Monday, December 31, 2007

Check this out, you might just realise your mistake.


I've been seeing this girl for about a month now but I don't seem to be able to get to the next level. There is no question that she likes me since she keeps calling and suggesting to do things together. However, she insists on bringing up that she's gotten hurt in the past which apparently makes it hard for her to trust guys. According to me that is pretty damn dumb; we've all been hurt, haven't we. GET OVER IT! Anyway, my question to you is, how do I earn her trust? Are there any shortcuts? Help me out here bro!


My guess:

You're probably acting like a WUSSY with her, and she doesn't feel any ATTRACTION for you.

She's probably hanging in there, hoping that SOME kind of feelings will develop for you... but it's not working.

Look, when a woman says:

"I only like you as a friend"


"I've been hurt, so I want to take this slow"


"I like you so much, I don't want to lose you as a friend"

...or any of the million variations of these things, it USUALLY means that you're not doing the things it takes to create ATTRACTION.

She doesn't FEEL IT for you.

And if she doesn't FEEL IT, then there ARE NO shortcuts, my man.

Stop being such a "nice" guy, and start doing the things you're learning from me to spark some CHEMISTRY!

Now let me answer the question of how to make a women fascinated by you.
This is a very very very FAQ.

I've learned a secret to impressing women that I'm going to share with you in this post.

It's a secret that probably not 1 in 1,000 men knows or will ever figure out on his own.

The REASON that most men will never figure out this particular secret is that it's TOO OBVIOUS.

Let me explain... I personally think that most men feel a very powerful desire to IMPRESS women. If you watch the way a man behaves when he's talking to a woman he's just met or a woman that he's on a first date with, you can SEE IT.

Maybe you've been there yourself. I know I have. The feeling that you need to impress a woman usually comes along with another feeling:


Here are some of the signs that a guy is feeling the need to "impress" the woman that he's talking to:

1) He tries to only say "cool" things, or things that will "impress" the woman.

2) He acts nervous and stilted during the conversation... sometimes coming across as"formal" or probably awkward...

3) He tries to figure out what the woman wants to hear.

4) If he says something that the woman doesn't like, he "back-pedals" and tries to change what he said to suit the woman.

5) He doesn't say anything "risky", doesn't tease the woman, and doesn't do anything to upset her. other words, when a guy is talking to a woman that he "likes", he's usually on his "best behavior", and he's trying to "put his best foot forward".


And this drive to impress often makes them act UNNATURAL. There's your first hint, in fact...


Remember at the beginning when I told you that I was going to share a secret with you about how to impress women that not 1 in 1,000 men will figure out on their own? Well, here it is:


If you will just STOP TRYING to impress women,and do the things I'm teaching you instead, women will NATURALLY be "impressed" by you.



What's wrong with trying to "impress" women, anyway? To start with, EVERYTHING.

When you intentionally try to impress a woman, you send the following messages on a "subtle" level:

1) I don't think you'll like me for who I am, so I will try to "impress" you instead.

2) I'm not comfortable enough around women to just act normal.

3) I don't have a lot of experience with attractive women.

4) I'm insecure.

5) I don't know how to make women feel comfortable with me.

Ouch. But it's the truth.

Women can TELL INSTANTLY when you're "trying".

The conversation doesn't feel "normal", your body language is strange, and you can't seem to have a regular conversation. Now of course, I've just described the way that about 99.9999% of men act when they're first talking to a woman that they "like".


The bottom line is that trying to impress a woman usually has the OPPOSITE effect. It not only makes you look like a nervous guy who can't make normal conversation... it also bores the hell out of women.


OK, so you're out having a cup of tea with a beautiful woman you just met a few days before... She asks you what you do for a living. Should you answer with:

1) "Well, I'm an engineer for a software company that makes sophisticated vector widget plotting algorithms. I've been with them for three years,and I'm about to be promoted to ALGORITHM MANAGER."

2) "I do stunt work. Have you ever seen it in a movie when a hot actor has to reveal his naked ass? That's my job." ...

Well, it all depends on what your outcome is. If you want to try and IMPRESS the girl with your cool high-tech job, then #1 will work just fine.

Unfortunately, it won't impress her at all, and it will make you sound like a jackass who is trying to sound cool. If you want to ACTUALLY impress her, try #2. Most men don't have the BALLS to say something like this when a woman asks a "serious" question like "What do you do?".

If you REALLY want to make a long-lasting impression, KEEP THE HUMOR GOING.

She'll say "No, really... what do you do?".

Answer with: "No, really. Haven't you ever seen it when an actor needs a stunt ass? I mean hey... someone's got to do it".

Now, I can't possibly go into all the reasons why it's a HUGE MISTAKE to try to impress a woman, or to feel like everything you say should be"impressive".

There are MANY reasons for this. MORE IMPORTANTLY, there are a few things you can do that will INSTANTLY impress a woman...and I mean REALLY impress her.

But these things aren't OBVIOUS. The most IMPORTANT thing you can do toIMPRESS a woman is make her feel a powerful emotional ATTRACTION for you. This feeling will stay with her long after you have left and gone home.

And it's the one thing that will make women pursue YOU... and try to impress YOU.

What's the best way to do this?
1) Stop trying to IMPRESS women!!!

Stop now!!!

Now... everyone has problems, and I'm usually strong enough to handle them.

However, within the law of attraction should you never be "weak"?

Hard call for a sensitive soul. What's the balance here?


To answer your question "Should you ever be weak?", I say:

Most men act weak ALL THE TIME when they are in the presence of an attractive woman. This is a big problem.

If a woman sees you as a "weak man", then trying to "be strong" will never work. You will only come across as a weak guy who's trying to"act strong".

On the other hand, a guy who is thought of as a"real man"... one who does not act weak during the first several interactions with a woman, can have a "weak moment" later on and actually have a woman respond in a very powerful, positive way.

In other words, if you're perceived as a "real man", then you can do whatever you want, and it will be perceived as part of that personality.

But if you are perceived as a "weak man", then NOTHING you can do will trigger the strong gut-level attraction inside of a woman.

And nothing will change that picture inside of a woman's head.

Once you're thought of as a weak, nice, ass-kissing guy, it's like an invisible switch gets switched off inside of a woman.

And it's not coming back on anytime soon.

So, the big question is, how do you project this "real man" image? How do you be yourself while at the same time doing the things that create attraction? How do you act in an authentic way, while amplifying those parts of your personality that are most likely to trigger the attraction mechanism inside of women?

Part of the answer is to realize that just about every communication has several levels of meaning. When you tease, act cocky and funny, and bust a woman's balls, you could viewed as being a mean jerk. Or, if you do it right you can be viewed as an interesting, sexy man.

This is a critical concept, and you need to understand it if you want to succeed with women.


Thank you, is all that I have to say. I'm doing better now than in college since I LET myself get wussified over the past few years. I can now, cold-turkey, walk up to just about any woman I want to, and bust her friggin' balls with a straight face and a slight smirk.

Their defense shields melt before my eyes. But, alas, I have a question. It seems when I'm meeting women, within an hour or so, I usually end up making out with them or touching them all over ...while they kiss and touch me back of course.

Getting numbers isn't enough. I want to advance the meeting from the bar or the party straight to the bed-room without all the email and phone call. What is the best way of doing that?

Also....after making out with this one chick I met, after meeting her in a parking lot at some famous delicasy place (go figure), she emails me back a week later saying she wants to pursue friendship first and get to know me. It seems I am perhaps being too agressive. How can I be agressive yet sly about it? Any help would be great. I love this stuff!


To answer your first question, about how to skip all the emails, calling, and "dating" and go straight to the bedroom...

Do two things:

1) Don't focus on "the bedroom". Focus on taking things to the next step... and the next... and the next.

2) As soon as you meet a woman, treat it like you're going on a date together.

Let me explain.

If you meet a girl you really like, spark some major chemistry, start kissing her, etc. you're probably going to get some resistance if you look at her and say "OK, let's leave your friends here and go back to my place so I can FUCK you".

That's just a hunch. Worry not.

But, if you meet her, spark the attraction, start kissing, and then say... "Hey, come with me", and then take her hand and lead her to another part of the club or bar... or take her to the dance floor... or some combination... and then start kissing again... and then stop (two forward,one back)... and then say, "Hey, I'm going to this other bar, come along with me"... and then once you're there you continue, all the way until closing, when you say, "Hey, let's keep talking...this is fun. Give me a ride home..." etc., etc.,etc....

I think you can see where I'm going with this.

A woman wants to feel that things are developing naturally, not that you are just trying to get her into bed as fast as you can.

If the evening unfolds in a normal, natural way, and you can progress from one level to the next, you'll do very well and go very far.

Why do you lead her to another part of the club, and then take her somewhere else?

Physically leading a woman is VERY powerful, and leaving together/showing up somewhere else together changes things. When you arrive at the new place, even though you're the same two people that just met, you're now TOGETHER at the new place.

And when you suggest continuing to talk, and her giving you a ride home (or some variation), it's not like saying "Come fuck me". You're making it clear that you want to spend time with her, and it leaves the possibility of ANYTHING happening open.

And as for the girl you met in the parking lot who emailed you a week later saying "Let's pursue a friendship first", what she was probably REALLY saying is:

"I can't believe that I made out with you after meeting you in some parking lot . I'm not like that. So let's get together sometime on a more casual basis, and if you DO EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID WHEN WE FIRST MET I'LL PROBABLY END UP MAKING OUT WITH YOU AGAIN."

Think about it.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I realized something recently that I'm sure you and a lot of other guys have encountered. When I talk to my guy friends about girls I'm dating or interested in, they tend to encourage and push me to action. When I talk to my female friends about girls I'm dating or interested in, they tend to say negative things about the girl and plant doubts in my head. What do you think about that? Even though there's no romantic interest between me and my female friends, are they acting competitive on some subconscious level?

-A student willing to learn-

My respond.


If you think MEN are competitive, just wait until you start dating more WOMEN.

You will not believe how competitive women are.

A friend of mine pointed something out to me a few years ago.

He said "You know when you go out to a nice bar or club, and all the women are dressed up, have their hair done, and their makeup perfect? Well they're not fixed up like that for the's for the other WOMEN."

Now, at first that made no sense to me.

But the more I've paid close attention, the more I realize that it's RIGHT ON.

Women are VERY competitive.

In fact, one of the best ways to meet women is to GO OUT with a cute female friend (or more than one).

Women are always more interested in a guy who already has women around him than a guy who doesn't.

This is one of the reasons why so many married guys talk about how much more often they're approached by women now that they're married...

People always want something that's already wanted by other people.

Female psychology is VERY interesting.

I've noticed a KEY difference between the way
men and women act when they meet a "potential

Women usually act in a way that can be
characterized like this:

"You're interesting to me. I'd like to get to know
you better, and we can see where this goes."

Men usually act in a way that can be
characterized like this:

"I am so interested in you that I'm nervous. In
fact, I'm already thinking of you as a potential
girlfriend or wife... or at least a one-night

In other words, women are usually casual and
laid-back when they're first meeting a guy...

But GUYS tend to act like every girl is a

As you can imagine, this creates a lot of
tension and pressure.

And I'm not talking about the GOOD kind,

I'm talking about the kind that makes men
shiver and shake with nervousness, and women feel
uncomfortable because the MAN is acting

I KNOW that you can relate to this in some way.


The simple solution to this is...


If you start acting all freakish and nervous
when you're talking to a woman, you're probably
going to screw things up before they've even had a
chance to get started.

Treating a woman that you've just met as if she
very well could be the love of your life is
something you should NEVER do.

Instead, take a very different approach.

My favorite is to ASSUME that every woman has
SOMETHING that's going to annoy me, bother me, or

The MAIN reason that I do this...




The fact is that MOST women are NOT compatible
"long term" with most men. In other words, if you
do get into a long-term relationship with a
particular woman, the chances are that she's going
to have things about her that you don't like.

One of my lines to
follow is, "You're screwing up your chances with

Let's say I'm walking down the street with a
girl to have a cup of tea. Let's assume that she
and I just met the night before, I got her number,
and now we're going from her place to tea.

On the way in the door to the coffee shop, she
trips over the doorway.

I might look at her, shake my head in an
"overly dramatic fake annoyed" way, and say, "This
relationship just isn't going to work".

Then, let's say fifteen minutes later, she
spills her tea on the table and herself.

I'll shake my head again and say, "What did I
tell you about this kind of behavior?".

In other words, I'm communicating the very
OPPOSITE of "You're a potential wife". I'm saying,
"I'm so comfortable around you that I can even
make fun of you without caring what you think of

Does this sound a little crazy?

Good. It should.

But trust me.

If you spend a couple of hours having regular,
normal conversation... being Cocky & Funny,
enjoying yourself, NOT trying to impress her, and
generally demonstrating that you could care less
how things turn out, you'll be FAR more likely to
take things further than if you act as if she
might be the love of your life and you wind up
acting so nervous, stilted, and DUMB that she runs

So here it is again... one thing that most guys
who are unsuccessful with women do that screws
things up... one thing to AVOID:


Instead, lean back. Be cool. Make jokes about
her screwing up her chances with you. Tell her
that she's a nice friend. Assume that she has
qualities that are going to annoy you, then point
them out (in a Cocky & Funny way, of course).

Don't lose your composure. It can be fatal if
you do.

Another note:

Most guys don't "get" women.

And, unfortunately, most guys look for tricks
and "pick up lines" when it comes time to LEARN
how to meet women.

They don't realize that all the tricks in the
world aren't going to help them if they don't
UNDERSTAND what's "going on".

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Fascinating, you might find it to be.


"The Guy in the bar Story...

Well *the guy in the bar story* revolves around a guy who was in a bar and he approached this really really hot bartender, and he flirted with her and all, and he finally got her number, and then he left.

Now when I mention this story to a selected few, they were enquiring about why he left the bar as soon as he got the waitress's phone number.

Why should he have left the bar as soon as he got the waitress' phone number?

This is "Ultra Extra Important" as you said. I think I know why he should have left, he was probably staring at her all night and she was turned off by it, but give me your complete insight on why he should have left immediately after getting her e-mail or phone number.

As I said before, this concept is VERY important.

Understanding why you need to leave at this point is part of understanding the dynamic called ATTRACTION.

So before I get into the specifics, let's talk about the underlying process that creates ATTRACTION...

1) ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional reaction.

ATTRACTION is nature's way of taking over our minds and bodies long enough to make sure that we mate with someone with the best possible genes.

I realize that this sounds pretty "clinical" "scientific"and lame, but it's the damn truth.

Attraction isn't concerned with you, her, or love. It's evolved over a loooong period of time,and it has a purpose that is very important.

2) ATTRACTION isn't logical, in the sense that it isn't created by things that "should" create it.

Buying women dinner and gifts, giving lots of compliments when you first meet a woman, and kissing up to women to get their approval are examples of "logical" things that SHOULD create attraction... but don't.

When you understand how attraction works, you begin to see that it has a "logic" all on its own.
Attraction is one of my favorite subjects...and I think you should really understand it if you want to be successful with women.

3) Women aren't attracted to guys who act like needy Wuss-Bags. When guys give lots of compliments, seek approval, act clingy, or try to go out of their way to be overly "nice", it usually backfires.

Women run from Wussy men (either that or they go shoe shopping with them... and the guy usually pays).

4) Unfortunately, many guys are mentally programmed to a sort of "Default Wussy" mode of behavior when they encounter a woman that they're attracted to.

When you combine this Default Wuss mode with nervous body language, you create an almost impossible barrier between you and ever creating ATTRACTION.

5) Just like a painting or a song, too much can ruin an interaction with a woman.

You must know when to leave, hang up, or end the interaction.

Leaving at the right moment creates tension, anticipation and mystery.


Of course, there are more ingredients to ATTRACTION, but these will set the stage for where I'm going with this...

In every situation, you can do something to INCREASE the ATTRACTION... and you can do something to DECREASE it. In other words, there's always a way to dial up this magical emotion.
And yes, you can increase the ATTRACTION even when you've just met. In fact, this is often the best time to do it.

Let me ask you a question...

What would most guys do in the situation with the waitress (or maybe a bartender)?

Imagine it.

You're in a bar, you're chatting with the cute gal serving drinks or behind the bar. You're being Cocky and Funny, busting on her, etc. and she's enjoying your company.

You say "Hey, give me ur number!"
(notice how I wasn't asking, I was in fact telling her to give me)
and she writes it down for you... or maybe dials her number on yourphone, or maybe gives you a miss call or whatever.


You could...

a) Sit there and keep talking.

b) Stay and talk to her a few more times.

c) Wait around hoping that you can go homewith her.

d) Leave.

So let's do a little critical thinking about this situation before I comment (or maybe this will be the comment, we'll see).

If you:

(a) sit there and keep talking, what's likely to happen?

In my experience, unless you're the ultimatePlayer of all time, the only place to go is DOWN.

Think about it... you got her info. You did it. She's working. She's only going to get busy, which will probably make the conversation more difficult.

And then there's the risk of saying or doing something stupid, getting too drunk to make sense, or just having the interaction go cold.

All in all, you have very little chance of anything good happening, and a great chance of having something not-so-good happening.

Doesn't sound like a very good idea to me.

If you:

(b) stay there in the bar (maybe join friends thatshow up), and talk to her a few more times whileordering drinks, etc. what is likely to happen?

Again, we're dealing with a situation that almost can't get any BETTER.

Remember, she already gave you the info. Now she might start thinking "Oh, this is just another loser that hangs out all night and gets drunk with his buddies... like the other 47 guys who hit on me."

Or you might say something something dumb... or any of a lot of things.

All downside risk, no upside rewards.

If you:

(c) wait around hoping that you can go home with her, I think you're REALLY taking your chances in the situation.

Again, unless you're the ultimate player of all time, you're not likely to be taking home the bartender by sitting in front of her and drinking all night... for the same reasons listed above.

But what if:

(d) YOU LEFT IMMEDIATELY after getting her info?

What effect does DISAPPEARING have on an interaction like this one?

Well, let me ask you:

What effect does disappearing have IN GENERAL on people?

It creates curiosity, mystery, etc. It makes the other person think "I wonder where he/she had to go so fast?"

You can also combine this with having something very INTERESTING to do. For instance, you might say:

"Nice talking to you... I'm going to go meet up with some friends to have some SERIOUS fun."

This technique of leaving the moment after you've gotten a woman's information has worked WONDERS for me... and for many guys I know.

The long and the short of it is that if you stick around after you get the info, you create no tension, no mystery, and no curiosity.

Leaving also exerts confidence.

On the other hand, if you LEAVE IMMEDIATELY,and have something interesting (even if you don't say what it is) to go do, then you're seen as busy... the kind of guy who has a life... someone who is in demand.

Leaving turns up the ATTRACTION. It creates curiosity.

Women are used to guys hanging on, clinging,and generally NOT having other things to do.

It's something that will INSTANTLY separate you from other guys, and something that will demonstrate all the right qualities with a single move.

Remember, you can do things to INCREASE or DECREASE the ATTRACTION in any given situation. I recommend that you start thinking of how to increase it as much as you possibly can, because if a woman feels ATTRACTION, then almost nothing else matters.

Questions and Answers. You might find it somewhat useful.


You've stated numerous times how personality is more important than the other 2 biggies: looks and money. What is your take on shows like "Joe Millionaire" where the star is usually has money and / or good looks? I mean, it's not called "Joe Personality", and they didn't pick Quasimodo to be the star, so it seems to me they're discounting the personality aspect altogether. Just curious about your opinion.Thanks...

This is a GREAT question.

I'm sure that more than one guy has seen some handsome guy drive by in a Ferrari with a smoking hot babe next to him and thought, "Looks and money appear to be important factors when it comes to babes".

It doesn't take 20 years of studying human behavior to figure out that looks and money attract women.

But, what YOU'RE suggesting here, by the way you're phrasing your question, is that all other things being equal, LOOKS and MONEY are MORE important than personality... and that, in fact, if a man has those things, he can attract more women than a guy that doesn't have the benefit of good looks or money (but who has the most attractive personality).

Did that make sense?

That sounded like a math problem from high school.


My point is, that if you have good looks, and lots of money, you will definitely have an advantage.

Money will allow you to hang out in places of prestige like clubs, Starbucks, Luna Bar, where a drink is forty bucks... and there are lots of babes there.

Looks will allow you to create good 1st impressions, as well as it also helps in creating sexual tensions as well.

But here's the KEY...

A guy who is AMAZINGLY handsome and SUPER rich will still fail MOST of the time with the women he interacts with if his PERSONALITY isn't together. And especially if he's too much of a WUSSY. (wussy = a guy that behaves like a girl.)

On the other hand, a guy who REALLY understands what makes women feel ATTRACTION, and knows how to interact with them in a way that grabs their attention and keeps it can succeed often, even if he's broke and ugly.

You'll notice that the rich and handsome guys that are the chick magnets are the ones who ALSO understand women - and have Cocky, Funny, Dominant personalities as well.

The reason why the show you're referring to gets so much attention has NOTHING TO DO with the logic you're using.

The appeal of the show is the CONCEPT, combined with the scandal/fairytale elements (not to mention a bunch of hot women to look at).

Think about it.

I get far too many emails from:

1) Guys who are successful, rich and good-looking who are very unsuccessful with women, and...

2) Average-looking, average-income guys who have TONS of success with women...

Money and looks help, but a man who understands women,communication, and ATTRACTION will be more successful than a rich, handsome guy who doesn't.


I gotta say this. You're seriously awesome. You've opened up my mind and made everything crystal clear for me. Ever since I've learned those stuff from you, I have had more success with women, hot women, then I ever thought possible and the funny part is that it just took me to be me and be the man that I am. Thanks buddy! question. I noticed something funny the past few times I was out with some hot women. I would make the meeting, we would get together and while we were together everything is going great then at some point, deep in my head I would get the thought that this girl isn't what I want and she is lucky I'm here with her. My behavior didn't change, just the thought of not proceeding with her, but instantly they've turned into wussie's. It was like they could read my mind and know they weren't up to par with me. Whats up with that. Can they read stuff like that? It was an instant flip...I mean instant.

One more question. If a girl of interest keeps on begging you to open up about your life, I'm not talking about feelings, just about your life, is that a bad idea. Is that a wussie behavior?


OK, you're touching on something here that is VERY powerful.

I could probably write 20 pages on this topic alone.

Here's the deal...

Women are MUCH better at reading body language than men.

And, as you should know, we humans respond VERY powerfully to body language in general.

The more you interact with women, and the more you use what you're learning from me, the more you'll find that women will FOLLOW YOUR LEAD.

In other words, when you chase a woman, she'll run.

When you play hard to get, she'll pursue you.

If you do things to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then begin to lose interest and behave in a "less interested" way, women will become insecure and start acting like needy Wuss guys. Really.

In fact, one of the things you'll find as you become more and more successful is that women will start becoming VERY attached to you VERY quickly.

Next time you are at a coffee shop, walk up to the counter and greet the person at the register as if they're an old friend that you haven't seen for a few months.

Say "Heyyyy... how have you been doing?" with a big smile.

Watch as they respond to you THE SAME WAY.

We humans respond to subtle body language so instantly and so powerfully that it sometimes scares me.


I just want to say thank you. Thanks to you, I am beginning to learn how to control myself and have more confidence towards women, but there has been a problem I've had for quite some time now.

The problem is: when should I do things for a woman? Such as if she asks me to go to her car for something, or to go and buy her something out a vending machine we have in our office. Or even making copies of documents for her.

I usually don't mind doing these things for women,but I sometimes feel like I'm just some pet to her and she doesn't really care who I am as long as I'm her "do Boy".

I would like the help of a experienced master for help.


I actually think it's fine if you do things for women, buy them things, make copies for them...and fetch whatever her heart desires from the vending machine at work as long as you're not doing it to seek approval from her or whatsoever.

But here's the thing, if you're not seeking her approval or whatsoever, why are you doing it then?

As you can clearly see, you're missing one VERY important piece of the puzzle here.
If you're gonna go and do all those things for a girl:

I recommend that you IMMEDIATELY go out and buy yourself a fine collar, and a good leather leash to go with it.

The next time a woman asks you to go to the car for something, just mention that you needed a "walk" anyway, and ask her if she'd mind holding your leash.

Then take it out, put it on yourself, and hand her the "Master" end of it.

Any other questions?


1. I have been Cocky and Funny pretty well, and my dates respond as they should. The problem comes later. How should I end a date? What to say and do?

2. This is one that is throwing me off:

At least five times recently, I ended a date that was very successful by all accounts. Being Cocky and Funny kept it lively and my date interested and attracted. The date ends with her saying she really wants to get together again soon, etc. The next day, I receive an e-mail or an sms saying something like, "On my way home, I thought about the date and I just want to take things slowly" or "I apologize for being so forward, I don't know what came over me. I don't want to lead you on, and I have decided I am not going to date anyone for a while." !!! Three women told me I was their last date for a while because they were so confused!
What is going on, bro?

Oh, you are running into a VERY interesting problem here.

And the answer is probably not at all what you'd expect.

My guess is that these women are feeling VERY attracted to you, but you're not taking things to a PHYSICAL level with them, so they're getting confused and excusing themselves.

If you go out with a woman, and she feels ATTRACTED to you, but you don't do anything with that attraction, and instead say "OK, good night" , you will scare women away.
You have to realise that being unpredictable means responding to a women in a way that she's not expecting you to;
You on the other hand, I assume, wasn't being responsive at all.

If you're going to be turning them on, you'd better take the next step.

You gotta add more fuel to the flame.

You feel me?

That should solve your problem, bro.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Food for thought... its time to think =)

I'm talking about the skill of APPROACHING WOMEN.

When you have the ability to approach a woman and start a conversation with her, you IMMEDIATELY begin meeting more women every weekend that most men will meet in SIX MONTHS.

Knowing it helps you ----

1. Practically eliminates ALL chance of rejection
2. Lays the groundwork for natural conversation, killing any "awkward" moments
3. Gets her to not only have a conversation with you... but feel ATTRACTION for you with in the first minutes and even SECONDS of approaching her.

Now... what do we really need to know...?

How to approach a woman who is out with a mixed group of friends... or even another guy?

What you must do differently when approaching a woman who is with her girlfriends to avoid having them TURN AGAINST YOU?

What specific lines and techniques for approaching women in every situation you can imagine... from the mall to the beach to the elevator... along with proven word-for-word lines that work nearly ANYWHERE?

How to approach those ULTRA-HOT women in clubs and get them to totally open up to you... even if you are the tenth guy to hit on them that night?

What to do AFTER you approach and the conversation is flowing to ensure she sees you as LOVER instead of just a friend...

Of course...there are many more things you guys might want to ponder about...
But well...
This is a brilliant start...
And do not haress me for the answers =)

Saturday, October 6, 2007

I think I'm letting too much out of the bag...But well.... =)

There are two basic stories for how men and women "start off" together, and two basic stories for how men and women "end up".

Through all of time, I'm sure that men and women have been playing out these stories... and I'm sure that they'll continue to play them out long into the future (that is, unless I have something to say about it... and I do).


Here's "Meeting Story #1":

Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy doesn't have a clue about how to make girl feel ATTRACTION for him... so, instead he tries to"pursue" girl by offering her dinners, gifts, and flowers. Girl finds boy "nice", but there are no"sparks", so she "just likes him as a friend".

Here's "Meeting Story #2":

Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him,boy understands ATTRACTION, and begins to communicate with girl in a way that makes her feel a powerful physical and emotional response for boy that she can't control. The sparks fly, and boy and girl "get together".

As I'm sure you know...

In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation and both of them know it.

In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the situation.


Let's assume that somehow, boy and girl actually "get together". Things usually go one of two ways after that...

Here's "End Up Story #1":

Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he"REALLY likes" girl. Boy begins to act more and more predictable. Boy starts to share "how he feels" about girl too often. Boy becomes more and more submissive. Girl loses that feeling of ATTRACTION that she once had for boy and has no way of explaining or understanding why. Girl leaves boy and boy is left wondering what happened.

Here's "End Up Story #2":

Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that no matter how much he likes girl, he cannot let himself become a Wussy who chases girl around"sharing how he feels" and becomes boring. Boy keeps the relationship interesting and he keeps challenging girl. Boy stays in control of himself, and by understanding his role as "The Man" in the relationship, keeps girl interested and attracted to him into the future.

And again, as I'm sure you know... In story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation and both of them know it. In story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of the situation.

If you look at your experience with women, I'm sure you'll see that these short stories describe MOST of the experiences you've had. Now, of course there are slight twists andvariations, but the message is clear:


If you don't understand ATTRACTION and how it works, then you are destined to keep playing out these same stories for the rest of your life. It's very unlikely that you'll stumble upon the "magic solution" by accident... ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR MEN - VERY DIFFERENT.

The reality is that you CAN stop this negative pattern if you WANT to. But the key is:

1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.
2) Understanding YOURSELF, so you don't ALLOW yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring and turn a good thing into a bad one... but insteadyou do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the right track.

If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you can control your destiny with women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your destiny with women.

Read that paragraph again, and think about it for a minute before you go on.

OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very different for women than it is for men. Different how?

What do I mean by that? ... Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS...not an "event". It happens over time, and it becomes stronger or weaker depending upon how well the man in the situation understands how it works.

For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an"event", meaning that it's either there or it isn't. It really doesn't matter whether or not the woman understands how it works. (As an interesting side note, if a woman really knows how ATTRACTION works, and her intention is to manipulate a man, it usually works VERY well.)

So, think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism"more like a volume knob than a light switch. It's like a fantastic, classy old car that needs to warm up for a long time before you can drive it... not like a brand new Honda that you can start up and get right on the freeway with.

Here's a little secret about women andATTRACTION:

If you'll just take a little longer in every situation to AMPLIFY a woman's ATTRACTION, she'll love you for it... and you'll experience rewards that will make the extra time you spent seem like the best investment of your entire life.

Here are a few specific tips for you for the"Meeting Phase":

Number 1 :

Start with something STRONG, not WEAK.

When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usually turns into a ball of nervous mush. Then, he usually makes the mistake of letting the woman KNOW that he's nervous and weak.

Don't do it.

Do something STRONG.

Challenge her.

If she thinks that she's cool, make fun of her.If she's smart, argue with her a little. If she's doing something, tell her that you could do it better.

When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE,she'll push back. That's your sign that the GAME IS ON.

If you just chase after her like the 100 other Wussies that have been bothering her this week, you will just be another boring, predictable face in the crowd.

Number 2:

Keep the TENSION UP.

One of my favorite concepts is "Never let the flame fade".
This means that once you SPARK the "chemistry"or "sexual tension", you need to KEEP IT UP.
Just because she starts doing things that hint to you that she's interested, doesn't mean that it's time to STOP. Quite the opposite, actually.

Turn UP the volume a little. It's working, so do more! Sexual Tension is SO important that I've actually devoted an entire "language" and way of thinking about it. If you want to learn how to create Sexual Tension, then use it to really amplify ATTRACTION and arousal, then take a minute and look at this.

Number 3:

The word "tease" has a couple of meanings.
One of the meanings has to do with doing things that are slightly annoying to get a response from someone. The other meaning is subtly different and has to do with drawing out a response that you want by doing certain things that indirectly trigger it.
Do both.
If you're about to kiss her, wait until your lips are so close that you can almost feel her...and then STOP. Pull away, and smile.

If you want to know how she feels about you, say, "You LOVE me" in a condescending tone of voice, and see how she responds. If she says "NO I DON'T!" in an exaggerated, mocking way, then she probably DOES "love" you.

Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it. And here are a few tips for the "End Up" phase:

1) Never become BORING.

Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin when it comes to ATTRACTION.
Don't do either.
Of course, telling a man not to be predictable is like telling a dog not to hump your leg.
Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable.
We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it.
But, when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you'd better figure out a way to STOP IT.
There's nothing that will kill the sparks faster than her knowing what you're about to do or say.

2) Don't hand over control.

Women like men who make decisions and take the lead. Now, I'm not saying that women like men who are overly controlling.
What I am saying is that women don't like guys who are always saying things like, "I don't know, what do YOU want to do,baby?".
Women don't want men that they can control, so don't be one.

3) Respect yourself and keep your own interests.

When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often wants to spend as much time as possible with her.
This is natural, of course.
But there's a big danger here as well.
If you put your life aside for a woman, you will become less interesting to HER.
In the long run, it's MUCH better to keep your friends, your interests, and your hobbies, and to spend time doing the things you enjoy... WITHOUT HER.
And I think it's VERY important to keep improving yourself as a person, and continue to be a guy that she can look up to and respect.
As soon as you start acting like she's going to be around forever, she'll start feeling less and less ATTRACTION for you.


Now, as you read these examples, can you see the bigger picture forming?
Can you see the deeper message?
The deeper message is that you need to understand how ATTRACTION works for women and you need to do those things that keep the ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.
Now, where does this all begin?
It begins with YOU.
And it begins with you learning how to control yourself and your emotions. It begins with you understanding the history of how and why men and women become attracted to each other.

It begins with you learning the basics of how to use subtle body language and communication to make women feel ATTRACTION for you.

Monday, October 1, 2007

Something that might be of interest to you (1)


You are a saint. A giant among insects... Ok,maybe not, but it gets through the obligatory ass-kissing since you have helped me so much.

Let me begin...I've had my eyes on this particular girl for quite some time, and I could tell she was already into me quite a bit, but we had never made anything of it. Last week, she decided to "be bold" and ask ME out, instead of the other way around (you can see I'm already doing something right). She asked if I wanted to go see a movie some time; instead of freaking out and jumping at the chance, I said I'm rather tired of this whole `movie date' thing. If she wanted to get me, she was going to have to be a little more creative. She was rather shocked and felt somewhat rejected. Later in the conversation,we were got to talking about this stalker (wussy who needs a life) that seems to be in love with her, and she hates him. He had asked her if she wanted to accompany him to a football game the next night that they both were already going to. She said she really wished that I would come with her so this guy would leave her alone.

I thought,"Ok. This will be my good deed for the year." and said I would go. She ends up driving me to the game. Upon arrival, she just HAD to braid herhair, and asked me to wait around while she did so. I stood there for a second, and then walked off. She started yelling at me to wait; I simply replied, "I'll see you inside the gate." waved and walked off. Once inside, I didn't see her come in,but soon felt someone grab my butt (it was her).We went on into the stadium, she soon saw someone she knew and went to talk to them, dragging me along. I stood around for a second, then wandered off, since I had seen someone I knew as well. She comes to find me soon, and we go off to our seats.

Her stalker had seen us as we were going to ourseats and decided to stay with us for part of the night. She began talking to him, and I did my own thing. I wandered off numerous times through out the night and generally acted very secure and like I didn't need a thing in the world (especiallyher!).

Following the game, as we walked back to her car I could tell that she wanted me badly due to some things she had been saying. She drove me back to where my car was waiting and we talked for twenty minutes or so in her car. There was some hand holding and such going on during the conversation. She said, "You know we're just going to end up making out-you're just delaying the inevitable." Bingo. I shrugged it off, and we continued talking. About ten minutes later, she said, "It's getting late; I really should be getting home." Obviously a ploy to get things started, as it was only 10:15 PM. I shrugged it off, again.

A few minutes pass, and she says,"It's late, I really need to go." I say,"Alright." I open the door and get out of the car.She says, "Where are you going?" I reply nonchalantly, "I just don't think you want it badly enough yet." Score #2. I walk off to my car;she immediately jumps out of the car and begins walking to my car as well.

I get to the car and put the key in the door and she sticks her leg infront of the door with this defiant attitude. I say, "You know, I've never been raped in an empty parking lot before..."You can imagine what went on from there.

Now, on to the questions: First, now that I've used my best line ever ("I just don't think you want it badly enough yet."), do you have any suggestions on what to do and say next time to create that same anticipation/desire in her? Also, you always say that I need to be the first to end the conversation, but many of the girls that I am interested in are somewhat sporadic and tend to call, when they don't have a lot of time. Quite often, they are the ones to end the conversation before I have a chance to. How do I take this? Should I just reply, "Alright. I'll catch you later." Acting like I could care less?


Great story. I'm sure that anyone reading this would say"Yeah, but she already liked you"... I wish you would have told the story from the beginning, because I'll bet you MADE her like you with more of the same type communication that you described here. The one thing that you clearly understand here is how SEXUAL TENSION works. You understand how to take a small spark of desire from her and AMPLIFY it until it's literally EXPLOSIVE. If you keep amplifying and letting the tension build with a particular woman, this is the kind of result you'll get... and she will LOVE you for it.

Bravo! Things like making her come up with a more"interesting" date idea, walking away from her when other guys would have clung to her, shrugging off her comments about the two of you getting together, etc. are the magic ingredients. Most guys DESTROY all the sexual tension at every possible opportunity... they take every chance they can to SCREW THINGS UP because they don't know better... The fact is that most men just don't UNDERSTAND how women get turned on.

And most men don't understand that if you really want a woman to WANT you, then you NEED to get her turned on. It's not going to happen by itself.

Here's another interesting aspect of that thing called ATTRACTION:

The bigger the challenge you are, and the more intense the sexual tension, the more aroused a woman will become... so that when you finally do connect physically it's pure electricity.

Again, most men can't HANDLE sexual tension.They feel uncomfortable when the situation isn't"clear cut", and they screw things up.

One of the things you mentioned doing was"shrugging off" her obvious "come ons" to you. This kind of thing makes no sense to most guys. But it makes sense to me. And it made a LOT of sense to HER.

When a woman throws out a sexual comment, etc.most guys screw it up. That's because they don't know the SECRET about these types of comments.

When you're a major challenge, it naturally means that she's not IN CONTROL of the situation.

Attractive women are USED to being in control, so when they're NOT in control, they get agitated. It really bothers them.

So they TEST. They use all kinds of interesting tricks and tactics to see if you're just FAKING like you're actually in control of yourself and the situation.

One of the most obvious tests is throwing out a sexual comment. She might mention that she loves sex, or that she thinks you guys have a chance of "hooking up",or some other "tease".

But make no mistake about it, these comments are not at all the innocent remarks that they appear to be. She's watching VERY closely to see if you'll take the bait. It's a woman's last resort when she feels like she isn't controlling the situation to see if you'll crumble to SOMETHING.

-- If you saysomething like, "Really? You think we're going tohook up? That would be cool." Then she KNOWS SHE'S IN CONTROL.

If you say, "Yeah, you think so? I don't know, I'm not that easy..." then it just dials up the tension, mystery, and challenge.

OK, so you've asked me a couple of questions as well... What should you do NEXT time you see her to keep the tension building...? Well, if something works, KEEP DOING IT. If she enjoyed it the first time, do it again.

This time wait a little longer. Make her think about it a little bit more.

Women LOVE anticipation. They love to feel the rush that something is going to happen... but not know WHEN.

If you REALLY want to take things to the next level, take a page from popular movies and romance novels.

Don't just kiss her. Kiss her PASSIONATELY.

Pull her body into yours as you kiss her. Then push her away and say, "You're bad!"

Stop for awhile. Make her think about it. Then start again when she isn't expecting it.

These are the types of things that make women think about you all the time when you're gone...and call you in the middle of the night because they want to see you. Really.

Most men are so damn BORING when it comes to this stuff! They do NOTHING to make a woman FEEL the powerful feelings that she's always wanted to feel.

You be the one to do it, and you'll be the one she always wants around.

Your second question was about ending calls and conversations first.

The REASON why you should end all conversations and other interactions with women first is that it conveys a clear message:


It turns YOU into the one that's desirable.

Most guys cling, and try to keep a woman on the phone for a long time. They desire a woman's attention and approval, and they make it clear that this is what they're after.

If you run into a woman who's always on the run, don't let it get to you. To put it differently, don't become obsessed with her just because she's never available!

The answer is to just take things to the nextlevel. Here's a GREAT little technique...

An amazing and simple way to handle this kind of thing is to just say "OK, bye" without any other comments.

She says "I have to go, my friends are waiting for me outside". Just say "OK, bye" and SHUT UP.

80% of the time, she'll say "No, wait! I'm just really busy, call me in a few days" etc.

You can't "kind of" do this. You have to be READY. She's TESTING you by playing hard to get.

It's a game. Have fun with it.

As soon as she says "I have to go, my laundry is in the dryer", you SHOOT back "OK, bye" in a VERY abrupt and casual tone and SHUT UP.

It will create a funny, uncomfortable silence for just a second. Most of the time, she'll say something in a tone of voice that says "That was weird", and then she'll give some kind of explanation or ask you why you were so short with her.

Of course, this is a great opportunity to bust her balls and create some fun banter.

Again, you'll often have her say something like"I'm really busy right now. I'm sorry. Call me tomorrow and let's do something". At this point, you can say "Yeah, if you're lucky. Bye!"

Not cold. Not mean. Just short and to the point. Then, when you call her next, it was HER that asked for the call. You get to call up and say "Well, last time we talked you were begging me to call you... and I felt so bad for you that I finally broke down."

What we're talking about here is DESIRE... and more importantly, INCREASING IT. In most interactions with women there is an opportunity to SPARK the chemistry... the sexual tension... the desire... and then there are many opportunities to AMPLIFY that desire.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Forgive me...

My days have truly been busy...will update this site as soon as I have ample time.

Monday, July 9, 2007

Artist - Maroon 5
Song---- Can't Stop
Album--- It won't be soon before long

(One, two, three)

All alone in my room, think of you at a rate that is truly alarming
I keep looping my memories of you in my head, I pretend that you want me
And I fall asleep and dream of alternate realities
And I put myself at ease by pretending that she still loves me

And I can't stop thinking about you
And I can't stop thinking about you
You never call, what do I do?
And I can't stop thinking about your love

Ohh, yeah

Can't believe I could think that she would just follow me everywhere I go
I just wrestle with you in my dreams and wake up making love to a pillow
And I fall asleep and dream of alternate realities
And I put myself at ease by pretending that she still loves me

And I can't stop thinking about you
And I can't stop thinking about you
You never call, what do I do?
And I can't stop, and I can't stop

What I would give to have you look in my direction
And I'd give my life to somehow attract your attention
And I touch myself like it's somebody else
Thoughts of you are tattooed on my mind, let me show you

And I can't stop thinking about you
And I can't stop thinking about you
You'll never go, what do I do?
And I can't stop thinking about you

And I can't stop thinking about you
And I can't stop thinking about you
You'll never go, what do I do?
And I can't stop thinking about you
Artist: Justin Timberlake
Album: Futuresex / Lovesounds
Title: Lovestoned / I Think She Knows Interlude

She's freaky and she knows it
She's freaky and I like it


She grabs the yellow bottle
She likes the way it hits her lips
She gets to the bottom
It sends her on a trip so right
She might be goin' home with me tonight

She looks like a model
Except she's got a little more ass
Don't even bother
Unless you've got that thing she likes
I hope she's goin' home with me tonight

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

She's freaky and she knows it
She's freaky, but I like it

She shuts the room down
The way she walks and causes a fuss
The baddest in town
She's flawless like some uncut ice
I hope she's goin' home with me tonight

And all she wants is to dance
That's why you'll find her on the floor
But you don't have a chance
Unless you move the way that she likes
That's why she's goin' home with me tonight

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

Those flashing lights seem to cause a glare
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned from everywhere
She's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

Now dance
Little girl
You're freaky, but I like it
Hot damn!
Let me put my funk on this one time

[Instrumental break]

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

Those flashing lights seem to cause a glare
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned from everywhere
She's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
Man I swear she's bad and she knows
I think that she knows

[instrumental break]

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
She's got me love stoned
I think I'm love stoned
She's got me love stoned

I think that she knows, think that she knows, oh, oh [repeat 2 more times]

Those flashing lights come from everywhere
The way they hit her I just stop and stare
I'm love stoned from everywhere and she knows
I think that she knows
Think that she knows, oh, oh

And now I walk around without a care
She's got me hooked
It just ain't fair, but I...
I'm love stoned and I could swear
That she knows
Think that she knows, oh, oh
She knows, she knows, oh, oh

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

A question and an answer.


I have a question. Although I hardly ever fail with women, when I'm first meeting a girl and teasing her and being cocky but funny, they respond well and seem to be interested in me.

However,when I ask for the number, lots (not necessarily most, but a good number) of girls initially say"Oh, I've lost my phone yesterday." Or, " You know what? Why don't you give me your number instead?" Or, " I don't have a cellphone actually, I'm sorry."

However, when I give a cocky response, or even if i just say "yeah right", they IMMEDIATELY concede and give me their number... and lo and behold, it works.

I'm just wondering why they make up those lies if they're going to give in INSTANTLY. I wouldn't think that this was too important if it happened once or twice, but there seems to be a trend or pattern here. What's going on?


I'm really glad that you asked this particular question because it's hard for a lot of guys to believe that this kind of thing could be real (or at least so common).

My translation of what you just asked is: "Why do women play games when you ask for their number?"

In response to your question, I'm going to give you a two-pronged answer:

1) The psychology of what's going on here.
2) The technique: How I deal with this particular situation, and others like it.

Here's the story which has a psychology lesson to it.

There is this guy I know that had a particularly interesting technique for hiring people.

Here's what he did: After interviewing people for the position, he'd call back the one he liked BEST, and say:"I wanted to call and thank you for applying for this job, but I just don't think you're the right person for the position"... and then he'd listen.

If the person said, "OK, well thank you" he'd just hang up and call the next favorite one. On the other hand, if they said, "Wait a minute, I am the best person for the position, I'm sure of it" etc. he'd say, "Well, tell me more.Why do you think so?" I actually listened to him do this live on the speaker phone one day in his office with a woman that he had interviewed. Sure enough, when he said"Well, I just don't think you're the right person..." she answered with "Why not? I am thebest..." etc. And, sure enough, he hired her.

The point here is that in a hiring situation,there are usually many people applying. An interviewer needs to have ways of quickly filtering through and disqualifying theunacceptable candidates. And a SAVVY interviewer will have ways of quickly finding the EXCEPTIONAL candidates.

This was a great technique for doing just that.



Hint: Polite men that say, "Oh OK, sorry for bothering you..." or "OK, here's my number, call me..." are not SEXY or ATTRACTIVE.

On the other hand, men that say (Some of my favorites): "Oh, it's OK... you don't have a phone? That's nothing to be embarrassed about" or "And you expect me to believe that?" in a cocky, funny way instantly telegraph the message: "I'm not a girly-man that gives up easily, and I see through your games. I don't buy it" are VERY ATTRACTIVE. It just says all the right things.

So, here are a few things to remember:

1) Attractive women are approached all the time by men, and are constantly being asked for their number.

2) If you were a woman who is getting asked for your phone number forty seven times a day, you'd probably make excuses yourself.

3) The excuses and "Why don't you give me yours" type responses weed out about 95% of the losers that have no spine and no persistence.

4) If you're READY for this in advance, and you KNOW what you're going to say and do when it happens, AND you don't answer with a lame, needy,wuss response, you increase your chances of getting the number DRAMATICALLY.

5) Confident, cocky, funny responses are a great way to power through these situations.

Let's face it:

Attractive women get a lot of attention. They're not looking for a guy that throws himself at her, and then gives up easily.They're looking for a guy that has all kinds of self confidence, and sees right through her games... to the point where he disarms her and walks away with the digits.

Think about it.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Interpersonal attraction.

-Interpersonal Attraction-

Interpersonal attraction is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and romantic relationships. In a colloquial sense, interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, love, dislike, or hate someone. Interpersonal attraction can be thought of as a force acting between two people tending to draw them together, and resisting their separation. According to a personality psychologists' view, interpersonal attraction is a person's qualities that tend to attract by appealing to another person's desires.

When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of study in social psychology. They suggest that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account. Repulsion is also a factor in the process of interpersonal attraction, one's conception of "attraction" to another can vary from extreme attraction to extreme repulsion.

Many factors leading to interpersonal attraction have been studied. The most frequently studied are:

Physical attractiveness
Reciprocal liking

Monday, June 25, 2007

Misconceptions and logical fallacies pertaining to randomness.

Popular perceptions of randomness are frequently wrong, based on logical fallacies. The following is an attempt to identify the source of such fallacies and correct the logical errors.

The Gambler's Fallacy.

The gambler's fallacy is a formal fallacy. It is the incorrect belief that the likelihood of a random event can be affected by or predicted from other, independent events.

The gambler's fallacy gets its name from the fact that, where the random event is the throw of a dice or the spin of a roulette wheel, gamblers will risk money on their belief in "a run of luck" or a mistaken understanding of "the law of averages". It often arises because a similarity between random processes is mistakenly interpreted as a predictive relationship between them. (For instance, two fair dice are similar in that they each have the same chances of yielding each number - but they are independent in that they do not actually influence one another.)

A more subtle version of the fallacy is that an "interesting" (non-random looking) outcome is "unlikely" (eg that a sequence of "1,2,3,4,5,6" in a lottery result is less likely than any other individual outcome). Even apart from the debate about what constitutes an "interesting" result, this can be seen as a version of the gambler's fallacy because it is saying that a random event is less likely to occur if the result, taken in conjunction with recent events, will produce an "interesting" pattern.

The gambler's fallacy can be illustrated by considering the repeated toss of a coin. With a fair coin the chances of getting heads are exactly 0.5 (one in two). The chances of it coming up heads twice in a row are 0.5×0.5=0.25 (one in four). The probability of three heads in a row is 0.5×0.5×0.5= 0.125 (one in eight) and so on.

Now suppose that we have just tossed four heads in a row. A believer in the gambler's fallacy might say, "If the next coin flipped were to come up heads, it would generate a run of five successive heads. The probability of a run of five successive heads is (1 / 2)5 = 1 / 32; therefore, the next coin flipped only has a 1 in 32 chance of coming up heads."

This is the fallacious step in the argument. If the coin is fair, then by definition the probability of tails must always be 0.5, never more or less, and the probability of heads must always be 0.5, never less (or more). While a run of five heads is only 1 in 32 (0.03125), it is 1 in 32 before the coin is first tossed. After the first four tosses the results are no longer unknown, so they do not count. The probability of five consecutive heads is the same as four successive heads followed by one tails. Tails is no more likely. In fact, the calculation of the 1 in 32 probability relied on the assumption that heads and tails are equally likely at every step. Each of the two possible outcomes has equal probability no matter how many times the coin has been flipped previously and no matter what the result. Reasoning that it is more likely that the next toss will be a tail than a head due to the past tosses is the fallacy. The fallacy is the idea that a run of luck in the past somehow influences the odds of a bet in the future. This kind of logic would only work, if we had to guess all the tosses' results 'before' they are carried out. Let's say we are gambling on a HHHHH result, that is likely to constitute the significantly lesser chance to succeed.

Here are some other examples:

What is the probability of flipping 21 heads in a row, with a fair coin? (Answer: 1 in 2,097,152 = approximately 0.000000477.) What is the probability of doing it, given that you have already flipped 20 heads in a row? (Answer: 0.5.)

Are you more likely to win the lottery jackpot by choosing the same numbers every time or by choosing different numbers every time? (Answer: Either strategy is equally likely to win.)

Are you more or less likely to win the lottery jackpot by picking the numbers which won last week, or picking numbers at random? (Answer: Either strategy is equally likely to win.)
(This does not mean that all possible choices of numbers within a given lottery are equally good.

While the odds of winning may be the same regardless of which numbers are chosen, the expected payout is not, because of the possibility of having to share that jackpot with other players. A rational gambler might attempt to predict other players' choices and then deliberately avoid these numbers.)

A number is "due"

This argument says that "since all numbers will eventually appear in a random selection, those that have not come up yet are 'due' and thus more likely to come up soon". This logic is only correct if applied to a system where numbers that come up are removed from the system, such as when playing cards are drawn and not returned to the deck. It's true, for example, that once a jack is removed from the deck, the next draw is less likely to be a jack and more likely to be some other card. However, if the jack is returned to the deck, and the deck is thoroughly reshuffled, there is an equal chance of drawing a jack or any other card the next time. The same truth applies to any other case where objects are selected independently and nothing is removed from the system after each event, such as a die roll, coin toss or most lottery number selection schemes. A way to look at it is to note that random processes such as throwing coins don't have memory, making it impossible for past outcomes to affect the present and future.

A number is "cursed"

This argument is almost the reverse of the above, and says that numbers which have come up less often in the past will continue to come up less often in the future. A similar "number is 'blessed'" argument might be made saying that numbers which have come up more often in the past are likely to do so in the future. This logic is only valid if the roll is somehow biased and results don't have equal probabilities — for example, with weighted dice. If we know for certain that the roll is fair, then previous events have no influence over future events.

Note that in nature, unexpected or uncertain events rarely occur with perfectly equal frequencies, so learning which events are likely to have higher probability by observing outcomes makes sense. What is fallacious is to apply this logic to systems which are specially designed so that all outcomes are equally likely — such as dice, roulette wheels, and so on.

Randomness and how it is associated with free will.(Theological Issue)

The word random is used to express lack of order, purpose, cause, or predictability in non-scientific parlance. A random process is a repeating process whose outcomes follow no describable deterministic pattern, but follow a probability distribution.

The term randomness is often used in statistics to signify well defined statistical properties, such as lack of bias or correlation.

Randomness has an important place in science, philosophy, and religion.

Randomness and how it is associated with free will.(Theological Issue)

Randomness has been associated closely with the notion of free will in a number of ways. If a person has free will (as defined by incompatibilists), then his actions will be unpredictable by other people and will contain an element of irreducible indeterminacy. By religious or supernatural conceptions of incompatibilist free will, such human actions may be the only source of randomness in the universe. (According to the naturalistic conception, by contrast, incompatibilist free will arises from pre-existing indeterminacy in physical laws and is not necessarily a unique feature of humans. According to the compatibilist conception, there is no randomness and humans are merely too complex to be easily predicted).

Some theologians have attempted to resolve the apparent contradiction between an omniscient deity, or a first cause, and free will using randomness. Discordians have a strong belief in randomness and unpredictability. Buddhist philosophy states that any event is the result of previous events (karma) and as such there is no such thing as a random event nor a 'first' event.
Martin Luther, the forefather of Protestantism, believed that there was nothing random based on his understanding of the Bible. As an outcome of his understanding of randomness he strongly felt that free will was limited to low level decision making by humans. Therefore, when someone sins against another, decision making is only limited to how one responds preferably through forgiveness and loving actions. He believed based on Biblical scripture that humans cannot will themselves, faith, salvation, sanctification, or other gifts from God. Additionally, the best people could do according to his understanding was not sin but they fall short and free will cannot achieve this objective. Thus, in his view absolute free will and unbounded randomness are severely limited to the point that behaviors may even be patterned or ordered and not random. This is a point emphasized by the field of behavioral psychology.

Further inspection into the origins of Judeo/Christian religion indicates one view that there is a very strict understanding of predestination excluding any possibility of random events. At the time of Christ the Qumran, a tribe outside of Jerusalem by the Dead Sea, had scrolls that documented their very strict deterministic worldview. Elements of this worldview are found in modern Christianity. For example, the King James and NIV Bible tell humans that God knew the believers before the foundations of time, ECC 3 is about God's perfect timing, and Daniel, Ezkiel, and Revelation tell humans that the end state is already determined. Moreover, the Judeo\Christian Bible indicates that there is a purpose to everything which is found in ECC 3 also.

These notions and more in Christianity often lend to a highly deterministic worldview and that the concept of random events is not possible. Especially, if purpose is part of this universe then randomness, by definition, is not possible. This is also a foundation for Intelligent Design which is counter to Evolution that remarks the natural emerges based on random selection.

Donald Knuth, a Stanford computer scientist and Christian commentator, remarks that he finds pseudo-random numbers useful and applies them with purpose. He then extends this thought to God who may use randomness with purpose to allow free will to certain degrees. Knuth believes that God is interested in peoples decisions and limited free will allows a certain degree of decision making. Knuth, based on his understanding of quantum computing and entanglement, comments that God exerts dynamic control over the world without violating any laws of physics suggesting that what appears to be random to humans may not, in fact, be so random.

C.S. Lewis, a 20th century Christian philosopher, discussed free will at length. On the matter of human will, Lewis wrote: "God willed the free will of men and angels in spite of His knowledge that it could lead in some cases to sin and thence to suffering: i.e., He thought freedom worth creating even at that price." In his radio broadcast Lewis indicated that God "gave [humans] free will. He gave them free will because a world of mere automata could never love…" Lewis, believing in free will, had an indirect belief in randomness by setting up a dependency of love on free will.

Matt Ridley, a zoology doctorate and science writer, writes how humans, a paradoxical creature, can be simultaneously free-willed and motivated by instinct and culture. Ridley suggests that experience and genes have interplay. In his writings he explores DNA as a pattern makers template, not as a blueprint for life, and points to causes of free will as consequences to genetic outcomes. Ridley, in his musings, suggests that the evolutionary force he thinks shapes the contents of our genes is the Genome Organizing Device, or GOD. In Ridley's mind GOD is the pattern maker. Thus, Ridley literally defies natural selection indicating that sources of randomness include God and human decision making.

However, when we acknowledged that an Omniscient God exist, I would be right in concluding that God would indeed know our every moves and thoughts, even before it comes to our own understanding or interpretation of our very actions. The causes and reasons would be know to God beforehand. If this is indeed true, then it would be perfectly logical to conclude that free will does not exist. God knows everything ----God knows our thoughts, our deeds(the *how* and *why* we do things), knows to a degree of absolute certainty on our decisions or our reactions in every single possible scenario---- There is no free will.

We could say that if God does not literally interfere with our decisions then our free will still stands. However, I disagree with that statement. When you have an absolute certainty in predicting another individual's actions and thoughts, to you...he is no different from a robot that is already programmed. However, as long as he does not know that you are able to predict his actions and thoughts to a degree of absolute certainty, he would still consider he has free will.

I personally believe that in the eyes of God, everything is destined. But in the eyes of man, destiny is in your own hands.


In philosophy, ontology is the study of being or existence and forms the basic subject matter of metaphysics. It seeks to describe or posit the basic categories and relationships of being or existence to define entities and types of entities within its framework.

Ontology can be said to study conceptions of reality; and, for the sake of distinction, at least to the extent to which its counterpart, epistemology can be represented as being a search for answers to the questions "What do you know?" and "How do you know it?", ontology can be represented as a search for an answer to the question "What are the knowable things?".

Some philosophers, notably of the Platonic school, contend that all nouns refer to entities. Other philosophers contend that some nouns do not name entities but provide a kind of shorthand way of referring to a collection (of either objects or events). In this latter view, mind, instead of referring to an entity, refers to a collection of mental events experienced by a person; society refers to a collection of persons with some shared interactions, and geometry refers to a collection of a specific kind of intellectual activity.

Any ontology must give an account of which words refer to entities, which do not, why, and what categories result. When one applies this process to nouns such as electrons, energy, contract, happiness, time, truth, causality, and God, ontology becomes fundamental to many branches of philosophy.

Ontology has one basic question: "What is there?" Different philosophers provide different answers to this question.

One common approach is to divide the extant entities into groups called "categories". However, these lists of categories are also quite different from one another. It is in this latter sense that ontology is applied to such fields as theology, information science and artificial intelligence.
Further examples of ontological questions include:

What is existence?

Is existence a property?

What does it mean to say something does not exist?

Are sentences expressing the existence or non-existence of something properly called propositions?

What is a physical object? Can one give an account of what it means to say that a physical object exists?

What constitutes the identity of an object?

When does an object go out of existence, as opposed to merely changing?

What features are the essential, as opposed to merely accidental, attributes of a given object?

What are an object's properties or relations and how are they related to the object itself?

What could it mean to say that non-physical objects (such as a time, souls) exist?

Why are we here? Why does anything exist, rather than nothingness? (Though, according to some, these questions may be more in the realm of cosmology.)


Metaphysics is the branch of philosophy concerned with explaining the ultimate nature of reality, being, and the world. Metaphysics addresses questions that have existed for as long as the human race - many still with no definitive answer. Examples are:

What is the meaning of life?
What is the nature of reality?
What is mankind's place in the universe?
Are colors objective or subjective?
Does the world exist outside the mind?
What is the nature of objects, events, places?

A central branch of metaphysics is ontology, the investigation into what types of things there are in the world and what relations these things bear to one another. The metaphysician also attempts to clarify the notions by which people understand the world, including existence, objecthood, property, space, time, causality, and possibility.

More recently, the term "metaphysics" has also been used more loosely to refer to "subjects that are beyond the physical world". A "metaphysical bookstore", for instance, is not one that sells books on ontology, but rather one that sells books on spirits, faith healing, crystal power, occultism, and other such topics.

Before the development of modern science, scientific questions were addressed as a part of metaphysics known as "natural philosophy"; the term "science" itself meant "knowledge". The Scientific Revolution, however, made natural philosophy an empirical and experimental activity unlike the rest of philosophy, and by the end of the eighteenth century it had begun to be called "science" in order to distinguish it from philosophy. Metaphysics therefore became the philosophical enquiry into subjects beyond the physical world. Natural philosophy and science may still be considered topics of metaphysics, if the definition of "metaphysics" includes empirical explanations.



Ethics "moral philosophy", a major branch of philosophy, is the study of values and customs of a person or group. It covers the analysis and employment of concepts such as right and wrong, good and evil, and responsibility. It is divided into three primary areas: meta-ethics (the study of the concept of ethics), normative ethics (the study of how to determine ethical values), and applied ethics (the study of the use of ethical values).

Meta- ethics:
There are two main strands of thought, "non-realism" and "realism," that attempt to explain what ethical values and claims are actually about.

One strand is commonly termed 'non-realism', because it suggests moral values are creations, dependent on people's feelings and goals regarding themselves and others (emotivism or prescriptivism) or on their belief systems (cultural or individual relativism). Despite the name 'non-realist', such theories may see reality as important in shaping the human choice of ethical values. This could occur indirectly by, for example, the evolutionary or developmental shaping of human psychology, or directly through, for example, people assessing and debating the likely consequences of their actions.

Another group of meta-ethical theories, called 'realism', by contrast, hold that moral value is somehow an intrinsic property of the world and that ethical principles are simply discovered or intuited. Under this view, ethical values held by people can at best reflect an independent truth by which their validity must be judged. These theories may be derived from theology or naturalism.

Normative ethics:
Normative ethics bridges the gap between meta-ethics and applied ethics. It is the attempt to arrive at general moral standards that tell us how to judge right from wrong, or good from bad, and how to live moral lives. This may involve articulating the character or good habits that we should acquire, the duties that we should follow, or the consequences of our behaviour on ourselves and others. There are three main approaches to normative ethics.

Normative ethicists who follow the first approach are often called virtue ethicists, and articulate the various virtues or good habits that should be acquired. Aristotle is a pioneer virtue ethicist.

Normative ethicists who follow the second approach are often called deontological ethicists. Immanuel Kant set out a large framework for a deontological normative ethical theory.
Normative ethicists who follow the third approach are often called consequentialists or (specifically in regard to the theory of the greatest good for the greatest number) utilitarians; John Stuart Mill set out a large framework for a utilitarian normative ethics.

Applied ethics:
Bernard Crick in 1982 offered a socially-centred view, that politics was the only applied ethics, that it was how cases were really resolved, and that "political virtues" were in fact necessary in all matters where human morality and interests were destined to clash.

The lines of distinction between meta-ethics, normative ethics, and applied ethics are often blurry. For example, the issue of abortion is an applied ethical topic since it involves a specific type of controversial behavior. But it also depends on more general normative principles, such as the right of self-rule and the right to life, which are litmus tests for determining the morality of that procedure. The issue also rests on metaethical issues such as, "where do rights come from?" and "what kind of beings have rights?"

Another concept which blurs ethics is moral luck. A drunk driver may safely reach home without injuring anyone, or he might accidentally kill a child who runs out into the street while he is driving home. The action of driving while drunk is usually seen as equally wrong in each case, but its dependence on chance affects the degree to which the driver is held responsible.