?

I quite agree that in much but not all of this fiction we expect and desire a satisfactory resolution in the end. But notice that it is the failures along the way that make the films worth seeing: the obstacles to Romeo and Juliet's love, James Bond's failure to spot the ambush that gets him into the clutches of the villain and so on.

It can at times be worth reflecting that if we had no setbacks or failures in our lives they would lose much that brings out the best in us. It's OK to fail - tackling a failure or its consequences provides part of the true drama of life.

- This world is a movie, the people in this world are the actor's and actresses of it. What exactly is your role? You decide... -

Let's talk about stress...

2007-06-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

Stress.

Stress to the engineer is what happens when there are two opposing forces acting against each other on some material. A piece of steel can be stressed by machine by either pulling at each end or pushing at each end. Strain is the physical effect the stress has on the material.

When a person is stressed it is because there are two voices within saying opposite things. They might easily be, "Go to work!" and "I want to stay at home!"

You can't stress a material by a single force: you will only start it moving. And the same applies to people: if there is just one force on us we tend to move without strain. It is only if there is an opposition that we become stressed and feel strain.

A great deal of the stress in life is a result of the battle between on the one hand what we feel we OUGHT to do, have GOT to do or MUST do and on the other hand the things
that we WANT to do, LIKE to do or DESIRE to do.

The fear of failure is often the whip behind OUGHT - GOT - MUST making them seem irresistible. And the worship of Success - material, sexual or social - generally intensifies the WANT - LIKE - DESIRE into cravings that also seem irresistible. Since these two forces are generally opposed, together they intensify the stress and strain of life.

And so a wonderful antidote to so many of the stress of life is to smile and say, "It's OK to fail to do everything I feel I ought to, and OK to fail to have everything I want to have." That leads to satisfaction and happiness.

- He who is the most content is the richest among all -

Feelings. A very delicated word, an even more delicate thing...

2007-06-19T19:51:00.000-07:00

Feelings. A very delicate word. An even more delicate thing...

Lets talk about feelings.

Would I be right in suggesting that a failure should never make me unhappy? No. It seems to me that to be human means to feel feelings: we are not machines or computers. And among those feelings must be counted feelings of disappointment, and regret and grief and unhappiness or woe.

Now small failures of skill should not evoke much of any of these feelings. But larger failures in life seem to me inevitably to lead to woe. This totally depends solely on the individual.

To deny a failure is to submit to the lasting discomfort of living a lie. To accept a failure involves accepting any sadness that results. But that sadness will pass in time. This is a fact. Cry, it helps.
Believe me on that. I know. You can cry when noone see's you. That's if you're too coward to be yourself. Well, I for one would like to consider myself as a coward.

It is not of the nature of feelings themselves to last forever, if they see the light of day. An icy sorrow may last in the soul for ever if kept in refrigerating concealment. But if it is brought into the warmth of consciousness and human talk it will slowly melt. And a burning resentment can be heated by the pressure cooker of repression, but will cool if expressed. Any feeling freely admitted will pass.

As woe will come, so woe will go. And when it has passed there is room for new hope and new life and new joy. There is a time for despair and agony. There is also a time for joy and happiness.

The rain will pour. The sun will also shine.

How long will the rain pour? How long will the sun shine? Sometimes they are governed by circumstances which we have no control over. However, most of the time, it's all in our mind.

We control how long and how much will the rain pour. We control how long and much will the sun shine. Do something about what can be done. Do not dwell on things which we have no control over. Learn to tell the differences. Learn to accept the differences.

A short little poem over here for understanding and enjoyment. =) Forgive me for its short length. Sometimes, short and simple is the best method to intrigue people.

Joy and Woe

Man was made for joy and woe
And when this we rightly know
Through the world we safely go

Joy and woe are woven fine
A clothing for the soul divine
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine

If something is worth doing, then it is worth doing badly.

2007-06-19T18:40:00.000-07:00

Many people are brought up on the old saying, "If a thing is worth doing it then it must be worth doing well."
I take it that this means that if you have chosen to do something then it makes sense to give it your best shot.

But sadly many people interpret it to mean "If you do not do it well then you are bad or stupid or lazy." And this makes them decide that the sensible course is not to do it at all.

In practice therefore the old saying becomes, "If a thing HAS to be done well then it will be such a pain that it is NOT worth doing it." And this, of course, leads to a lot not being done. Try to understand these few very simply analogy.

If you need to eat then it is worth preparing some food even if you cannot manage cordon bleu standard. If there is a hole in the roof then it is worth repairing it even if the roof does not look as good as new. If you feel that that girl is worth meeting then it is better to go over and say anything rather than to delay so long in trying to dream up that perfect witty, wise and wonderful opening remark that someone else gets in first with a banal, "Hi! How are you?" If an opportunity has come up in life, do NOT be put off because you cannot manage it perfectly at first. Chances are nobody could. If it's worth doing, it is worth accepting the usual beginner's mistakes and failures. If it is worth doing then it is certainly worth some failures along the way.

Be happy with what you have achieved. It's OK if it is far from perfect; you have given it your best shot.

Men succeed when they realize that their failures are the preparation for their victories.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson -

How to manipulate people.

2007-06-19T17:59:00.000-07:00

How to manipulate people .
It is so easy to manipulate someone who is chained to Success or driven by a fear of Failure.

A woman who wants above all to be a successful wife is easily made to do anything at all that her husband requires. "But Dear, Mrs. Jones always drops her husband off at the station, and I'm sure you can manage things better than her."

A person who wants monetary success more than anything else can be quite easily taken in by a scam. "I don't need to tell someone as wise as you in the way of money that there are certain insider tricks that help the fortunate few make a mint. Now if you have a few spare thousand to invest ...."

A man who wants above all to be successful at work can easily be got to work twice the hours for half the money in return for a promise. "Bill, you are fantastic. I have a feeling that the Big Boss has his eye on you for Big Things. Now you are the only one I can trust with this important deal, but I am afraid it will mean working extra hours ...."

If the manipulator estimates that the stick rather than the carrot is the better approach then the fear of failure is used.

"OK Jack. There are two doors. One has got a 'Yes, Sir' on it, the other has got 'Good-bye'. You choose."

"I love you, Colin, but I love Edward too, in a sort of way. He is very keen on me, and bought me this lovely coat last week ...." And Colin, faced with the prospect of losing her to Edward has to up the ante himself if he is not to fail.

I think you will find that every single time you have been manipulated into a bad bargain it has been as a result of someone either playing on your desire for some form of success or on your fear of some form of failure. That is why, to avoid being manipulated it helps to be able to scorn "Triumph and Disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same."

LoveLy CoiNciDenCe- A Romance Story

2007-06-17T12:34:00.001-07:00

In 1945, there was a young boy of 14 in a concentration camp. He was tall, thin but had a bright smile. Every day, a young girl came by on the other side of the fence. She noticed the boy and asked him if he spoke Polish, and he said yes. She said he'd looked hungry, and he said he was. She then reached in her pocket and gave him her apple. He thanked her and she went on her way. The next day, she came by again, bringing with her another apple which she gave him. Each day, she walked by the outside of the fence, hoping to see him, and when she did, she happily handed him an apple in exchange for conversation.

One day, he told her not to come by anymore. He told her he was being shipped to another concentration camp. As he walked away with tears streaming down his face, he wondered if he'd ever see her again. She was the only kind soul he'd seen across the fence.

He made it out of the concentration camp, and immigrated to America. In 1957, his friends had fixed him up on a blind date. He had no idea who the woman was. He picked her up, and during dinner began talking of Poland and the concentration camp. She said she was in Poland at that time. She said she used to talk to a boy and gave him apples daily. He asked if this boy was tall, skinny and if he had told her that she shouldn't come back because he was leaving. She said yes.

It was her, the young girl who came by every day to give him apples. After 12 years, after the war and in another country.....they had met again. What are the odds? He proposed to her on that very night and told her he'd never again let her go. They are still happily married today.

Now that, my friends, is a love story. Miracles do happen, and there is a greater force at work in our lives.

What Life Is All About.

2007-06-17T12:05:00.000-07:00

Life isn't about keeping score. It's not about how many friends you have. Or how many people call you. Or how accepted or unaccepted you are. Not about if you have plans this weekend. Or if you're alone. It isn't about who you're dating, who you use to date, how many people you've dated, or if you haven't been with anyone at all. It isn't about who you have kissed. It's not about sex. It isn't about who your family is or how much money they have. Or what kind of car you drive. Or where you're sent to school.

It's not about how beautiful or ugly you are. Or what clothes you wear, what shoes you have on, or what kind of music you listen to. It's not about if your hair is blonde, red, black, brown, or green. Or if your skin is too light or too dark.

It's not about what grades you get, how smart you are, how smart everyone else thinks you are, or how smart standardized tests say you are. Or if this teacher likes you, or if this guy/girl likes you. Or what clubs you're in, or how good you are at "your" sport. It's not about representing your whole being on a piece of paper and seeing who will "accept the written you".

But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It's about who you make happy or unhappy purposefully. It's about keeping or betraying trust. It's about friendship, used as sanctity, or as a weapon. It's about what you say and mean, maybe hurtful, maybe heartening. About starting rumors and contributing to petty gossip. It's about what judgments you pass and why. And who your judgments are spread to.

It's about who you've ignored with full control and intention. It's about jealousy, fear, pain, ignorance, and revenge. It's about carrying inner hate and love, letting it grow and spreading it.

But most of all, it's about using your life to touch or poison other people's hearts in such a way that could never occurred alone. Only you choose the way these hearts are affected and those choices are what life is all about.

Heaven and Hell

2007-06-16T13:03:00.000-07:00

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like."

The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.

In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.

But the people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, 'You have seen Hell.

'They then went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking.

The holy man said, "I don't understand."

"It is simple" said the Lord, "In this place the people have learned to feed one another."

Take this quiz... and a lesson you shall learn.

2007-06-16T12:43:00.000-07:00

Don't bother getting a pen and paper... just read... if you can't answer them, just keep going.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Oscar winners for Best Actor and Actress.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America contest.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer prize.
5. Name the last five Academy Award winners for Best Actor and Actress.

How did you do?

The point is, none of us remembers the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They're the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners. Now here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. Name three people who made a difference in your life through Std 1 to Form5.
2. Name three friends who helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name five people who have taught you something worth while.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson?

The people who make a difference in your life aren't the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They're the ones who care.

Have a good day =)

Embracing the mystery,

2007-06-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

-Embracing The Mystery-

When all the words have been written, and all the phrases have been spoken, the great mystery of life will still remain. We may map the terrains of our lives, measure the farthest reaches of the universe, but no amount of searching will ever reveal for certain whether we are all children of chance or part of a great design.

And who among us would have it otherwise? Who would wish to take the mystery out of the experience of looking into a newborn infants eyes? Who would not feel in violation of something great if we had knowledge of what has departed when we stare into the face of one who has died? These are the events that made us human, that define the distance between the stars and us.

Still, this life is not easy. Much of its mystery is darkness. Tragedies occur, injustices exist. Bad things befall good people and sufferings are visited upon the innocent. To live we must take the lives of other species, to survive we must leave some of our brothers and sisters by the side of the road. We are prisoners of time, victims of biology, hostages of our own capacity to dream.

At times it all seems too much, impossible to accept.

We must stand against this. The world is a great mysterious place, and its possibilities are infinite, governed only by what our hearts can conceive. If we incline our hearts towards the darkness, we will see darkness. If we incline them toward the light, we will see the light.

Those of great heart have always known this. They have understood that, as honorable as it is to see the wrong and try to correct it, a life well lived must somehow celebrate the promise that life provides. The darkness at the limits of our knowledge; the darkness that sometimes seem to surround us is merely a way to make us reach beyond certainty, to make our lives a witness to hope, a testimony to possibility, an urge toward the best and the most honorable impulses that our hearts can conceive.
It is not hard. There is in each of us, no matter how humble, a capacity for love. Even if our lives have not taken the course we had envisioned, even if we are less than the shape of our dreams, we are part of the human family. Somewhere, in the most inconsequential corners of our lives, is the opportunity for love.

If I am blind, I can run my hand across the back of a shell and celebrate beauty. If I have no legs, I can sit in quiet wonder before the restless murmurs of the sea. If I am wounded in spirit, I can reach out my hand to those who are hurting. If I am lonely, I can go among those who are desperate for love. There is no tragedy or injustice so great, no life so small and inconsequential, that we cannot bear witness to the light in the quiet acts and hidden moments of our days.

And who can say which of these acts and moments will make a difference? The universe is vast and is a magical membrane of meaning, stretching across time and space, and it is not given to us to know her secrets and her ways. Perhaps we were placed here to meet the challenge of a single moment; perhaps the touch we give will cause the touch that will change the world.

Strength and Courage

2007-06-16T11:55:00.000-07:00

It takes strength to be firm
It takes courage to be gentle

It takes strength to conquer
It takes courage to surrender

It takes strength to be certain
It takes courage to have doubt

It takes strength to fit in
It takes courage to stand out

It takes strength to feel a friend's pain
It takes courage to feel your own pain

It takes strength to endure abuse
It takes courage to stop it

It takes strength to stand alone
It takes courage to lean on another

It takes strength to love
It takes courage to be loved

It takes strength to survive
It takes courage to live

Because I love you

2007-06-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

A ray of light shining
The desire in my heart burning
My soul begans yearning
Why won't you satisfy my craving

It was your love all along
That kept me warm and strong
Those were the best days
When you were only a heartbeat away

I want to be your light
I want to be your guide
You were a sensation
You were the inspiration

At first it was nothing
But I thought it was something
Till the memories of you began singing
And I knew you were my everything

You were the one I've always wanted
I knew there were times I took you for granted
I'm sorry that I don't know much
I guess I fell out of touch

As time begans slipping through your fingers
And the morning sun breaks between us
When the ice melts into snow
I guess it's almost time to go

I've crawled in the dark
I've fought against luck
There is no other clue
It's because I love you

Michael Buble- Home

2007-06-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

Another summer day
Is come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
But this was not your dream
But you always believe in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
And even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
Oh, let go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

Three Days Grace- Pain

2007-06-15T11:04:00.000-07:00

Three Days Grace- Pain

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

You're sick of feeling down
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand

This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you'll understand

(Chorus)
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at al
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

Anger and agony
Are better than misery
Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

(Chorus)

I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you're wounded
You know (You know you know you know you know)
That I'm here to save you
You know (You know you know you know you know)
I'm always here for you
I know (I know I know I know I know)
That you'll thank me later

Pain, without love
Pain, can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain than nothing at all
Rather feel pain...!!!!!!!!!!

Quoting...and how it can help you to deal with shy girls.

2007-06-14T07:24:00.000-07:00

This will be a post regarding quoting and how it'll help you with shy, timid, and insecure girls.

Quoting has you say things through someone's else mouth. This has the advantage of making the more timid or insecure girls feel more at ease with the content you are about to deliver and thus much more receptive to your suggestive talk, as you are not talking about her neither yourself but a "friend" of yours (this is also a good tactic to use when delivering a harsher than usual content. In order to understand what you are saying, she will have to apply everything you say to herself anyway, so don't worry about her not experiencing what your "friend" experienced:)

On the other hand, using quotes might be a slight hindrance to your success with more open-minded and adventurous girls, who wouldn't mind you describing them your or their feelings, because should a direct speech be accepted, it is always much more powerful than speaking through quotes. With such a girl describe her feelings and she goes "Goosh, this guy really understands my feelings!", or describe your feelings and she goes "Goosh, this guy has such deep feelings!". She'll be wet either way:)

You can also quote an article, a teacher, a TV-show, a book etc. All these quotes added up is called stacking realities - the way she will perceive it is that if the book says so, the article says so, the lecturer says so, his friend says so etc., then it must be true.

The reasoning behind quoting is to give the more shy and emotionally fearful girls more distance to feel more at ease with any given subject - to not have either her or you overtly involved in your descriptions (don't worry, her and you will be involved in those descriptions in her mind:). Another way of making her more at ease with any given subject is to use the hypothetical "If you were to...", "If I were to..." constructions, which now have the two of you overtly involved in whatever you choose to talk about, but only in a hypothetical way.

For example, use a "If I were to ask you…" in front of a "…what's the most important thing for you in a relationship…", the implication being that you're not really asking, finish that with a "…how would you describe it?" and you end up with a much more effective question of "If I were to ask you what's the most important thing for you in a relationship, how would you describe in?" than a blatant "what's the most important thing for you in a relationship?" on its own could ever be.

Still loving you

2007-06-14T07:02:00.000-07:00

Inspirations just keep pouring in...

-Still Loving You-

The very first time our eyes met
Till now it's the same feeling I get
But it feels so much stronger
You know I wanna love you longer

I can't explain certain things I do
I just wanna make you feel brand new
I hope you know that its true
I just can't stop loving you

I've been lonely since the day
The very day that you went away
It's just so sad but true
You know for me there's only you

Why would you want to be on your own
Why would you want to be alone
If you love me please don't refrain
Don't let me walk under the cold shivering rain

I know it's hard to open your heart
When even people you love seem out to harm you
But if you could heal my broken heart
Would'nt love be out to charm you

Was it just a whisper
Was it just a sigh
How much could I suffer
How long is this goodbye

What's the point of me trying
What's the point of me crying
Is it just a figment of my imagination
Or was our love purely base on fiction

I guess it has become a trend
For every love to come to an end
I said i'll love you till I die
I just hope you'll know that's not a lie

Anchoring--- another She post.

2007-06-14T06:01:00.000-07:00

Today.... the word will be anchoring.

Anchoring is an application of Pavlov's reflex in Neuro Linguistic Programme(a programme which derives the use of liguistics for the purpose of persuasion). A Pavlov's reflex is a conditioned reflex first explored and introduced by Russian scientist Pavlov.

The core of his experiment was as follows - he rang a bell, gave a dog some food, the dog saw and smelled the food and started salivating. After a few times of repeating the process of ringing a bell, offering food and getting the dog to salivate, he eliminated the offering of food from the process. He just rang the bell and… the dog started salivating. By always ringing a bell while offering food, he had created a conditioned reflex in the test subject, which in this case was causing salivation by simply ringing the bell.

The same conditioned reflex can be created in a girl - this is called anchoring. In patterning(patterning means methods or ways of interacting) this means, that every time you see the girl light up with delight, smile, laugh or just feel damn good because of the wonderful feelings you are creating in her with your patterns, you touch her in a specific place (the shoulder, elbow, inside of her arm) thus planting an anchor (the ringing of the bell while offering food:), while saying something "it's a great feeling, isn't it?" to mask your touch.
Let's say you've touched her elbow each time you've made her feel especially good three times already. If you now touch that very same spot on her elbow the same way you touched it on three previous occasions (applying the same amount of pressure etc.), she suddenly and unexpectedly has all those wonderful feelings, that were there when you planted the anchor, rush back to her without you having done anything else but touch her elbow (in other words: you just rang the bell without offering food, and she started to salivate:). If you're really good, you can plant different anchors for different feelings all over her body - an anchor of laughter on her shoulder, an anchor of excitement on her elbow, an anchor of feeling romantic on back of her hand and an anchor of feeling horny… on her knee:).

Furthermore, anchoring is not confined to touching alone - you can also use the tone of your voice, some specific words (whisper "oh yes do it!" in her ear a few times when she orgasms, then whisper those same words in her ear when being on some fancy reception and watch her turn red from a wave of passionate heat and lust. You don't even have to hide anything, she can recognise those words as "familiar" but she still can't help herself:). (I did this quite a number of times and a few times, the girl actually *wet herself*)

It is however important not to overuse the anchors you have planted or she will eventually become insensitive to them. Ring a bell ten times without offering food and the dog will eventually stop salivating when hearing the bell ring.

The most practical use of anchoring is probably being able the keep a girl on a constant high when she's with you. Evoke positive feelings, and whilst she's experiencing them, anchor those feelings. But even people who are extremely skilled in patterning cannot keep evoking good feelings in a girl on a continuous basis, sooner or later, for whatever reason (she might be tired, have some worries, whatever), her mood will drop. That's where the feelings you have anchored come handy. Fire off an anchor (if you anchored laughter and fun to her shoulder, touch her shoulder) and she's happy again:) With no excess effort on your part:)

Heh...posting these types of post only gives the statement womaniser and sexual predator a firmer hold on me. Doesn't matter, not that it matters at all to me.

To be frank... I used to be rather wild during my younger days... but the effect of maturity took place. But knowledge and experience does not wither with age or maturity. And this is where I pour my knowledge and experience.

Judge me or learn from me. Its entirely your choice. Do something that actually benefits.

Find her need... Fulfill that very need.

2007-06-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

Everyone has a need. Find and fill that need.

This will be a subpost continuing from the "How to make women fall truely, madly, deeply in love with you" post. I hope my opinions, ideas and perceptions might serve as a help to many out there.

There are 4 simple rules to finding her need and filling her need.

Rule 1.

People, all people, to include supercelebrities and ultra-gorgeous women, have desires. That seems like stating the obvious, but think about it. Even Bill Gates I bet, wishes he could do something different, that would fulfill him and he's not getting it now. He aches for something... craves for something... That's the same with ultra-gorgeous women, or women in general. They may have an army of suitors, they may be sleeping on the finest velvet sheets, etc etc. But believe me, all people, gorgeous women included, ache for something. They have a heartfelt desire for something. That "something" may vary from adventure to feeling freedom, to feeling respected (for the less secure ones), to feeling pampered, to feeling like a little girl again. It can be a large variety of things. But make no mistake about it. Everyone "aches" for something.

Rule 2.

And this is a cliche'. Find out what it is. Be sensitive. You can pick this up in the small cues that she leaks out. Be intelligent in structuring your questions to be such that you can uncover nice pieces of data. What you're looking for is "something" that she always wanted that she's not getting right now, something she "aches" for, but can't have due to some life circumstance or something like that. It can be anything. Once you know what it is, you can either you "fill" the void by using language patterns or "transform" yourself into the person that fits that criteria/desire/longing.

Rule 3.

Fill that "void" that you've found. Use linguistic patterns to achieve this. If she talks about the need for respect, say something like "what if... we were living in a different dimension... or a different planet... and in that planet... everything you see, is everything you want to see... and in that place... you see all the people, giving you all the respect you ever wanted... now doesn't that feel nice?"

Rule 4.

This is a cliche as well, but connect the fulfillment of the need to you. Yes, you. Do not make it obvious though.

Example:

One girl I was *not* really going after leaked out that she misses her father (who died a long time ago). I then took that tack and talked about how good it feels to be a little girl sitting on daddy's lap and embracing him, and asking for the small "gifts" like a pony or things like that.
And gosh...it actually worked.

But it would have even been better to ask her what her father was like, to ask for small cues, like how her father talked, what he used to say to her, what did he make her feel and etc etc.(I did'nt even actually do all that which I wish I would have done but nevertheless I still got what I wanted but it would have been better if I had done that) Then, using that information and your power of acting, subtly "transform" yourself into her daddy. It might seem sneaky and underhanded to use her own desires to dangle that very need she's always wanted but lets frame it this way - we're just finding out what can make a person happy and giving it to them."

How to make a women fall truely, madly, deeply in love with you.

2007-06-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

This will be a post into unlocking the door to the hearts of women. I hope that my knowledge would be sufficient for those of you out there who would be interested in learning the art of making a women fall truely, madly, deeply in love with you. Posting this post would probably be a very stupid thing to do, as women who happen to read this post would already see what's coming if ever, I would choose to pursue that very person. However, that reason alone is not enough to deter me from posting this post.

Enjoy.

Learn how to give her food for thought. Get her thinking by what you say, by what you do. Get her thinking about you. It is very important that you do this. Influencing her in ways where it is not obvious you are influencing her. Influence her thoughts, her attitude, her perception towards you and many other things and issues in life. Brain washing and persuading her is sometimes very important but is equally as hard as it is important to do. Brain washing and influencing her thoughts on you of being her ideal or perfect guy is probably the perfect thing to do. Brain washing and influencing her on being with you even though you are not the ideal or perfect guy for her would be an even more perfect thing to do. Food for thought, brain washing, influencing, and persuasion. Remember those.

Doing something for her to notice without making it obvious that the action of her noticing it was what you were trying to do. this works very well into showing her the other good side of you that she would love but is yet to notice. Make the situation of her discovering your good side as a pure coincidental and accidental occurrence.

Learn how to praise yourself and make it seem like its suppose to be a joke. Try to put down and talk bad about yourself to show that you are a humble person. Learn how to balance confidence and humility altogether. This is again very important. A girl loves a guy who in someway is full of confidence. However too much confidence might make you seem arrogant, egoistic, and just simply too full of yourself. We don't want that. Humble yourself and exude humility at the right moments.

Be sensitive and emotional. However, try not to show these qualities out at the early stage of your getting to know her. Slowly and gradually show her these qualities once she's gotten to know you a little bit more. Every girl loves a guy who is a man most of the time and a women at the right moments. By the way, sensitive and emotional guys tend to make women think of them as romantic and thoughtful, two qualities which most women find to be very attractive in a man.

Talk about things which would make her compare you with others and see that you are better.
For girls who have pride,make her feel humble in your presence.
For girls who have insecurity issues, boost up their confidence and make them feel secure.
Show her how you and her have something in common or a certain likeness in any possible way.
Most girls usually have a certain personality trait that they look up for in a guy. If you don't already have that personality trait. Its time to develop that trait. Or to the very least let her think you have it.

Be unique and different in a good way. That's the keyword

Make her feel loved. Make her feel adored. Make her feel needed and wanted. But be careful not to give it too much. She might step over your head or take you for granted. Know when to give, know when to hold back. This is very very important.

Make the girl feel special, and let her know that she too has touched your life in a unique way like no one else could.

Show appreciations, learn how to compliment and praise sincerely, learn how to appreciate certain things about her and let her know you appreciate those things about her. Help her see herself in a different light.

In your day to day talks, share your dreams, your world, and every aspect of your life with your girl. Always dream with her, build with her, and always cheer her on and encourage her. Tell your girl how you always think about her even when you try not to think about her. Let the girl know that she's your first thing in the morning and the last thing when you go to bed at night.

Her knowing that you were thinking of her when you slipped beneath the softness of your blanket and gave in to the bliss of sweet dreams, will make her go "oh my god, he's just simply so sweet".

Get her thinking about you. Very important thing this is. Sometimes this might just be the only thing you need to do to get a girl to like you. Which is the first step into making the girl love you.

You have to be creative and constructive to keep girl's interest in you so full of life. I remember one time I told my girlfriend to be to imagine we are both deaf and dump. We then sat opposite each other on the table and started sharing our feelings for each other using eyes and hand signs. It turned out to be some fun. There was also this time that we were in the library and we decided we are not going to speak to each other verbal, so I wrote a love note on a paper and passed it across the table to her, she replied and on and on we carried on our love on paper conversation till we almost finish an exercise book. At sometime, I noticed that some guys nearby our table were enjoying our ordeal than their studies. Such are the things that made the girl embrace my world. I remember her suggesting that we play deaf and dump two years after we broke up, can you imagine that?

Always do sweet things which are least expected. For example... do lame, silly and corny things like suddenly buying her flowers out of the blue when you don't usually buy her flowers. Make a very unexpected appearance at her home just to give her a hug and tell her how much you love her then go back home. Call her suddenly at 5am in the morning just to tell her that you had a dream about her, then tell her how much you love her and miss her and then end the conversation. Slip a love poem in a letter and put it somewhere where she would discover it and know that it was from you, like in her exercise book, her bag, her folder which she puts her notes in...stuff like that. Cook something for her(would be great if it was nice).

Don't kiss her when she expects you too. Do not rush sex. Do not give in into temptations that she might give you which leads to sex. If you need to, make her rape you. You will know when the time is right to give in. Your respect as a gentleman will be earned on how patient you are with her when it comes to such matters as kissing her and accessing her inner graces.

The writings are on your forehead that you want her, but you can't have her just yet. Increase your demand. Try to show her that men are also hard to get at times. Make her realize that when she feels a little dizzy, a little tired, a little sad, a little sick, a lot bored and very much cold, she's actually missing vitamin you. By this time, she'll be so much into you and since love is truthful and is characterized by open and honest communication, honestly promise her your everlasting devotion, loyalty, respect, and your unconditional love for a lifetime. Prove to her that you'll always be there for her, to listen and to hold her hand, and that you'll always do your best to make her happy, and feel loved.

Remember, patience is the key to her heart; be like that gardener watching a fruit as it hangs on the tree, day after day admiring it, but, exercising tremendous self-discipline, neither feeling the fruit, nor pinching it, nor testing it to see if it is ready. And then, one day he holds out his hand and the fruit simply drops into it, ripe, warm and eager to be eaten.

The patience and self-control which you practice will make you more attractive and charming. This will qualify you as her daily vitamin and win you that heart.

Demonstrate to her something about you that she discovers to be of value for her. And she will discover it being of value for her for the simple reason of loving the way that value makes her feel.

So many guys think, that their mere presence and company is of some specific value to the girl - well it is not. If you sport a handsome face or a hot bod, then your presence can sometimes be a turn-on for a girl - she likes the way the look of your face and muscles make her feel and thus your presence can be of separate value for her. But even the few times that happens, it will wear off fast if it turns out that that is all you have to offer.One very important thing to remember, nobody will want your goods if they don't even know anything about it. So let them sample it by demonstrating value and personality. Five very simple traits(there are of course more then five) are as the following according to my opinion.

confidence
humour
smile
well groomed / good looks
ability to create an emotional connection / a feeling of romance

These are the things you could do in order to generate a connection.

mirror her actions physically and doing it in a not so obvious way
notice the things she says without realising or subconsciously, remember and use them
rephrase everything she says and feed it back to her
inspire, generate and connect all good feelings
don't argue with her, be very understanding, deeply understanding - this can help create an immense connection
have and keep good eye contact - also helps to create an immense connection
touch her in a friendly, gentle, flirting manner. Keep those touches friendly and in a non sexual and non harmful manner.

We also need to know how to draw values out.The point of drawing forth values is to find out what she wants in and from a man and then turn into that man of her dreams by providing her with it. But don't be fooled, if she says she wants her man to be tall and financially secure, you're not going to the doctor to get implants for your legs or rob a bank. What she gave you were means values, which means that tall in itself does nothing for her - what matters to her is how a tall man by her side makes her feel. And this is the key - for each means value you need to find out the ends value, which is what she really wants.

Let's take the example of a tall man. Asking her "and how does a tall man make you feel?" might reveal that it makes her feel secure and protected! Aha! That's what she really wants! She wants to feel protected and secure, not a "tall man" literally although that was rather how she perceive it to be.The important part is not what she says she wants (tall men, rich men, etc.). The important part is the feeling that she experiences when she is around (tall men, rich men, etc). As long as you can discover the feelings that are important to her, and create them in her mind, she will associate those feelings with YOU." In practice, she'll reject a tall man that doesn't make her feel protected and secure right away, whereas you, who you might not be tall at all but can make her feel secure and protected, have just elicited your way to her heart :)

I shall be more detailed about her needs and how to fulfill her needs in next post.
Till then, have fun.

Say Goodbye

2007-06-12T09:29:00.001-07:00

Another poem by me. I have quite alot of inspiration lately I guess...

Say Goodbye :/

Having you near me
Holding you near me
Are you just gonna let it be
An illusion for me to see

The beating of my heart is a drum that's lost
You are the rhythm its been looking for the most
Though each and every part of me has tried
Only you can fill that space inside

I've never asked you why
You've always been in a disguise
I've been afraid to set you free
Losing you is painful to me

You can see the pain living in my eyes
My heart is yearning for you to symphathize
If you only knew how much I tried
If you only knew how hard I've cried

I've done everything i can to ease the pain
But only you can stop the rain
So there's no sense pretending
My heart it's not mending

Just when i thought i was over you
Just when i thought i could stand without you
These memories just come crashing through
I just cant go on without you

I would rather hurt myself then to ever make you cry
I love you without needing a reason why
Is there really nothing left to try
Is there no other way but to say goodbye

It's You.

2007-06-12T08:02:00.000-07:00

Could I compose a poem?
And not just any poem, a good one.
We shall just see about that.

It's You.

Don't speak too much of what's been going on
The past is over and gone
Give me your troubled mind
All I need is just a sign

Though each and every part of me has tried
Only you can fill that space inside
You know I just can't live without you
You know I miss everything about you

Giving you all of my heart
Wondering what you would say
I always put you as the start
Its not a role I usually play

Whether I'm blinded by love is still a mystery
It doesn't matter to me whats in your history
Girl thats the way love goes
The feeling I get when you're close

Tonight we'll embrace until it's time to go
My love for you many do not know
I just hope you know its true
That its all because of you

Im actually quite proud of this work....
=)

Reminiscence of the past.

2007-06-11T13:53:00.000-07:00

This is just a post that I'm posting at approximately 4.54am in the morning. I'm bored and sleepy yet I cant sleep because I have something to do at 7.00am in the morning and I know for sure, that if I were to attempt to sleep now, there is simply no chance in hell I would be able to wake up at 7 in the morning.

During the days when I was younger I used to fantasize that God would suddenly descend upon me and grant me 5 wishes.
And these are my 5 wishes.

1. The ability to literally read minds. Just by looking at that person directly, I would be able to access his mind; go through his past, his blurred past, his darkest secrets, his disappointments, his regrets, his wishes, his present thinking at that very moment etc...etc...

2. The ability to guess things with 100% accuracy in the present moment. Nothing to do with future readings only present. For instance, being able to predict the number I'll roll when I throw a dice and such. Being able to see the cards a dealer is dealing when the dealer and everyone else does'nt know what card is that. Psychic, probably would be the precise term.

3. Be perfect looking in terms of physical attraction. Perfect body, and a truly perfect symmetrical face.

4. Flawless mind. Photographic memory. Confusion free mind. And able to answer mathematical questions in the blink of a second. 34567932 x 3455676 -34556+34556. Able to solve that in 1 sec sort of thing. Boundless creativity and imagination. Flawless sense of logic.

5. Immunity to every single sickness. My cells recover from cuts or bruises relatively very very fast.

Why these 5 wishes? Why not money...fame....success....live forever...get the perfect girl...?

Its actually pretty easy to figure that out.

My 5 wishes already gave me all those.

Live forever? Whats the point of living forever anyways?

Fame? Why fame...I don't particularly favor fame very much...I don't really fancy the idea of everyone idolizing me. The people I would want idolising me are actually very few. Its okay with me if I only have them in the world to idolize me.

Money, success? Money will come, no doubt about that. Mind reading, psychic and having a flawless mind is more then enough to assure me of success.

Imagine having the ability to read minds literally. Imagine having the ability to control chance and luck with psychic powers. There is no more need to guess what is going through a persons mind any longer. Casino's will be my favourite hang out place. Gambling will be my favourite game, as there will never be an issue of bad luck anymore. In terms of business aspects, I'll be able to minimize risks to the very minimum. Heh, there probably won't even be any risk. Dealing with troublesome and fussy clients? No longer an issue. Falling sick? No longer an issue as well. Dealing with jealous and envious people? Totally not an issue. Making people feel good and understanding people's needs will be the simplest of all task.

Why would I wanna be perfect looking? Simple. There are many people out there who are better looking then me with a much hotter body. I would like to be the very best. The feeling of being a 10 out of 10 intrigues me.

One very terrible downside though. Would'nt surprise me if I'll commit suicide in about 1 year later. Life won't have its thrill and meaning any longer. Life would be downright and totally boring. Imagine knowing things that I would rather not know. Some things are better left unknown and unsaid. There won't be a case like that for me anymore.

Have a nice day. I would have to say that this is officially my worst post to date. I was bored however and simply too sleepy to come up with anything better then this. For that, I apologize.

Another post on the consideration of the existence of a Divine being called God.

2007-06-11T08:08:00.000-07:00

Does God Exist - The Big Questions

Does God exist?

An answer to this fundamental question is a prerequisite for answering the other big questions of life: Where did we come from? Why are we here? Do we serve a purpose? Do we have any intrinsic value? What happens after we die? The question of the existence of God is fundamental.

Does God Exist - A Philosophical Issue

Before we ask the question "Does God exist?" we first have to deal with our philosophical predispositions. If, for example, I am already dedicated to the philosophical idea that nothing can exist outside of the natural realm (i.e. there can be no supernatural God), no amount of evidence could convince me otherwise. Asking the question "does God exist?" would be pointless. My answer would be "No, He doesn't," regardless of whether God truly exists or not. The question would be impossible to answer from an evidentiary standpoint simply because anything which God might have done (that is, any supernatural act which might serve as evidence for His existence) would have to be explained away in terms of natural causes, not because we know what those natural causes could possibly be, but simply because a supernatural God is not allowed to exist!

Dr. Richard Lewontin, the Alexander Agassiz Professor of Zoology at Harvard University, put it like this: "It is not that the methods and institutions of science somehow compel us to accept a material explanation of the phenomenal world, but, on the contrary, that we are forced by our a priori adherence to material causes to create an apparatus of investigation and a set of concepts that produce material explanations, no matter how counterintuitive, no matter how mystifying to the uninitiated. Moreover, that materialism is absolute, for we cannot allow a Divine Foot in the door"

If, on the other hand, I were neutral, and didn't already have an "a priori adherence" to a particular worldview (be it naturalistic or otherwise), the question "does God really exist?" wouldn't be pointless at all. Rather, it would be the first step in an objective and meaningful search for ultimate truth. Our willingness to ask the question with an open mind is fundamental to our ability to discover the truth behind the answer. So first of all, before you even ask the question, decide whether or not you're really willing to accept the answer.

Does God Exist - Things to Consider

Once you're ready to ask the question, "does God exist?" here are a few observations to consider as you begin your search for an objective answer:

1.
Discoveries in astronomy have shown beyond a reasonable doubt that the universe did, in fact, have a beginning. There was a single moment of creation.

2.
Advances in molecular biology have revealed vast amounts of information encoded in each and every living cell, and molecular biologists have discovered thousands upon thousands of exquisitely designed machines at the molecular level. Information requires intelligence and design requires a designer. (the designer in this case could be a divine designer or simply mere random occurance)

3.
Biochemists and mathematicians have calculated the odds against life arising from non-life naturally via unintelligent processes. The odds are astronomical. In fact, scientists aren't even sure if life could have evolved naturally via unintelligent processes. If life did not arise by chance, how did it arise?

4.
The universe is ordered by natural laws. Where did these laws come from and what purpose do they serve?

5.
Some philosophers agree that a transcendent Law Giver is the only plausible explanation for an objective moral standard. So, ask yourself if you believe in right and wrong and then ask yourself why. Who gave you your conscience? Why does it exist?

6.
People of every race, creed, color, and culture, both men and women, young and old, wise and foolish, from the educated to the ignorant, claim to have personally experienced something of the supernatural. So what are we supposed to do with these prodigious accounts of divine healing, prophetic revelation, answered prayer, and other miraculous phenomena? Ignorance and imagination may have played a part to be sure, but is there something more?

Conclusion.

If your curiosity has been piqued and you desire to look into this matter further, I personally recommend that you consider the world's assortment of so-called Holy Books. If God does exist, has He revealed Himself? And if He has revealed Himself, surely He exists...

Laws of Thermodynamics

2007-06-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

Laws of Thermodynamics

The field of thermodynamics studies the behavior of energy flow in natural systems. From this study, a number of physical laws have been established. The laws of thermodynamics describe some of the fundamental truths of thermodynamics observed in our Universe. Understanding these laws is important to students of Physical Geography because many of the processes studied involve the flow of energy.

First Law of Thermodynamics:

The first law of thermodynamics is often called the Law of Conservation of Energy. This law suggests that energy can be transferred from one system to another in many forms. Also, it can not be created or destroyed. Thus, the total amount of energy available in the Universe is constant. Einstein's famous equation (written below) describes the relationship between energy and matter:

E = mc2

In the equation above, energy (E) is equal to matter (m) times the square of a constant (c). Einstein suggested that energy and matter are interchangeable. His equation also suggests that the quantity of energy and matter in the Universe is fixed.

Second Law of Thermodynamics

Heat cannot be transfer from a colder to a hotter body. As a result of this fact of thermodynamics, natural processes that involve energy transfer must have one direction, and all natural processes are irreversible. This law also predicts that the entropy of an isolated system always increases with time. Entropy is the measure of the disorder or randomness of energy and matter in a system. Because of the second law of thermodynamics both energy and matter in the Universe are becoming less useful as time goes on. Perfect order in the Universe occurred the instance after the Big Bang when energy and matter and all of the forces of the Universe were unified.

Third Law of Thermodynamics

The third law of thermodynamics states that if all the thermal motion of molecules (kinetic energy) could be removed, a state called absolute zero would occur. Absolute zero results in a temperature of 0 Kelvins or -273.15° Celsius.
Absolute Zero = 0 Kelvins = -273.15° Celsius
The Universe will attain absolute zero when all energy and matter is randomly distributed across space. The current temperature of empty space in the Universe is about 2.7 Kelvins.

Why are the three Laws of Thermodynamics so important?

Our concept of "Modern Science" is based on a series of major discoveries that define our understanding of the universe. Advancements in mathematics, biology, physics, chemistry, and other disciplines have usually been accompanied by defining, or discovering, fundamental principles. The Laws of Thermodynamics are important because they control interactions of everything in the universe - regardless of scale. These rules stretch across every form of science known to humankind.

Classical physics is, from a certain perspective, entirely based on Newton's Laws of motion. Most of the equations and principles taught in physics are based on these simply stated rules. In a similar way, thermodynamics is defined and based on the fundamental principles known as the Laws of Thermodynamics. All of the equations and guidelines used to design engines, analyze machines, and understand natural phenomena are subject to these laws.

The Laws of Thermodynamics take on a special importance because of their scope. It has been shown that Newton's laws of physics are only applicable in certain conditions. These conditions include pretty much every situation important to most engineers, chemists, and scientists. However, there are some known conditions where "Newtonian" physics are inaccurate. The Laws of Thermodynamics have no such exceptions. Energy is conserved, regardless of the amount or type of energy. Closed systems always tend towards greater entropy unless externally modified, whether those systems are atomic or galactic in size.

This means that the three Laws of Thermodynamics have influence over every scientific discipline, every biological or geological process, and every interstellar system. We can immediately test certain ideas against the Laws of Thermodynamics to see if they follow some of the universe's most basic rules. Ideas that don't follow those rules are either wrong or must be caused by some supernatural influence. For example, perpetual motion machines are provably impossible according to the Laws of Thermodynamics. The first law shows that energy (or matter) cannot be created from nothing, and the second law shows that a closed system will degrade its own energy over time. A machine that runs forever without any external energy source is either fictional or powered by some unnatural source.

Implications of the Laws of Thermodynamics, much more than other concepts, have sparked fierce debate about the very origins of the universe. The Laws of Thermodynamics leave some popular scientific theories in serious doubt. The fact that matter can neither be created or destroyed, according to the First Law of Thermodynamics, raises questions about where all of the matter in the universe came from.

Interestingly, there are those who shrug off disagreements between the Laws of Thermodynamics and certain popular scientific theories. While the fundamental laws of matter and energy, the Laws of Thermodynamics, are used to measure truth in every other discipline, some scientists ignore these laws as they pertain to their theories. Since the Laws of Thermodynamics define the rules of the natural universe, how do we explain things that those Laws say are not possible? If matter cannot be created, where did it come from? It is certainly here, and nothing natural can create it.

This makes a supernatural source more than just a possible conclusion - it makes it the only conclusion that fits the Laws of Thermodynamics. If something exists when natural laws say that it cannot be created, then something or someone operating outside of those laws must be responsible. The Laws of Thermodynamics lead us not only to greater knowledge of the natural universe, but they point us toward answers outside of that universe as well.

Physic Facts that you should know but apparently you don"t.

2007-06-11T04:28:00.000-07:00

What is light?

Light is a phenomenon that has particle and wave characteristics. Its carrier particles are called photons, which are not really particles, but massless discrete units of energy.

What is the speed of light?

The speed of light is 299,792,458 m/s in a vacuum. The symbol used in Relativity for the speed of light is "c", which probably stands for the Latin word "celeritas", meaning swift.

Is the speed of light really constant?

The speed of light is constant by definition in the sense that it is independent of the reference frame of the observer. Light travels slightly slower in a transparent medium, such as water, glass, and even air.

Can anything travel faster than light?

No. In Relativity, c puts an absolute limit to speed at which any object can travel, hence, nothing, no particle, no rocket, no space vehicle can go at faster-than-light (=superluminal) speeds. However, there are some cases where things appear to move at superluminal speeds, such as in the following examples: 1. Consider two spaceships moving each at 0.6c in opposite directions. For a stationary observer, the distance between both ships grows at faster-than-light speed. The same is true for distant galaxies that drift apart in opposite directions of the sky. 2. Another example: Consider pointing a very strong laser on the moon so that it projects a dot on the moon's service and then moving the laser rapidly towards Earth, so that it points on the floor in front of you. If you accomplish this in less than one second, the laser dot obviously travelled at superluminal speed, seeing that the average distance between the Earth and the Moon is 384,403 km.

What is matter?

The schoolbook definition would be: Matter is what takes up space and has mass. Matter as we know it is composed of molecules, which themselves are built from individual atoms. Atoms are composed of a core and one or more electrons that spin around the core in an electron cloud. The core is composed of protons and neutrons, the former have a positive electrical charge, the latter are electrically neutral. Protons and neutrons are composed of quarks, of which there are six types: up/down, charm/strange, and top/bottom. Quarks only exist in composite particles, whereas leptons can be seen as independent particles. There are six types of leptons: the electron, the muon, the tau and the three types of neutrinos. The particles that make up an atom could be seen as a stable form of locked up energy. Particles are extremely small, therefore 99.999999999999% (or maybe all) of an atom's volume is just empty space. Almost all visible matter in the universe is made of up/down quarks, electrons and (e-)-neutrinos, because the other particles are very unstable and quickly decay into the former.

How fast does an electron spin?

An electron in a hydrogen atom moves at about 2.2 million m/s. With the circumference of the n=1 state for hydrogen being about 0,33x10-9 m in size, it follows that an n=1 electron for a hydrogen atom revolves around the nucleus 6,569,372 billion times in just one second.

Are quarks and leptons all there is?

Not really. Fist of all, quarks always appear in composite particles, namely hadrons (baryons and mesons), then there is antimatter, and finally there are the four fundamental forces.

What is antimatter?

The existence of antimatter was first predicted in 1928 by Paul Dirac and has been experimentally verified by the artificial creation of the positron (e+) in a laboratory in 1933. The positron, the electron's antiparticle, carries a positive electrical charge. Not unlike the reflection in a mirror, there is exactly one antimatter particle for each known particle and they behave just like their corresponding matter particles, except they have opposite charges and/or spins. When a matter particle and antimatter particle meet, they annihilate each other into a flash of energy. The universe we can observe contains almost no antimatter. Therefore, antimatter particles are likely to meet their fate and collide with matter particles. Recent research suggests that the symmetry between matter and antimatter is less than perfect. Scientists have observed a phenomenon called charge/parity violation, which implies that antimatter presents not quite the reflection image of matter.

What are the four fundamental forces?

The four fundamental forces are gravity, the electromagnetic force, and the weak and strong nuclear forces. Any other force you can think of (magnetism, nuclear decay, friction, adhesion, etc.) is caused by one of these four fundamental forces or by a combination of them. Electromagnetism and the weak nuclear force have been shown to be two aspects of a single electroweak force.

What is gravity?

Gravity is the force that causes objects on Earth to fall down and stars and planets to attract each other. Isaac Newton quantified the gravitational force: F = mass1 * mass2 / distance². Gravity is a very weak force when compared with the other fundamental forces. The electrical repulsion between two electrons, for example, is some 10^40 times stronger than their gravitational attraction. Nevertheless, gravity is the dominant force on the large scales of interest in astronomy. Einstein describes gravitation not as a force, but as a consequence of the curvature of spacetime. This means that gravity can be explained in terms of geometry, rather than as interacting forces. The General Relativity model of gravitation is largely compatible with Newton, except that it accounts for certain phenomena such as the bending of light rays correctly, and is therefore more accurate than Newton's formula. According to General Relativity, matter tells space how to curve, while the curvature of space tells matter how to move. The carrier particle of the gravitational force is the graviton.

What is electromagnetism?

Electromagnetism is the force that causes like-charged particles to repel and oppositely-charged particles to attract each other. The carrier particle of the electromagnetic force is the photon. Photons of different energies span the electromagnetic spectrum of x rays, visible light, radio waves, and so forth. Residual electromagnetic force allows atoms to bond and form molecules.

What is the strong nuclear force?

The strong force acts between quarks to form hadrons. The nucleus of an atom is hold together on account of residual strong force, i.e. by quarks of neighbouring neutrons and protons interacting with each other. Quarks have an electromagnetic charge and another property that is called colour charge, they come in three different colour charges. The carrier particles of the strong nuclear force are called gluons. In contrast to photons, gluons have a colour charge, while composite particles like hadrons have no colour charge.

What is the weak nuclear force?

Weak interactions are responsible for the decay of massive quarks and leptons into lighter quarks and leptons. It is the primary reason why matter is mainly composed of the stable lighter particles, namely up/down quarks and electrons. Radioactivity is due to the weak nuclear force. The carrier particles of the weak force are the W+, W-, and the Z bosons.

How are carrier particles different from other particles?

The photon, gluon, and the graviton carrier particles are thought to be massless and having no electrical charge. Only the W and Z particles, mediators of the weak nuclear force, are massive, and the W+ and W- particles carry charge. Force carrier particles can only be absorbed or produced by a matter particle which is affected by that particular force. These particles allow us to explain interactions between matter.

How old is the universe?

Today's most widely accepted cosmology, the Big Bang theory, states that the universe is limited in space and time. The current estimate for the age of the universe is 13.7 billion years. This figure was computed from the cosmic microwave background (CMB) radiation data that the Wilkinson Microwave Anisotropy Probe (WMAP) captured in 2002.

What came before the Big Bang?

The Big Bang model is singular at the time of the Big Bang. This means that one cannot even define time, since spacetime is singular. In some models like the oscillating universe, suggested by Stephen Hawking, the expanding universe is just one of many phases of expansion and contraction. Other models postulate that our own universe is just one bubble in a spacetime foam containing a multitude of universes. The "multiverse" model of Linde proposes that multiple universes recursively spawn each other, like in a growing fractal. However, until now there is no observational data confirming either theory. It is indeed questionable, whether we will ever be able to gain empirical evidence speaking in favor these theories, because nothing outside our own universe can be observed directly. Hence, the question can currently not be answered by science.

How big is the universe?

The universe is constantly expanding in all directions, therefore its size cannot be stated. Scientists think it contains approximately 100 billion galaxies with each galaxy containing between 100 and 200 billion star systems. Our own galaxy, the Milky Way, is average when compared with other galaxies. It is a disk-shaped spiral galaxy of about 100,000 light-years in diameter.

What is the universe expanding into?

This question is based on the popular misconception that the universe is some curved object embedded into a higher dimensional space, and that the universe is expanding into this space. There is nothing whatsoever that we have measured or can measure that will show us anything about this larger space. Everything that we measure is within the universe, and so we see neither edge nor boundary nor centre of expansion. Thus the universe is not expanding into anything that we can see or measure.

Why is the sky dark at night?

If the universe were infinitely old, and infinite in extent, and stars could shine forever, then every direction you looked would eventually end on the surface of a star, and the whole sky would be as bright as the surface of the Sun. This is known as Olbers's paradox, named after Heinrich Wilhelm Olbers [1757-1840] who wrote about it in 1823-1826. Absorption by interstellar dust does not circumvent this paradox, since dust reradiates whatever radiation it absorbs within a few minutes, which is much less than the age of the universe. However, the universe is not infinitely old, and the expansion of the universe reduces the accumulated energy radiated by distant stars. Either one of these effects acting alone would solve Olbers's paradox, but they both act at once.

If the universe is only 13.7 billion years old, how can we see objects that are 30 billion light-years away?

This question is essentially answered by Special Relativity. When talking about the distance of a moving object, we mean the spatial separation now, with the positions of us and the object specified at the current time. In an expanding universe, this distance is now larger than the speed of light times the light travel time due to the increase of separations between objects, as the universe expands. It does not mean that any object in the universe travels faster than light.

What is Dark Matter?

Dark matter is a hypothesized form of matter particle that does not reflect or emit electromagnetic radiation. The existence of dark matter is inferred from gravitational effects on visible matter, such as stars and galaxies.

A small percentage of the gravitational effects observed are from visible matter (some estimates are as low as 4% of total gravitational effects). The remaining 96% is presumed to result from dark matter or dark energy, though these terms are somewhat indicative of our ignorance of the exact nature of these unknown quantities, as they have never been directly observed.

What is Dark Energy?

Dark energy is a hypothetical form of energy that permeates space and exerts a negative pressure, which would have gravitational effects to account for the differences between the theoretical and observational results of gravitational effects on visible matter. Dark energy is not observed, but rather inferred, along with dark matter, as a probable explanation for these effects.

The term "dark energy" was coined by the theoretical cosmologist Michael S. Turner.

What is a Black Hole?

Though they're mentioned a lot in popular culture, especially science fiction, few people really understand what a black hole is. A black hole is a theoretical entity created when a supermassive star gets compressed, as in a supernova, into a sufficiently dense point. The curvature of spacetime that results under Einstein's theory of general relativity is essentially infinite, making it so that even light cannot escape from its gravity.

As with most physical theories, of course, there are some alternatives to black holes that have been presented. One of the most popular is a ball of plasma called a magnetospheric eternally collapsing object (MECO). A July New Scientist article implied that physical evidence in support of MECOs is growing, although at present the black hole theory is still dominant among physicists.

What is a wormhole?

A wormhole is a theoretical entity allowed by Einstein's theory of general relativity in which spacetime curvature connects two distant locations (or times).

The name wormhole was coined by American theoretical physicist John A. Wheeler in 1957, based on an analogy of how a worm could chew a hole from one end of an apple through the center to the other end, thus creating a "shortcut" through the intervening space. The picture to the right depicts a simplified model of how this would work in linking two areas of two-dimensional space.

The most common concept of a wormhole is an Einstein-Rosen bridge, first formalized by Albert Einstein and his colleague Nathan Rosen in 1935.

In such a model, a black hole would draw matter in while being connected to a white hole in a distant location, which expels this same matter. In 1962, John A. Wheeler and Robert W. Fuller were able to prove that such a wormhole would collapse instantly upon formation, so not even light would make it through.

In a 1988 paper, physicists Kip Thorne and Mike Morris proposed since that such a wormhole could be made stable by containing some form of negative matter or energy (sometimes called exotic matter). Other types of traversible wormholes have also been proposed as valid solutions to the general relativity field equations.

Some solutions to the general relativity field equations have suggested that wormholes could also be created to connect different times, as well as distant space. Still other possibilities have been proposed of wormholes connecting to whole other universes.

There is still much speculation on whether it is possible for wormholes to actually exist and, if so, what properties they would actually possess.

Also Known As:
Einstein-Rosen bridge, Schwarzschild wormhole, Lorentzian wormhole, Morris-Thorne wormhole

Examples:
Wormholes are best known for their appearance in science fiction. The television series Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, for example, largely focused on the existence of a stable, traversible wormhole that connected the "Alpha Quadrant" of our galaxy (which contains Earth) with the distant "Gamma Quadrant." Similarly, shows such as Sliders and Stargate have used such wormholes as the means of traveling to other universes or distant galaxies.

What is the term "Absolute Zero"?

Absolute zero is the lowest possible temperature, at which point no thermal energy remains in the atoms of a substance. It is 0 degrees on the Kelvin scale, which translates to -273.15 degrees Celsius (or -459.67 degrees Fahrenheit).

The concept of an "absolute cold" was first presented by Robert Boyle in his 1665 New Experiments and Observations touching Cold. Various physicists explored this phenomenon, until Lord Kelvin derived his thermodynamic temperature scale, extrapolating backward to absolute zero based purely on the laws of thermodynamics.

Confidence exudes charm. Another post about girls so this blog won't be so boring with philosophical stuff.

2007-06-10T09:31:00.000-07:00

On confidence and getting started with approaching girls.

Try approaching every attractive girl you see and say, "Hi. Are you the sort of person I should get to know better?" If she says "Yes", then ask "Why?" Put the focus of the conversation on what she has to offer you. Do this in a matter of fact way, like you were saying "Hi. Your shoe's untied." In fact, if you can't yet muster the boldness to confront attractive girls, then just tell them it looks like they're about to lose a heel on their shoe and WALK AWAY. Try it. It works." Don't misunderstand the "addressing a girl and then walking away works" part - it doesn't work for getting to know these girls, it works to add to your experience and feeling natural and good about approaching girls:)

I didn't use "feeling confident" here on purpose, because ideally, you don't want to feel "confident" - being confident is something you think about and which ultimately reveals that you must be nervous in one way or another after all. Ideally you feel so good and natural about it that the word "confidence" never pops up in your mind:) Feeling so good and natural that you have no need to think about being confident is actually the ultimate confidence - but never think of it in terms of confidence. Forget the term "confidence" altogether, just concentrate on feeling good and natural (about approaching, propelling her to new heights of pleasure with your patterns, having simple friendly touches etc) and before you know it - "confident" is how you'll be perceived by women:)

When seeing a girl you'd like to approach, don't even try to "feel confident". Instead, think: "See that girl? I am the perfect experience for her!". Think of the way she will have goosbumps from the way you'll make her feel good, and if you want to, then for just a split-second you can remind yourself of all the ways you could make her scream*you know what I mean*:) Don't dwell on that though:) Just go and offer her the experience of a life-time:)

Reading a lady's body language.

2007-06-09T07:57:00.000-07:00

Learning how to read a person's body language is very essential in socialising and not just when it comes to attracting the opposite sex.

Reading body language

Doesn't matter whether she is interested in you, you'll make her interested eventually anyway:) But look for these signs to show you whether you're already making progress:) It's also fun to look for these signs as a by-stander, either in everyday situations or for example in a bar - when the guy earnestly believes he is being sooo smooth but the woman he is talking to isn't displaying any of the signs presented below, you can't help but have a chuckle about it:)

Her lips:

Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.
Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth.
She wets her lips, some women use only a single-lip lick, wetting the upper or lower lip, while others run the tongue around the entire lip area.
She puts her fingernail between her teeth.
She protrudes her lips and thrust her breasts forward.

Her eyes:

She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated.
She raises both eyebrows exaggeratedly for a couple of seconds, this is often combined with a smile and some eye contact.
She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance.
While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.
Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile indicates interest in you.

Her hair:

She pushes her fingers through her hair. This can be one hand movement or more of a stroking motion.
She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.
She is throwing her hair back off her shoulders.

Her clothing:

The hem goes up to expose a little more leg.
She is fixing, patting or smoothing her outfit to make herself look better.

While she is seated:

She moves in time to the music, with her eyes on you.
She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm.
She is sitting with her legs open.
She sits with her legs crossed in a manner to reveal her thigh.
Her legs are rubbing against each other.
Her legs are rubbing against the leg of the table.
Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you.

Her hands:

She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.
While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.
She rubs her wrists up and down.
She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way:)
She is fondling keys, sliding hands up and down a glass, playing with toys or other things on the table.
She plays with her jewellery, especially with stroking and pulling motions.
She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you (in case you already haven't started doing the same to her yourself, dumbass:).
She is pretending to look at her watch as you pass her.

Her voice:

She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours.
She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.
She laughs in unison with you.
In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.

Micellaneous:

She mirrors your body language and body positions.
Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.
She leans over and speaks into her friend's ear, just like in junior high school.
She is standing with her head cocked slightly at an angle, one foot behind the other, hips slightly thrust forward.
At a party - every once in a while she seems to appear out of nowhere in your vicinity and if you move to another spot, soon she appears out of nowhere again, you catch her glancing in your general direction (actually, glancing at YOU dummy!:), she bumps into you… accidentally, touches you… accidentally etc:)

When talking to a girl, these are some of the more important signs to watch for:

Can you keep conversation going with her?
Does she react well to you touching her physically( touch as in friendly gesture kinda touch, not molesting, you idiot.)?
Does she touch you(again, is she comfortable enough or attracted enough towards you in order to start touching u in a friendly manner yet)?
Does she laugh?

Now I don't have to explain what the answer "yes" to these questions means, do I:)

All these signs usually tell you that the girl is captivated by your charms. But before you get there, chances are that her body language changes as the discussion progresses. Make sure that you watch her closely and as soon as you get a sign that should be an indication that you are on the right track, keep going in that direction. If the opposite happens, just change the subject and see what happens."

The really gorgeous and beautiful girls however very seldom get around to displaying the signs of interest described above. They simply don't have to, as they are used to getting some attention already long before that. With such girls you have to be on a lookout for the initial and thus much more subtle signs of interest. One example of this would be a gorgeous girl simply looking at your face. Obviously people tend to look at what or whom they like to look at. But whereas an average girl first just looks at your face and then progresses into the more overt signs of interest described above, looking at your face from time to time might be the only sign of interest you'll ever get from the most beautiful of girls.
So if you think you're not getting any signs of interest from beautiful girls - you are, but you just can't see them well enough yet.

Here are signs of interest sent from across the room. Most are applicable to both sexes. The sequence of the list approximates the courtship sequence.

I'M INTERESTED

Sidelong glance(s)
Looks at you a few times
Holds your gaze briefly
Downcast eyes, then away
Posture changes to alert
Preens, adjusts hair, attire
Turns body toward you
Tilts head
Narrows eyes slightly
Smiles
Matches your posture
Eyes sparkle
Licks her lips
Thrusts breasts forward

DON'T BOTHER ME

Never sneaks a peek
Fleeting eye contact
Looks away quickly
Looks away, eyes level
Posture unchanged
Does no preening
Turns body away
Head remains vertical
Eyes remain normal
Neutral, polite face
Posture unchanged
Normal or dull eyes
Keeps mouth closed

In Summary.
Frequency of eye contact, the more the better. Amount of time she, or he, holds your gaze, the longer the better. How she breaks off eye contact, down before away is great! Shine of the eyes, the brighter the better. Direction of body, toward you, good, away, bad. Overall posture, erect and alert are good. Tilt of head, vertical is bad, increased tilt is great. Where the drink is held, high in front as a barrier, that's bad. Hand activity, clenched, squeezing or pinching is bad, open, caressing or stroking is great.
Most of us are slightly afraid as well as somewhat excited in settings where social interaction is expected and required. So, most people do not sit or stand in an open posture. But, during courtship, the more open the other person's posture is, the more open that person is to you and your advances. And, the more open you are, the more likely the other person is to open up to you.
First Conversation Signals.
Men, pay attention to all the ways she communicates during the first few minutes as you talk with her.

KEEP TALKING

Alert, energetic
Pupils dilated
Gradually opens posture
Lowers drink
Touches self gently
Caresses objects
Crosses and uncrosses legs
Flashes of palm
Crossed legs steady
Dangles shoe on toe
Hands never touch face
Touches you any reason
Feet firmly on floor
Loosens anything
Leans forward
Steady hands, feet

MOVE ON

Tense, restless
Normal or small pupils
Posture remains closed
Keeps drink high
Grips or pinches self
Squeezes, taps objects
Legs remain crossed
Back of hand gestures
Swings crossed legs
Keeps shoe on
Touches face
Never touches you
Feet on edges or toes
Tightens anything
Leans away
Tapping, drumming

In social settings, most of us start out in a closed, defensive posture because we're a bit apprehensive. A closed posture feels safe. When the person you are talking with shifts to a more open posture, it signifies trust and comfort. That person is, literally, opening up to you and what you have to offer.
It takes courage to open up to the other person. If you go first, she, or he, will usually follow your move from closed to slightly more open.

Saint Thomas Aquinas on the existence of God.

2007-06-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

I would insist that everyone read this. Especially Atheist and Agnostics. I would first warn that this might be considered heavy stuff by some, but nevertheless, read it. Some really astounding and magnificent answers by Saint Thomas Aquinas.

http://www.newadvent.org/summa/1002.htm

Atheist vs Theist. The Theist in particular is a Roman Catholic.

2007-06-07T11:01:00.000-07:00

Is It Possible For God's Existence To Be Proved?
Examine the following debate and answer the question yourselve.

Atheist:
I don’t know what makes Catholics think that God exists. A rational person would ask for proof of the existence of something he could not see. It’s like living in a fairyland to believe that there is a personal God who exists somewhere out there.

Theist:
Your challenge applies, of course, to historic Protestant Christians, observant Jews, and devout Muslims as well. In fact, I dare say that the vast majority of the human race, for most of its history, has believed in some form of deity. Are you implying that the vast majority of the human race has been irrational?

Atheist:
I don’t want to be judgmental, so I’ll refrain from answering that question, but I just don’t see any good reason for believing in a God like you Christians do. Can you prove that God exists?

Theist:
You may be familiar with different forms of proof from high school geometry. One of them is called a reductio ad absurdum method. Its logical form is like this: (1) God either exists or he does not exist (both cannot be true); (2) If we can show that the statement “God does not exist” leads to an absurdity, it leaves “God does exist” as the only rational statement.

Atheist:
Okay, so show me that not believing in God leads to an absurdity.

Theist:
First, we must distinguish between different types of absurdity. In mathematics, absurdity means a contradiction. Saying that three is not greater than two leads to a contradiction with other well-known truths of mathematics and is therefore an absurdity. In speaking of God, absurdity would mean something like this: If we deny that God exists, then we would expect the universe and human life to look one sort of way. If we affirm that God exists, then we would expect a quite different set of observations. My claim is that denying God’s existence leads to absurd conclusions about the universe and human life.

Atheist:
Well, I must commend you for your audacity. Do you mean to tell me that you can show me that my not believing in God is absurd? It seems to me quite the other way around. People who believe in God seem to be living in a dream world, not in the real world.

Theist:
I understand why you say that. Let me begin by limiting my goal. I cannot show you that denying God’s existence is absurd in the mathematical sense of a contradiction, but I can show you one of two things. Either denying God’s existence is incompatible with some of the most basic realities of the universe and human life, or at least affirming God’s existence is more rational than denying it.

Atheist:
What kind of realities are you talking about?

Theist:
Take the universe. Would you agree that the universe, as we see it every day and as we learn in various sciences, shows a law-like behavior? That is, do you agree that the universe displays effects that are governed by regular laws of nature?

Atheist:
You mean like the law of gravity or the laws of genetics? Of course. But how does that prove God?

Theist:
If the universe we live in is law-like, what explains these patterns? If you deny the existence of a rational God, I suppose there might be several explanations still available, but can you agree that one of the most common explanations today is that this universe came into being by chance?

Atheist:
Many scientists seem to think so, at least those in the biological sciences.

Theist:
Right. For example, Richard Dawkins is a biologist at Oxford University. He has tried to show in many of his popular writings that the laws of the organic world could have resulted from chaos and chance.

Atheist:
And he has been successful. So why do we need to invoke God to explain the natural laws of the universe?

Theist:
I am not competent to judge whether or not he has been successful, although many of my biologist friends have grave doubts about his attempts. My point is a more foundational one. Even if we can show a linkage between the chance occurrences of organic history and the laws of genetics, for example, it does not follow that such laws came from those chance occurrences. At best, all it shows is that those chances occurrences are not incompatible with those laws.

Atheist:
What you say may be true, but do those who believe in God have any better explanation?

Theist:
Which seems more rational to you: to believe in fixed laws of nature resulting from chance occurrences in the universe, that is, in law-like patterns of nature emerging from un-law-like events, or that these laws come from a being who placed these laws in the very fabric of the universe?

Atheist:
I am content with the idea that the laws of the universe emerged by chance. Your appeal to God doesn’t seem to me any more persuasive than my belief. And it certainly doesn’t show that my belief in chance is absurd.

Theist:
I think we can speak of relative absurdity. That is, we can compare two explanations and decide that one of them seems more rational than the other. Your belief in laws emerging from chance violates a basic principle of explanation that Aristotle articulated over 2,000 years ago: The cause of an event must be greater or more powerful than the event itself. Your explanation suggests that chance caused the laws in some sense. But it is clear that the fixed laws of nature are more powerful in explaining things than are chance events. Appealing to chance would be the opposite of the normal way we do science.Let’s take a concrete example. In physics, we explain particular events by appealing to general laws of nature. The phenomena of free fall (apples descending to the ground), projectile motion (bullets), and planetary movement are all subsumed under the law of universal gravitation, because the law is more general and powerful than the particular events.So appealing to chance violates this basic principle that the cause must be more powerful than the effect being explained. That is why I say that your explanation of the laws of nature by appealing to chance is more absurd relative to invoking God to explain the same laws.

Atheist:
Invoking God doesn’t seem to me to be any more effective or powerful. Basically, you are appealing to something you can’t touch or see (non-empirical) to explain the touchable, seeable world. A vague appeal to a notion of God is not very scientific.

Theist:
You’re right. That is not very scientific, but it is not because God is not an empirical entity. Science posits non-empirical constructs all the time. Take gravity. No one has ever seen it. All we can do is state the law in a mathematical equation. Black holes are even more non-empirical. If they exist, they will never be directly observed. Black holes are theoretical constructs used to explain phenomena we observe (e.g., radiation emissions), but they are very difficult to observe and can be observed only indirectly.

Atheist:
Yes, but that is precisely the point. Physical laws like gravity can be verified by prediction. Even though black holes cannot be verified directly, they are posited as real physical entities, not supernatural constructs. God is not like gravity or black holes. He is a supernatural entity, not a physical one. God is not something you can verify.

Theist:
Yes, that is why I agreed with you that invoking God is not a scientific explanation. Science invokes only physical causes; some are directly verifiable (like gravity) and others are only indirectly verifiable (like black holes). This is what Aristotle called efficient causes. My point was that even though God is invisible, that fact is not what distinguishes invoking God from invoking non-observable entities in science. Science invokes unobservables in many instances.

Atheist:
Okay, I agree that science invokes non-observable entities, but you still haven’t shown that invoking God is a rational thing to do, since God is a supernatural entity and science deals only with natural ones.

Theist:
Yes, I would not want to invoke God as a part of science, but I insist that the scientist—or any human being, for that matter —is more than a scientist. In other words, to be human is to ask for explanations of the universe, not just parts of it or specific laws within it. So when we ask about the universe and its laws as a whole, we are led into questions that science with its methods cannot answer. It is then that we are led to a choice. Either we content ourselves with the explanation you offered—namely, that these laws of nature came from chance occurrences—or we have a more powerful explanation of these laws by invoking a being who possesses them.

Atheist:
Well, as a person who has been trained to think scientifically, I am content with appealing only to physical explanations.

Theist:
I suggest that is because you have unknowingly adopted a viewpoint that excludes other types of explanations. That exclusion, I dare say, is not rational but arbitrary. I agree that science as we have it today invokes only physical explanations, but I cannot agree that physical explanations alone are adequate to satisfy the human yearning to know.

Atheist:
Well, even if I agree with you on that point, I don’t think you’ve shown that not believing in God leads to absurdity.

Theist:
All I ask is that you think of yourself not just as a scientist but as a human being who desires explanations whether they are physical or not. And the same search for explanations that guides science should guide our search for explanations that go beyond science. Remember that I spoke of relative absurdity. It is more absurd to believe that the laws of nature originated from chance and chaos than from a rational being. The universe, as we observe it and as we study it in science, demands a more powerful explanation than chance.

And so the debate goes... The conclusion is that we have no solid evidence that God exist. At the same time we have no solid evidence that God does not exist. This is merely a philosophical debate about which is more probable then the other.
But no matter it all comes down to one simple thing... Faith.
It might seem rather naive for people who tend to pride themselves with superb intellectual abilities to believe in *faith*.
Reasoning can only bring us and answer us so much...
Faith is whats left to answer when reasoning and logic reaches a dead end.
But do not put faith as the answer.
Remember, always question.
Everytime you question, your faith is being renewed.